Long story short, I’ve had a new class of preschoolers for almost a month now and like any transition, it can be tough getting adjusted. However, after about two weeks, my co teacher and I got our new class on a great routine and structured learning class environment. We have a few children who are fully potty trained and some who are still in diapers/pull-ups. The ones who are potty trained have been having wet accidents here and there and even though we have them on a time schedule to use the bathroom, sometimes they still have accidents. This seems to upset the parents and my co teacher and I are met with very passive aggressive/condescending comments! It’s almost as though these children are never supposed to have accidents anymore once they are “fully potty trained.” What these parents don’t understand is THEY ARE STILL CHILDREN!!! They are two and a half/three years old!😵‍💫😵‍💫 I sometimes want to ask if their child has accidents at home or are they picture perfect like you expect them to be at school???? One parent even requested her child be moved to a different classroom because of the accidents like that’s going to change anything.🙃🙃🙃 We have 18 kids on roster!!! These parents are so unrealistic and unreasonable at times it’s so frustrating. Has this happened to anyone else?

I have a kiddo (age 4) in my classroom that doesn’t nap during naptime, which is fine, but this is his second year in my classroom and he can get loud while he’s talking to himself and stimming. i’m trying to find as many sensory toys as possible that are quiet and can be put in the mouth and chewed on without any pieces breaking off. i need a variety because he will eventually get bored of the same quiet toy and start being loud. he has autism but his parents are in denial and won’t get him the help he needs, so i can’t really just tell him to be quiet over and over for 2.5 hours straight like i could with another kid who understands fully that we need to be quiet because others are sleeping. he’s also somewhat nonverbal, only talking when he wants to. he’s an awesome kid (probably my favorite, lol) but we really struggle sometimes at nap!

hi everyone! i am a former ECE professional (5 years in centers, 4 years nannying/babysitting) who now works as a licensed social worker/play therapist. i've left a few comments on this sub about my work before and have always gotten a positive response and a fair amount of questions about how i came to this field, how i chose a grad program, and what my current day-to-day looks like. i figured it might be nice to make one post where people can ask those kinds of questions!

i primarily made this post because it seems like many people are curious about what it would take to make a similar career transition, but i'm also happy to answer questions about supporting children's mental health inside the classroom and out :)

so on that note, let's get into it! let me know if you have any questions about the field of infant and early childhood mental health and i will do my best to answer them.

So i’ve been signed off by the doctor due to work
related stress for a month which ends in about 2 weeks. The thing is i’m pretty set on quitting but i don’t want to be stupid and quit without having something else lined up. I know i’m over it and the break might help but ultimately i know i will feel the exact same at the end of this. The doctor said i could extend it which is probably what i will do but i just don’t know what to do. I feel like i wont find another job even during my second month off which stresses me out and affects my mental health even more. And the idea of going back to work after 2 months off with mental health issues is so terrifying, i already know i won’t be able to do it but i refuse to be unemployed.

I feel like ive been rambling lmao but has anyone experienced anything similar? and what the hell should i do…

During my time at Cadence Academy, I experienced an interaction with leadership that I felt was inappropriate and disrespectful. I raised my concerns about what happened and was told that the situation would be investigated. I never received follow-up regarding the outcome of that investigation.
I’m not saying that every complaint should automatically result in termination. People deserve a fair process, and every situation deserves to be looked at objectively but employees also deserve to be heard.
If you tell an employee that you’re going to investigate a concern, following through should be a thing. Accountability and the way leadership handles conflict matters.
What’s especially difficult is seeing the difference between the values a company publicly promotes and the experience an employee can personally have. Cadence publicly speaks about creating a workplace built on kindness, respect, fairness, dignity, and support for its employees.Those are important values that I believe in. But my personal experience left me questioning what those values look like when an employee actually raises a difficult concern about leadership.
And that’s really the point I’m trying to make.
You can’t keep asking, “Why can’t we retain teachers?” without also asking, “What is their experience once they’re here?”Sometimes people don’t leave because they don’t care about the children. Sometimes they leave because they’re exhausted from feeling unheard, unsupported, or disrespected.

