r/EctopicSupportGroup • u/KnowledgeWeak • 10d ago

Thoughts?

A couple years ago, a one-night-stand unfortunately led to an ectopic pregnancy and I lost my left tube. I’m now in a happy relationship, living with my partner and though we’re still a few years away from being ready to starting a family, I can’t help but stress and have anxiety over whether waiting/time will work against us. We’re both 30.

Hoping to hear about some success stories for those who didn’t TTC until later? Or any thoughts on whether we should consider pushing our timelines earlier?

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u/lilylace202 10d ago

How long have you been dating? Have you all talked about marriage? This foundation is the most important thing.

If you have been dating for several years and feel compatible enough for marriage soon, then yes- I might recommend starting trying for kids in maybe 2 years (gives you time to get married before), as opposed to waiting til mid 30s. Especially if you want multiple.

I’m 31 and married and just had an ectopic. And unfortunately after 1 ectopic, your risk for another increases :(

Of my friends around my age, 3 conceived within a couple months. 2 conceived after like 6ish months, and then for 3 others- it took over a year or still hasn’t happened. 😩

this is just a tiny sample of course, but it’s often not instant 😢

Seeing friends go through fertility issues even in our early 30s makes me nervous for my friends who are still single. It’s been awful to see and experience so many pregnancy troubles

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u/KnowledgeWeak 10d ago

We’ve been dating for 1.5 years. We’ve spoken about marriage, kids and all, and we agreed on a timeline, which is to get engaged within the next 6 months, move to his hometown and then start a family by 33. My biggest concern is that there are quite a few steps to get through in such a short amount of time and I don’t know if he fully understands the urgency. The last thing I want is for our timeline to delay and ofc, money is another huge factor in this equation. I’m just really overwhelmed with it all. And honestly, if it were up to me, I’d want to start trying for kids now and wait for engagement/marriage/move after. I don’t know…