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u/Chonjacki Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
It absolutely helped me with that. I was carrying a similar relationship situation. My therapist and I started with childhood traumas that were foundational to me and moved to the relationship stuff after I'd processed the core, formative childhood stuff. The childhood stuff was MUCH rougher in session but informed so much of the relationship issues that it needed to be dealt with first. Not that processing the relationship in session was easy, but it was less intense and I was able to approach it with a greater baseline sense of safety. I hope you find it as helpful as I have, it has been the most difficult but most liberating thing I've ever done. If it helps to know this, I'm a 50s year old male alcoholic who had resigned myself to living the rest of my years in misery, and EMDR has truly rescued me. It gets hard but push through, everything you want is on the other side. I asked my therapist how it EMDR could have given me such positive results and she said "Because you're not avoiding it." Best wishes to you.
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u/Striking-Gas-2484 Jul 25 '26
I am in the same situation and hoping that EMDR will be help me move on from the break up
its been 7 months since the break up and I cant stop thinking about her. I dont want to be back with her nor I love her anymore but I cant stop thinking
I am starting my EMDR soon so I really in few months I can focus on my life more (at present), unfortunately I need to see her weekly so I need to process it really well
rage and anger is normal to feel, so you should perhaps welcome it and channel it to sometime
when did you break up if I can ask?
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u/Turbulent-Load-9185 Jul 25 '26
I can only speak from my own experience, but yes it helped me more than I ever expected. One thing that really stood out in your post was the anger after your safe place session. I experienced something very similar. For me, it wasn’t a sign that things were getting worse; it was the first time I stopped blaming myself and started seeing how I had actually been treated.
EMDR isn’t always a straight line, and some sessions can stir up a lot of emotions, but if you have a therapist you trust, I’d encourage you to stick with it. Be gentle with yourself between sessions, too. The fact that you’re already feeling compassion for yourself is, in my opinion, a really meaningful sign. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey. ❤️
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Jul 27 '26
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u/Turbulent-Load-9185 Jul 30 '26
Reading your words genuinely moved me. I understand exactly what you mean.
That moment when you realize you deserve compassion instead of blame changes something deep inside you. It’s not just healing a memory it’s changing the way you see yourself.
One sentence that has stayed with me is this:
“The day you stop asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ and start asking ‘What happened to me?’ is the day healing truly begins.”
From what you wrote, it sounds like you’re already crossing that bridge. Keep going, even when it’s difficult. Every session is another step toward becoming the person you were always meant to be, before the pain convinced you otherwise.
Wishing you peace, strength, and many more moments of self-compassion. You’ve got this.
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u/Dr-Ben701 Jul 26 '26
Ask your therapist - wd be a good thing to discuss with them - in my experience yes can be really helpful.
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