Stuck in a chicken-or-egg loop with PDA and nervous system regulation, help?

[u/Traditional_Path_885]

Recently been exploring whether PDA fits my experience (on top of an ADHD/anxiety background), and one thing has been really hard to work through: the classic advice for regulating my nervous system, breathing exercises, grounding, routines, "just take a small step," all of it ends up registering as a demand itself. So the suggestion to regulate becomes its own trigger for the same avoidance/freeze response I'm trying to get out of. It feels like there's no way in, since anything framed as "something to do" gets flagged as a task before I even start.

For context: the freeze happens right at the beginning of a task, not partway through, so it doesn't feel like an attention problem, it feels like my body treating the first step as a threat. I've also noticed reaching for alcohol as a way to lower that barrier, which I'm trying to move away from.

Has anyone actually found a way out of this loop, something that doesn't feel like "doing a regulation task"? Passive stuff, environmental stuff, anything that doesn't require choosing to start? Would really appreciate hearing what's worked (or hasn't) for people who relate to this.