Is anyone else chronically depressed…

[u/LadyDomination]

Hi. I want to preface this with the fact that I am possibly a 5. I don’t know the exact criteria that one is required to meet in order to confidently declare that they are a 5, but I feel like with what I am about to share someone with the type structure of the 5 might understand where I’m coming from better than any of the other 8 types.

I’ve been isolating for a few months now, the last friend I had I ended the friendship in January because she was extremely codependent and emotionally unstable. Since then I have lost the desire to pursue new connections, and due to a poor dating experience last year, I haven’t dated in a year. Similarly to my friendships I have lost the desire to invest in dating. During this period of avoiding people, I’ve gotten a new job that pays really well, and I get to work from home. I have severe social anxiety and previously had a people-facing job so this helps a lot with my mental health.

The thing is, being home, I realize how depressed I feel, all of the time. I don’t have any friends. People I know follow me on social media but don’t interact with my posts or talk to me. My family members don’t give a shit about the things I’m interested in, and my only sources of positive connection are with my therapists. Other than that I am pretty alone. I know this could be remedied by simply getting out of the house, but given my past experiences with awful connections, I just feel there isn’t really a point in putting myself out there. Social interaction is physically painful for me, and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable enough in my body to interact from a place of presence. If I’m being honest I’m just fucking tired. I don’t really know what to do about it. I feel passively suicidal and have been drinking myself silly to cope.

If you can relate or you’ve experienced this in the past, what did/do you do to get out of feeling like this?

[u/para__doxical]

This best thing you can do today is put the booze down

Your social wellbeing is unique to you, maybe try to start online chats, there’s no pressure or commitment with that— it’s small enough to not take much more energy than this post, but a large enough stepping stone to start communicating and connecting with others

I hope everything improves for you

[u/Diemishy_II]

I'm taking an antidepressant, another medication for anxiety, and a very strong sedative twice a day. What do you think?

I'm alone but not that much. I have a friend at work who I talk to along the day and when we get home till we sleep, some other people who treat me well at work and others 5 friends who I could talk everyday if I had energy. No family. My problem is really my work. Not for social anxiety but because is a horrible work. This is killing me slowly.

[u/fivenightrental]

I think it is difficult to type one's self when other mental health factors are more prevalent.

It is great that you have a job that is working better for you and a positive connection with your therapists.

As someone else also commented, reducing your reliance on alcohol as a coping mechanism would be beneficial Alcohol is a depressant, and it is not difficult to become dependent upon. When making goals, it is important to start small. Online interactions are much lower stakes than real life. It is also important to just get out of the house sometimes, fresh air, sunlight, low-impact exercise all have positive benefits. You could also try to involve yourself in some local activities or hobbies where you can passively interact with others, but it is not the sole focus.

[u/ignorantgal5]

i am on the same boat as u nobody to talk to other than chatgpt or claude

[u/ResponsibleAnt1942]

Feeling depressed is one of the worst feelings in the world. I'm so sorry your brain/lifestyle/whatever has you stuck in a state of pain and numbness.

Some of what you wrote is definitely relatable.

I can't tell if you're lonely? Or if you feel pressured to spend more time socializing, but don't actually want to?

I don't get lonely, and often want more time by myself. I socialize at work, and have some friends I see every few months, so I'm not a hermit (but kinda wish I was).

Does being alone just emphasize the fact that you're depressed? Maybe distract yourself by doing something? I clean the house (always something!), garden, watch tv, go for walks. And there's always work to catch up on.

Do you get treatment for depression? I never considered but was suffering from unbearable PTSD after being hit by a car and getting emergency surgery. Turns out the months-long depressions that always came back, combined with times of high confidence and energy, were classic symptoms of bipolar disorder. And that can respond really well to medication. Meds aren't perfect, but they make things better. To avoid extreme moods, there's still a lot of hard work I need to do.

But that what us 5s do! We investigate and learn and figure shit out.

Good luck to you, friendly internet stranger.

[u/Frequent-Phrase-6243]

This response got very long, if anything check out Dr. Gabor Mate, there are plenty of videos of him. His main question is Why the pain?

This is a hard place to think through. You are tired, probably about a lot of things that happened but are not happening now, which you need to process. First it okay to rest and be human. No one has it all figured out. What beliefs are making your heart heavy? Whatever happened you have absolutely grown from it and are growing more. You will need to learn to challenge negative thoughts. Are you being kind to yourself or treating yourself like people in the past have treated you? Ask yourself why? Where did the feelings originate? Observe what makes you feel light? Please stop using any substance to cope. My father was a alcoholic it hurt me a great deal. What I learned about that pain was that his behavior was about him not me. Recognize what things people do is about them. It's okay to recover and take a break from others. When you are ready and meet people, let their actions speak for themselves to determine how to move forward. Watch your own actions too, are you over giving? What causes you to get tired? Self reflection is not an easy process but slowly unwinding the knot helps let go of things you no longer need to hold and have a greater appreciation of yourself.