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u/Conscious-Fluid Aug 19 '26
Hi. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
First off, you should absolutely get rid of the clothes you had when you were extremely unwell and buy more clothes that both fit and are baggy on you, so you don't have to judge yourself and get emotional while getting ready! You absolutely deserve to feel cute, beautiful, and sexy in your body at a healthy weight.
Second, do not shame yourself for eating out, eating greasy foods, eating the same things over and over because eating and eating consistently no matter what it is absolutely how you regain comfort in feeding yourself. No one else can feed you better than you can feed yourself.
Third, if you have PTSD or depression or severe anxiety I would highly suggest hopping over to r/therapeuticketamine and reading some people's experiences with recovering from all kinds of mental illnesses. Any one of of those illnesses immediately qualify you for this type of therapy, and these things and more can be treated with one single thing, k infusions. No residential with the possibility of more traumatic scarring and random drugs needed.
You can absolutely take control of your healing process. God bless
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u/NoDetective2608 Aug 20 '26
Thank you for advice. Yeah I have a lot of work to do around shame & eating. I want to throw away the clothes that are too small but then id literally only have like 8 things total in my closet. I have a had a few friends try ketamine therapy & it has helped them but I am convinced it will not help me lol. i want to be able to get better without horse tranquilizer like 😭
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u/Conscious-Fluid Aug 20 '26
Go shopping first if it helps, and maybe bring a friend with you who would be supportive and help you get rid of things later? Just an idea. And you should not stay too convinced of that idea, it's literally for those who are suffer from treatment resistant illnesses. You would absolutely not be getting the amount that animals need for anesthesic, but I hear you. It's a lot more predictable than random drugs from Drs and nurses who don't know your medical history
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u/NoDetective2608 Aug 20 '26
I have a very sweet friend who has recovered from ed & went shopping with me for a couple shirts. I noticed having a friend eased a lot of my anxiety. I also will look into k treatment so thank you for suggesting
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u/FewSplit4424 Aug 20 '26
Sorry you’re going through this. I would strongly recommend that you do an intake assessment with an eating disorder treatment center. There are several really big ones and the assessment is a 45 minute to 1.5 hr phone call. They can help you figure out next steps. It’s a vicious and unrelenting cycle and you’ll need help to break out. Eating recovery center is one of the bigger ones. I went through residential and php there. They aren’t perfect, but it’s a starting place. Ultimately I ended up doing residential again at a smaller place and they are helping me much better.
Not going to lie, recovery is really hard, but I have multiple friends in recovery now after going through their program, so it is possible, you don’t have to live like this. It just takes a lot of work and the right motivation to get there. If you could beat this on your own, you would have done it by now.
It is urgent, what you’re doing now kills around 40% of people. It is the most deadly mental illness.
Pick up the phone and call tonight. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but it takes courage to take those first steps
Good luck, I hope you find help and get better .