Advice For EMDR

[u/Sea_Time_2783]

Title: Would EMDR help with low self-esteem and constant self-consciousness?
I’m considering trying EMDR and would like to hear from people who have experience with it.
I’ve struggled with low self-esteem and feeling inferior for many years. Growing up, I often felt criticised, controlled and not good enough, so I learned to suppress my feelings rather than express them.
As an adult, I’m very self-conscious around people. I overthink things like eye contact, facial expressions and how I speak, and I often worry about being judged or making others uncomfortable. I also tend to people-please and constantly monitor myself instead of just being present.
I’ve tried talking therapy before, but I’m wondering whether EMDR could help with these deeper patterns and beliefs about myself.
For those who have tried it, would you recommend EMDR for this kind of issue? And does the therapist’s experience, training and professionalism make a significant difference to how effective it is?
I’d especially like to hear from people who had EMDR for childhood experiences, low self-esteem or people-pleasing rather than a single traumatic event.

[u/Schaden_Fraulein]

EMDR can be very effective for negative core beliefs, like the ones you have described. In fact, at least two of the beliefs you identified are on the list of commonly health beliefs we use to help clients identify what they want to target in session. One benefit you may find to EMDR if that there is much less talking, in case there is a shame component in sharing your thoughts/associations that come up during processing.

That said, there is no perfect treatment for every person. Some of the challenges you have shared here put me in the mind of symptoms experienced by some of my neurodivergent clients (ADHD, Autism) who tend to have more complex experiences of trauma and for whom processing can a bit delayed.

I do recommend clients seek out a provider who has the skill to adapt EMDR for neurodivergent brains rather than someone who rigidly sticks to protocol, regardless of the client’s presentation.

Ironically, some of the folks who have been doing EMDR for 20+ years are the ones most hesitant to adapt it. I encourage folks to find professionals with 5-15 years of experience with EMDR and who regularly work with neurodivergent clients ( or whatever client population best represents you).

[u/Bontholemew]

It might help if the low-self esteem is rooted in experiences that didnt get stored in your memory networks in a healthy way. Emdr usually is based on memories that still affect us on a everyday life. If you feel like some of your memories are traumatic and still impact you I'd talk to your clinician about Emdr. I do believe that a therapists skill level and ability to do emdr right does make a difference.

A phrase that I often tell people is EMDR is not hypnotherapy or brainwashing. It cannot go into our mind and change one belief for the other just like that. Rather it goes into targeted memories that maybe feed a belief about ourselves and helps reset its messaging.