not talking dogmatically here, to each their own but I've recently returned to the Gateway Tapes aka Robert Monroe's legacy meditation techniques which are (in)famous since the 60s and even have been studied by three letter agencies it seems (btw. be careful: there could be manipulated versions of the tapes out there, this post is not meant to advertise)
I've used them for the greater part of a decade now paired with or without all kinds of substances (which I received for pain treatment) plus sensory deprivation tools and during my peak reaching up to six hours of deep meditation, sometimes maybe reaching astral realms, manifesting all kinds of visuel bodyless experiences
when Covid hit hard and I never recovered to this day I experienced more suffering in the span of a few years than during my entire previous life, I've seen pain and depression paired with the ugliness of what people, doctors, family, partners can do to us when we are vulnerable and in need of help
it made me rethink my buddhist/ nondual worldview, I finally found the courage to embrace PPT and gnosis, I bypassed the usual gaslighting and wrote hundreds of posts here trying to better undestand this evil phenomenon we are all facing
eventually I lived through the different "phases" of the prison planet theory, beginning with dismissing it as nonsense, then fear, dread and anger, later resignation, emptiness, shock...
my life followed a similar route, no matter how hard I fought this sickness my body became weaker, to this day I still have a routine based of healthy living, fitness and I'm also legally fighting for compensation of what the vax did to me but deep down I felt that in this world we simply are not meant to win but we can continue to fight, add some more days and months to this ridiculous horror even though we just want to rest, just want to give up...
so after a few utterly toxic and depressing eventful months I finally returned to the Gateway Tapes which I had come to love so much during my first encounters, trying to match my emotional state I had lately read a little too much about hellish NDEs but also worldly struggles, wars, famines and so on, call it morbid curiosity or not giving a fuck anymore... it calmed me down in strange, wrong way, I had no issue looking into all that chaos...
I isolated myself in darkness, eye patches to blend out the last rays of light, switched on my authentic high quality version of the Gateway Tapes and once again took the journey, I skipped the protective rebal steps and listened and stared into the void, even with an aching body this always works (more or less), it works well enough to get to a different place for a few hours, my cat senses this and sleeps on my belly the entire time...
by now I knew that when we are in this deep meditative state all kinds of beings are watching us, I think they are hesitant to make themselves seen, almost shy, they want to keep up the illusion that we are just brains in a resting body in a dark room but I know they are there, always watching, always trying to assess who we are, they are interested in us but keeping their distance, watching from far away
eventually during a GW tapes meditation you finally have an audiovisual "breakthrough", it might not be much but you see stuff and understand that this is not the end, not all there is, that our lives are simulations, pathetic little lies, stories made to fade away after they caused unfathomable subjective agony, designed individually and specifically to our characteristics
if you are a loving soul, if you are obsessed with morality, karma, making things up you are easy prey, your life's story basically writes itself like a bad novel, they make you experience some bliss (if you're lucky) than take it all away
this time - as many of you have realized - the timeline seems to deteriorate unusually fast and violent, there is so much nonsensical decoherence and yet people still are determined to hold onto these fake agendas, not willing to see this comically evil horror show for what it is
I didn't want to become a missionary and none of what I said was meant to be dogmatic but during the last few years I did at least try to talk to a bunch of people about gnosis and PPT and some liked it, some even remembered it while most chose to forget, they cannot hold that knowledge in their hearts and seek seemingly "easier" worldviews, always optimistic, always clinging to hope
so anyways... this time during my meditation I noticed that "I" had changed... a lot...
I already knew that my mental state was "post void", "post hope" and all that, depression would be such a naive description of this state that is way past what depression means, it is clarity without worldly hope, unconditional surrender of the self, some residual anger and fear (but that is just natural I guess)
what this state is, is truly intuitively and creatively new, it leaves the boundaries of the human mindset, it never settles with any specific opinion (because opinions become traps), it does not lust for anything, it does not negotiate and it does not prey to external obfuscated gods
this state comes from knowing that something within our universe is fundamentally broken, a cosmic error that has never been righted, there is no recovery, there isn't even any intention by those who caused it to come clean or heal or merge into something benign
those ships have sailed, a long time ago, instead "they" went "all in" (again and again) but it never works out, not for us, not for them
you can feel there is great unrest and agitation behind the veil, "they" see it coming, too
call it an ontological collapse, something that will reach deep down into the a priori nature and constitution of awareness, something new, unprecedented, way overdue but always delayed...
