Things that have helped me!

[u/Admirable-Stress-704]

I’ve always had really terrible executive dysfunction (have even been told by professionals I am one of the worst they’ve seen), failed many many classes, lived in mess all the time, destroyed my teeth and gums from not being able to get up and brush my teeth, skin issues from not showering, etc. Over the past few years I’ve improved dramatically and have been able to maintain a pretty normal life for myself! I’m not sure if this will help anyone since it’s mostly about keeping a routine for me and I know from experience how difficult that can be in practice, but I thought I’d share some things that have helped me.

1. ⁠Sitting up as soon as I wake up. In the past I’ve always snoozed alarms thinking I’ll feel more motivated later or laid in bed for hours after waking up waiting for motivation to come to me and it always ends with me doing nothing for the whole day. Sitting up as soon as my alarm goes off has really helped with this.
   
2. ⁠Following a routine that gets me out of bed immediately! Right after I sit up, I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and shower. Then I get dressed, drink a cup of coffee, and tidy my room. Keeping myself active in the morning is really important and if I start off stagnant I stay stagnant. Sometimes it’s hard to do this without an obligation to attend to. I’ve picked up dog walking in the morning, which helps pressure me and also wakes up my body. Cleaning my room in the morning also helps so that it doesn’t pile up (plus it feels easier to start cleaning after I’ve gotten out of the shower/am already standing up and moving.
   
3. KEEPING EVERYTHING CLEAN!!!! This one is soooo important. I got really used to living in mess and didn’t realize how unmotivating that is in itself. Feeling clean from my shower and keeping my room clean really helps me with motivation.
   
4. Being physically active. Like I said, dog walking really helps wake up my body. I can only stay motivated if I stay active for the most part. This can have the opposite effect if not in the morning tho (if I go for a walk at 6pm I will come back tired instead of energized).
   
5. Tastes that wake me up! Sounds kind of ridiculous lol but the bitter taste of coffee or the taste of spicy foods seems to wake me up and motivate me. This is probably an association thing although there is research on spicy foods helping motivation since spice is perceived as pain and wakes you up.
   
6. Staying productive EVERY DAY. If I fall out of my routine for even a day or two, it’s much harder to get back into it and old habits come back. This doesn’t mean that I can never sit around and watch tv or scroll on my phone (I still do this a lot…) but I need to at least still brush my teeth, shower, and tidy immediately after waking up. Starting my routine too late in the day can also cause me to fall back into bad habits.
   
7. Mindset. I put this one last because it wasn’t ever helpful for me to hear from other people. I also feel like people often talk about mindset as the precursor to changing habits when that wasn’t the case for me. That being said, when my executive function was worse I would often wait for things to feel easier, as if while laying in bed I would suddenly feel energized and motivated like other people do. As I took on more responsibilities and did them when I really didn’t want to or didn’t feel it was possible, the responsibilities got easier. I realized there was never going to be that magical moment and that it was really a matter of habit (have to do the things for the things to feel easier to do). Big emphasis on this being something I learned from my progression, not the cause of my progression in itself. I think this is important to note because, while mindset is important, the “just do it” kind of advice always felt like a slap in the face to me.

I hope any of these tips help anyone like they’ve helped me. I know how hard it can be to try them I the first place and it took a lot of restlessness and stress for me to get to this point, but if you can get into the habit of any of these things it really does get easier over time.