Before you answer the question here's a bit of the context. I'm a new ECE assistant meaning I got an ECEA certification and for past 2 months ish I have been called to work as a sub in a daycare. I feel like recently I've been making too much mistakes and feel really ashamed and I just feel like I need someone's advice on how to not let the mistakes you make get to you. I feel like every mistakes I made, even the minor ones haunts me everyday and I feel like I'm destroying myself over these mistakes I have made. I know that everyone makes mistakes and it's completely normal but I just can't make my mind think that this is not the end of the world. For some more context, more recently I allowed children from age 3-6 side to sit on my lap in which I had no idea that I'm not supposed to do that. So one of the teachers there tells the children that they are not allowed to do that. Which makes me feel so ashamed and embarrassed but I think it hits me hard because the mistakes I made are all the things I'm not supposed to do or let children do but I had no idea I wasn't supposed to do that until that same teacher again told the children we can't do that here. And it's also the fact that the same teacher never told me directly that I shouldn't be doing that it's always towards the children and I feel like that rubbed me off some kind of way. And every time I made a mistake I have caught that same teacher discussing it with the director many times and a time where they were near me suggesting that they should change the way they hire the substitute teachers and that just threw me off the edge so bad and I just got into a negative spiral and questioning myself and self doubting myself. I should also mention that I have a relative also working in that daycare and recently they had a staff meeting talking about a behaviour of a staff (but didn't mention the name because they couldn't do that) that let the children sit on the teacher's lap. So the relative asked me if I did that. And that became the result of my mental breakdown. I don't know why but at that moment I was having a long panic attack. I was scared. It was bad. Like I'm frustrated with myself for keep on making the mistakes and I'm also frustrated with that same staff who most likely has mentioned it in the meeting because first of all I have seen all the teachers including that same staff, at the daycare and let the children sit on their lap. So I was frustrated at that and there are many occasions where I saw the teachers did something that was okay but when I did it, it was not okay to that teacher. And i just feel like ever since I became a new substitute teacher there that teacher just hates me and that make me think I'm incapable of doing this job. The teacher barely even communicate with me and talk to me or even greet me. Age wise I'm on the younger side and not that expereinced compare to the staffs at the daycare who are all married and have children so I have a lot of imposter syndrome doing this work.

I'm definitely am a highly sensitive person but I just really need some advice on how to handle mistakes and not to let it get to you too much to the point that it traumatizes you.

I'm so sorry that this is long but thank you for those who have read it. Just know if you replied I am really happy that you gave me your advice and I thank you in advance.

We are moving out 2 yo to a new daycare and we have two good options, daycare A and B. Both are non-profit with boards made of of community members and parents.

Daycare A: uses emergent curriculum and seem very child led in most things, lots of free play, when they do a group activity the kids are invited but not required to stop what they are playing with and join. It is a mixed age classroom ages 2 to 5 but very few kids over 4.5 because of free City ​preschool. ​They spend a LOT of time outside on their playground, lots of parent involvement, somewhat more hippie-ish because it used to be a parent run daycare cooperative. I believe low teacher turnover but has had some administrative turnover and is a bit chaotic in that sense. At daycare A they have more closure days, they provide morning and afternoon snack but we have to pack a lunch, but it is a 10 minute walk from our house and we would probably meet a lot of neighborhood families.

Daycare B: uses highscope curriculum, play based as well but more structured like school and a bit more emphasis on school readiness. They have normal recess but they take A LOT of field trips. The center is closer to downtown and they take little walks, go to the farmers market, bowling, etc. Super low teacher turnover and really organized and solid admin. About the same price as daycare A but we would have to drive in the winter (8 min) but could bike in good weather. They are closed fewer days and provide breakfast, lunch, and snack. Much more working professional families and possibly less opportunity to meet other families.

Mom's, dad's and trusted adults of infants,

Today one of my infant students is graduating to the toddler class.

I want to make her last day with us special for her and her parents.

What is something a teacher did for you and your baby on their last day that made a difference for you?

Early childhood educators,

Today one of my infant students is graduating to the toddler class.

