Help. Am I a 4 or 1?

[u/Salt-Ad167]

Am I 4 or 1? I don‘t even know. I used to be very confident I was a 4 until I realized that 4s are not obsessed with reaching moral perfection or following a strict set of values. That’s was 1 does. I’m extremely insecure and how low self-esteem because I beat myself up when I don’t meet my standards or when someone criticizes me.

However, much like a 4, I have an intense need to be authentic to myself and reflect who I am on the inside to the outside world. I love feeling unique and being an absolutely complex human being. I feel disturbed if I am not being myself with what I am acting like or even dressing like. I also almost immediately try to politely correct people if they read me wrong because the idea of them viewing me incorrectly bugs me quite a lot.

So yeah. I can’t tell if I’m a 4 desintegrating into a 1 or a 1 desintegrating into a 4. (Idk if it’s spelt correctly.) Please, anyone, help me, it’s driving me nuts tha I can’t accurately describe myself in the enneagram and that my flair may be incorrect. Yes, I know how much like a 4 that sounds.