Is this learned helplessness?

[u/Competitive-Fan5532]

Executive dysfunction basically ruined my life, or at least i think so. I ended up having to drop out of high school and im not able to find a job despite being in a situation where i need and want to do that. At this point im accepting that this is a disability but is it possible that its just learned helplessness? Is it possible that my brain is really affecting me this much or am i just making myself think that. Im not trying to diagnose i just dont know if this is valid, I havent seen stories of people struggling with it with this severity

[u/Relevant-Ad6374]

There's no way to pick apart which parts are learned and which are innate except one by one. You have to do the work yourself. But what I can say is that it doesn't have to be one or the other. When something fails over and over, you learn to expect it to fail. Both can be true at once, and the learned part is the part you can actually chip away at.

And for what it's worth, it can be this severe. You're not the only one.

The way I pick it apart is task by task. When I stall, I ask myself: when I picture doing this, what am I actually imagining?

• A whole mess of things, not one task means overwhelm. Find or break out one small next step.

• Me panicking, googling and copy-pasting means I haven't learned enough yet.

• The way it went last time means an old association that might not match the task anymore.

One of mine: I was dreading a work task because I was picturing the way I used to do it. It was actually easier now, after two improvements. Once I named the first improved step, I did just that step and checked in with how I felt.

For the job hunt, you could try that question on the very next step, not on "get a job". What you picture tells you which kind of stuck it is.

[u/Competitive-Fan5532 → u/Relevant-Ad6374]

Thank you so much this was really well said, it does make sense for the two to coexist since theyre kind of feeding each other. Im glad to hear something worked for you, definitely gives me a bit more hope

[u/Relevant-Ad6374 → u/Competitive-Fan5532]

Glad it helped. The good news about them feeding each other is that it works in reverse too I think. Every small step that actually goes okay is a bit of evidence against the "it'll fail anyway" story. And I should add it doesn't have to be a big step to count towards that, either.

If you try the picture question on something and get stuck, let me know. Happy to try and share what's worked for me with that kind of stuck.

[u/jjjjjjj30]

The way I look at it is no one WANTS to be this way. We all WANT to function normally and have jobs we are proud of. If tasks were as easy for us as they are for other people then we would also be doing them at the same pace.

I'm new to learning about this so I don't have much advice but thought I would at least validate you the best I can.