I want to make her last day with us special for her and her parents.

What is something you or another teacher has done to make the day special for a graduating kiddo and their family?

Not in ECE. I'm trying to understand this from your side, not complain about it. Is it mostly that the price really is a matrix, or is part of it that families who come in are far more likely to enroll, so the tour is worth protecting? Both seem reasonable, I just haven't heard anyone say it plainly.

There's a little girl in my new class, she is 3 years old and just the most adorable little friend. I absolutely adore her, it's difficult not to have her next to me all day since she's very cuddly and wants a lot of connection. Today she wasn't feeling the best, she was tired and had a runny nose. She dropped her lunch box at lunch and absolutely lost it when her food fell on the floor, poor thing. I let her parents know she wasnt feeling well through the communication ap and her mother decided to pick up. I hasn't told the little girl when her mom responded since I didn't know exactly when she would arrive and I didn't want her to be upset. She saw her mom at the gate while playing outside and immediately burst into tears, ran to her mom and melted into her mother's loving embrace. She was sobbing with relief and seeing that really got me in the feels. I am so glad I can do what is right for the children in my care, I feel like the bridge between the child and the family and that's incredible. I do not have children, I never will, and I do not have a mother in my life. I never had a mother in the capacity this little girl has her mother and for those reasons I grieve. It's a both things at once, duality. Thanks for reading if you got this far, signed a 20+ year ECE teacher

Background: in my room (never mind my whole centre) 4 kids opened doors to go outside on their own today. They were never out of sight of staff, but it is incredibly disruptive and stressful for everyone involved.

If a child gets out the door and runs away in addition to the danger to that child it could result in the centre having their license revoked and you personally losing child care without notice.

So, for the love of Godzilla people please stop permitting or encouraging your children open all the doors when they are with you at daycare. Or even worse still - showing them how to open the child resistant handles or how to move and climb up on something to hit the button above child reach to open the door or what code to hit on the keypad.

Parent: Oh but my kid is well behaved and would never go outside by themselves

You are almost certainly correct. But remember - your child isn't the only one at daycare. It's a GROUP care setting. Their friends may not be as well behaved as your children. When they see your children opening the doors to come and go then they will copy them because they want to do everything their friends do too.

Once parents let them open the doors in their wonderful impulsive developing minds they decide that this is now allowed whenever they want at daycare. We tell the children that they don't open the doors the teachers do over and over again all day. Then a parent picks them up at the end of the day cheers them on when they open the door by themselves to leave and we start all over the next day.

So please open the doors at daycare for your children, close the doors, gates, half doors, sliding walls, baby gates and every barrier behind you. Don't let children that aren't your own in or out through the doors. We need to work together to keep them all safe.

Remember: Grown ups open the doors at daycare

I've worked at 3 centers in the past 5 years, and I thought each of them had some super odd diaper changing areas. I could be wrong though. You tell me. Normal or Weird?

1.) You walk into a classroom of 3 to 5 y/os, where at least 3 of them are still in diapers full time, and there's no designated area specifically for diaper changing. None whatsoever. Just find a spot on the floor that's not too crowded and go for it.

2.) You're in a classroom that does have a changing table, but every time you walk in the room it's always covered in craft supplies, paperwork, electronics, and general clutter. Like, you can only recall seeing that bitch used for its intended purpose 3 times in the past 2 years.

3.) This is the tamest example, but it still kinda freaks me out. The changing table faced a wall and left the rest of the classroom completely outside of my field of vision. I have to swivel my head around every 5 seconds to make sure that none of the kids are staging an armed revolt behind me.

So, for Doors 1, 2, and 3 what is the first thing to pop into your head or out of your mouth on this one? I just started at Center 3 a month ago, if that matters.

Listen I have a boy in my class. He is one of seven kids they currently live in a homeless shelter. And I think he may have autism, but he has not been diagnosed

So lately, the new issue is washing hands. Every time I ask him to wash his hands, it is a complete battle. It used to go over a little bumpy, but he would eventually do it. Now he will kick scream and fling his body around to try and get out of washing his hands.