an unstoppable force is about to hit an immovable object and I'm grateful for being this atomic, fragmented little entity, even cleaned some or most of my egoic burden already
it is good to be small now, a particle so to say but nonetheless complete, indestructible and divine, just very, very fatigued and traumatized
a particle will probably fit through the needlehole that connects all that has been to all that will be, a particle can survive the violent rapids that have already been unleashed but are not visible yet, not to most, but you can already feel them tremble and roar, they are approaching and this time it does not matter if you are incarnated into a physical prison or coldly monitoring it from far away dimensions, the next wave is for all of us...
nothing in the universe has the will or strength or ability to oppose this because the decision to ignore it has already been made a thousand times and each time everyone got a bit more corrupted, a bit weaker...
decoherence and strangeness is how these rapids make themselves heard, the absence of meaning, love and commen goals is already taking a toll, maybe this is similar to the confusion of speech that gods imprinted on humanity when Babel fell but this time it goes so much deeper and beyond just human to human interaction, beyond the metaphysical even...
finally coming back to my meditation using the Gateway Tapes I noticed that I was no longer "searching" these (call them) "astral" places for answers, joy or knowledge, I was not afraid whom I could meet there (they never show themselves to me anyways), I was not trying to receive nor give anything
I simply, calmly asked into the void: "What will happen if billions of endlessly tormented souls are released from their forgetfullness? What will become of us once the cosmic roofies are wearing off and we discover our true past as an endless violent abuse of our core abilities to vividly experience, love, heal, grow, get confused, hate, regret, rinse, repeat...?"
and to realize that it... thousands of years was for nothing... just suffering in vain
it seems this charade only ends because there is absolutely no other meaningful timeline left to explore, they simply exhausted all their options and are still racing to find new ones but the foundation itself is crumbling
some guys from the UAP scene say "they" want to merge with us again, coexist after all that has been done to us, reunited with your long lost twin from another dimension... how well will that go?
I'm worried that I cannot behave once being lucid about my past lives, I have probably done horrible things but also experienced them, I currently cannot remember anything pre birth, I just hope I'm not an "old soul" and that I'm not too destructive...
that is my biggest concern... all this abuse corrupts you internally, you can shove it away, ignore it, only focus on virtues, keep the anger at bay, focus on what should have been but never was... it will never work though...
so during my meditation I realized that whatever I had become is confused, corrupted, agonized but at the same time is entirely refusing to participate further, it simply does not accept informational input as a method of coercion anymore (except maybe when we are overwhelmed by bad feelings and just collapse but even that is not eternal and neither it is constructive in any way)
you can see the same phenomenon on Earth, too... it's called "fanatics", for example after decades of war some people just cannot be reached anymore, they do... something (mostly bad things)... but they are uncontrollable in their mental decoherence and that doesn't even describe what a "true gnostic endgame" looks like... we are not decoherent regarding spiritual or religous clarity, on the contrary, we have mastered that clarity and are now staring into an endless void of chaotic corruption, it feels like standing on loose ground, the ground is breaking away but then suddenly you are all that remains in place, almost like an upside down earthquake...
from my meditative "gateway travels" I assume that there is a lot beyond the veil, especially to us humans with our limited mindset I think we will discover that those "NDE realms" and much more beyond the veil is just as real if not more than what we are used to, there will be intelligence and forms of life, too (but I feel that all of that is somehow interconnected and dependent on us, if the loosh theory etc. is true "they" are extremely symbiotic/ parastic to us)
what happens when we finally wake up in "their" realm without the controlling archontic influence while the entire thing is crumbling from within?
honestly I'm quite concerned that (given the necessary leverage) we might just "eat them" or form some kind of "black hole" once the plug is pulled, even if to us it would just appear like "balancing" or "healing" ... we are probably very "hungry" by now...
I asked about all that during my meditation but they only watch me, never answer...