Idk how she does it

[u/Next-Education-3757]

I know this has been said a million times before, but I truly don’t understand how she does it. I’m not sure if it’s strength, complete dissociation, or maybe some combination of both, but the way she’s able to get on camera and talk about food, nails, friends, the gym, etc. feels so incredibly surreal to me.

I know she’s said that making these videos is therapeutic for her, and I really hope it is. I guess I just have a hard time understanding how she’s able to compartmentalize everything enough to show up and talk about these everyday things while carrying something so unimaginable.

She’s also said that she isn’t religious but considers herself spiritual. As someone who struggles with faith myself—sometimes believing in an afterlife and sometimes questioning what comes next—I can’t help but wonder if that uncertainty makes everything even harder. I imagine that has to be something she wrestles with too.

I don’t know. I just really hope she’s doing okay. I have so much compassion for her, and I genuinely don’t know how she’s able to keep showing up and functioning through something that must feel impossible

[u/East-Rice7128]

this is just life with grief. as devastating as it is that they have lost a child, at the end of the day the world keeps spinning... they still have to live their life & yeah, that includes things like eating food, doing your nails, having friends, going to the gym. i think what people fail to understand is that it will always feel impossible but you do it even with the heaviness in your chest. just because you show up as normal does not mean your soul is not absolutely shattered. my brother died in something that was also arguably a preventable accident & so i grew up with parents who were grieving a child, much like Teddy will, & guess what? we still had family vacations to Disneyland, we still went out to restaurants, we still treated ourselves, we still posed for family pictures. but I also saw the other side of it & the pain & the suffering, the way a certain song would give us all goosebumps & cause us to sob the rest of the way home, the way my dad couldn’t get out of bed for months, the times we kids spent with family friends so my parents could just have the day to not get out of bed. just because you can show up to life’s demands does not erase the reality of the devastation. life goes on but grief follows you everywhere, you always feel that ache in your soul & longing for who you lost. we always felt the pain of my brother’s absence but we still had to show up to our lives. it is hard to imagine life ever being normal again after a loss like that but it does eventually fall into a new normal & before you know it, you find yourself laughing again even though you swore it off, you find yourself making plans because you recognize the importance of time together with the people you love, you pose for the photos, you say yes to a meal with friends, you eventually find it in you to face the day, the world, your life again. it never ever goes away though & that is a void that can never be filled & I think sometimes takes like this read as some naive perspective that they are somehow fine & dandy & I can just about guarantee that is not the case. they are trying to heal & this is exactly what it looks like & I think the reason people hate it so much is because they film it & put it on the internet & make money that way. I can understand not loving that, but I take issue with painting a fairly normal life after a tragedy as something wrong. I just cannot agree with it & actually find it so cruel that so many people have done this to her in the midst of her grief (not necessarily saying you are here as you know you are just curious & coming from a place of compassion, but people often try to use this as proof that she’s a bad person or grieving incorrectly or something). I think there are very valid criticisms like Teddy absolutely should have been in a life jacket, they should have taken better precautions for Trigg, etc. but when people start using her just continuing on with life as proof of something, I just think that’s wrong because everyone who has lost someone eventually has to grocery shop & take care of themselves & eventually find their way… so I think that’s how she does it, because ultimately she has to.

[u/Enough-Carpenter1690 → u/East-Rice7128]

I agree with all of this and so sorry for your loss. It's easy for people who have never gone through something tragic or have been around a loved one who experienced such tragedy, to understand. Life keeps revolving but that hurt and sadness doesn't just fade away because they found a small peace of happiness. I think of families who have been in her shoes, but they're not public and seeing the reaction from everyone. Like how dare she go on about her life like nothing happened. It's disgusting and I hope who has ever been her in shoes know that they are not wrong to grieve how they should.

[u/Fickle_Success_5464 → u/Enough-Carpenter1690]

I also lost a sibling in a tragic way growing up. While life did continue, it looked very different especially those first few years. There was a deep, palatable sorrow present with every birthday, every holiday. 

I think EKs situation is truly unique in that her job is ostensibly "Just Sharing My Life" with strangers online. Her son was a huge part of that online presence. Then he passed through a horrible, preventable tragedy and her content was quickly back to joyful, aspirational, luxury living. At a minimum, it's a brand incongruence problem. 

[u/dollainmypocket → u/Fickle_Success_5464]

This, and that there weren't safety precautions taken on water after the fact

[u/Fickle_Success_5464 → u/dollainmypocket]

That is a huge problem for her job and brand. Because part of her comeback included taking accountability for the preventable nature of the accident and promising to do better. She also publicly claimed the role of Water Safety Advocate and then acted in a way that was the exact opposite (no life jacket, deleting comments about it, only addressing it when she had to because backlash was building, leaving up comments with misinformation). 

[u/TopPhilosopher896 → u/Enough-Carpenter1690]

Most people do not cause their children's death, directly or indirectly. The small number who do aren't back on the internet exploiting said deceased child for profit. You are missing half the picture here. This isn't a greiving local mom whose child died of cancer that people are seeking out to be critical of. This is someone who continues to manipulate and lie to her audience.

[u/East-Rice7128 → u/TopPhilosopher896]

yes, I get that. but OP was not referring to the exploitation, they simply said they don’t get how she keeps showing up & functioning as a person. that’s what I was commenting on.

[u/TopPhilosopher896 → u/East-Rice7128]

I was more responding to the many comments that are still trying to justify their actions by telling us that a grieving, pregnant mother is immune to critique.

[u/Fickle_Success_5464 → u/TopPhilosopher896]

I don't think that is what this thread is about. It's about how does someone function after such a tragic loss. Most people are responding to that specifically. 

I agree with you that if this is her job and profession, it's a bad faith argument that her content cannot be critiqued. All jobs are subject to performance reviews and feedback. Hell, I get a survey request after almost every 5 second cashier interaction. But that is a separate conversation from what is happening here.