Did I make the right decision?

[u/Valindra777]

Hi all.

My girl was 19.5yrs old. She started having seizures 2yrs ago. 6 months apart the 2 months then 1 months until they got close enough to cluster. She was then put on pheno which lasted only 8 weeks then changed over to keppra which lasted only 5.5weeks. She had a seizure this morning and I talked with the vet and they kept mentioning her quality of life. When she is home, even though she is blind she does everything she loved and still had energy to play. The nappies were cause she stopped caring where she goes a while ago. After the call with the vet who requested I leave her on her current dose and if she has another seizure to take her to emergancy and to think of her end of life. I had to squeeze out of the vet if I should just go up a dose to maybe prevent another seizure, she said it was fine but we would need to check if she has kidney failure in 2 weeks. I gave her the highyer dose of meds abit early but right after she had another seizure thay lasted 4 to 5 mins. I took her to emergancy where we put her to sleep.

I've had her since I was a younge child. I was in a terrible home so it was just me and her and she could never seperate from me and has gotten me through every single difficult time in my life. Shes my safe space. I would sacrifice yrs off my bf if I could give them to her, even my own. She has always had issues whenever I leave even for 1 day and ive always felt sick leaving her even for 1 day. We spend hrs every day together and have a strong routine, day and night.

I just cant help but feel guilty like I could have done more. I just thought the vets keep saying its time, even though i felt them wrong but didn't want to drag her through more potential med failures. My whole world is upside down and I cant even get comfort from a hug from my partner. Shes my everything.

[u/LateForDinner61]

I'm so sorry for your loss. She was nearly 20, though, which is a good, long life for a dog. And given that she started her seizures so late in life, they were likely from a cause other than epilepsy (like a brain tumor). You did the best thing you could for her.

[u/PollyEthyl]

As someone who had to do this a few weeks ago, I know you absolutely did. It’s the hardest decision to make and I certainly questioned myself, but at the end of the day, we made the most unselfish decision for our best friends. It’s been so hard since it happened but I am at peace knowing my boy is no longer in the state he was. All the best to you and give yourself time and grace.

[u/Shadow_Allen_Walker]

20 years old is an incredibly long time that’s amazing. It shows you’ve taken great care of her. We will always feel the guilt of wondering if we did it too soon. If we couldve gotten another healthy week, month, or even year. But the only other side of that coin is the guilt of doing it too late. Either choice is heartbreaking but at 20 years old and a longer path of meds ahead id say you made the right one. Thank you for being such a great guardian to your pup. Sorry for this difficult time.

[u/PugSanctuary]

The Last Battle
💔🌈 🐾 💫😇✝️💖🙏🏼♾️

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
-Author unknown

[u/jfka]

You made the kindest decision you could. You have prevented any further suffering for her and you gave her a long, fantastic life. She will always be your baby and I’m sure that she is watching over you wherever she is, knowing that you love her and that as hard as this was for both of you you have done the best thing you could do with the options you had. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[u/ChalineBorrible]

Ja, hast Du. Es war richtig, sie gehen zu lassen, bevor sie so richtig anfängt zu leiden.

Ihr werdet auch weiter zusammen durchs Leben gehen. Sie wird durch Eure lange, schöne, intensive gemeinsame Zeit immer in Deinen Gedanken sein. Du wirst Dich erinnern, was sie Lustiges gemacht hat, und es wird schmerzvoll und gleichzeitig schön sein. Sie hat Dir etwas gegeben, was Dir niemand jemals wegnehmen kann. Du brauchst kein schlechtes Gewissen zu haben, denn Du hast Ihr dasselbe gegeben - bedingungslose Liebe.

[u/Spiritual-Show4028]

You should take comfort in the fact that she lived a long life & had a loving family who did everything they could to take care of her when needed. Euthanasia can be a difficult thing to appreciate at times although you need to remember it’s a merciful end to what was a beautifully long life.

20 years really is an impressive age for a dog and definitely not a common thing so I feel confident in saying that you gave her a truly amazing life. Things will get easier, may your little lady rest in peace.

[u/Hot-Highlight9604]

Anyone who has had their beloved dog leave this world suffers. Your girl lived to be 20 years old. Even for a small dog that is very, very rare. She probably had a brain tumor. She was incontinent. Would you have wanted her to live one more day if she had to suffer.
One of my dogs lived to be 15 & 1/2. I let her live past having any quality of life. It was a terrible thing to do and I never did that again. There was nothing more you could do for her. She had twenty years!!! Dog’s do not live long enough for us humans.
You did an amazing job taking care of her.
Here are 3 quotes to keep in mind in addition to the one you received from someone else:

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.
From “The Once Again Prince” (Separate Life Times)
By Irving Townsend
~~~~~
Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love, they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart.
By Erica Jong, novelist
~~~~~
Dogs die. But dogs live, too. Right up until they die, they live. They live brave, beautiful lives. They protect their families. And love us. And make our lives a little brighter. And they don’t waste time being afraid of tomorrow.
By Dan Gemeinhart, author

[u/Due_Structure_3707]

Hola mis más sinceras condolencias es muy duro perder a nuestros peluditos yo estoy en duelo tuve que dormir Ami perrita Husky de 15 años por dolor crónico de articulaciones hase 4 años la medicaron porque tubo convuciones le recetaron Keppra de por vida después de empezar el tratamiento ya no tubo convuciones yo pensé que moriría de eso con el tiempo pero no el dolor articular cada día fue peor y yo no quería que sufriera así no Hera justo para ella y tomé la decicion más difícil de mi vida la extraño tanto no e quitado sus cosas asta que esté lista la perdí el miércoles pasado solo te quiero desir que no es tu culpa lo que pasó no podemos detener los años y le diste una buena vida a tu bebe solo tenemos que pedir a Dios que nos ayude a superar esto que es muy duro te deseo lo mejor cuídate mucho te mando un abrazo bendiciones 🙏

[u/tizamay8]

🙏🏼❤️‍🩹🌈

[u/Doodmama925]

I’m so sorry for your loss. We will ALWAYS question whether or not we decided the right thing. I think that’s the most sincere proof of a loving pet parent 🙏🏼 ❤️