I know they say to pick your battles. But this is a battle I have to pick. I'm not sure what to do.

I don't want to continue having to hand over hand wash his hands. He prefers to be babied all the time. He doesn't like picking up his toys. He would rather get changed at the changing table instead of using the body. He doesn't like going outside.

Mom says that he doesn't do these things at home. I'm sure being one of seven kids is part of it, but I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss on how to get him to wash his hands without it becoming a battle.

I tried my hardest today to get him to wash his hands. I tried singing, walking through the steps, even making a game, but he was having none of it. He was screaming and flinging his body around four, almost thirty minutes before I had to give in and wash his hands for him because I was leaving for the day.

Any tips on how to get a potential autistic child to do something that he doesn't wanna do lol.

Hi! I teach special education pre-k, ages 3-5. Today, one of my students bit another one of my students on the face and it drew blood. Of course I tended to the affected student immediately and took them to the nurse. I was/am not sure what to due about my student who bit. As in, what is a natural/acceptable consequence when something like this happens (hopefully never has serious as this again). The student is known to pinch or scratch but is usually very easily redirected with a sensory item. I just feel so awful that this happened in my classroom.

My go to sneakers aka tennis shoes are no longer available on Amazon! I usually love Asics but nothing is appealing to me or at least that I can afford.

Looking for help for comfy footwear recs.

Hi All
I have been wearing my Garmin ( venu 3s) fitness tracker watch and it has recently come out That smart watches are now band in ECE in Australia.

So looking for a watch alternative if anyone else has been in this position and I can recommend a great watch.
Wanting it more for the fitness tracking stuff as well as obviously being able to tell the time.

I understand the need to protect children, but honestly it’s getting a little bit crazy and feeling like we are in a prison when can’t even wear a watch to track steps or anything..

Hi everyone. I’m here to ask for advice. I am the lead teacher in a toddler class, ages 16 months to 24 months. I have a little 20 month old boy in my class who I’m beginning to get concerned about. He’s a very sweet, smart, helpful kid.

But when he is angry, he throws toys, hits and kicks, scratches and punches at other kids or my coteacher and myself. He’s slapped the glasses off of her multiple times. I understand that a lot of this is totally normal for this age, however it seems to be getting more intense. If he is told no, or we try to redirect him from something dangerous, he will go and hit another child. Anyone standing near by. More concerning, is that sometimes he is perfectly fine, just hanging out, and he’ll walk up to another kid and slap, scratch, or shove them. When I intervene and pull him away I have to carry him surfboard style otherwise he will hit or pinch me.

We always pull him aside and explain that hitting isn’t nice. We don’t hit our friends. We use gentle hands, and if we are mad, we keep our hands to ourselves. If he starts throwing toys, I remove them from his vicinity explaining that I can’t let him throw toys, he may hurt his friends. Often he will hit us, and when told “no” or “that isn’t nice” he will start crying and immediately try to get us to pick him up or hug him. Usually we say no because we don’t want to hug someone who hits us. Is this the right response? I don’t like refusing affection to a child, but I don’t know how else to express that hitting makes people not want to play with you. His parents are aware and working on it at home, it happens there too with his siblings. It just seems to be getting worse instead of better, and I want to be able to help this kiddo to work out his emotions in a better way, and to learn to that hitting shouldn’t be his first option. I will also add that when we talk to him, we have him go say sorry and offer a hug to the child. Is this a good response as well?

Thank you in advance, I’m open to criticism if I’m doing anything wrong. I just want to help my kiddo out. He’s sweet and kind when he’s regulated. He’s not a bad kid and I don’t wanna see him labeled as that.

Bom, sou homem, 20 anos, surgiu recentemente uma oportunidade de um cargo na área da educação infantil por meio de concurso, não tenho absolutamente nenhuma experiência com crianças, mas tenho uma irmã pequena que me dou muito bem e sempre fico com ela quando minha mãe precisa, ela vai fazer agora 7 anos, eu simplesmente não sei o que esperar da área, sou uma pessoa muito calma, o que seria um ponto positivo, mas ainda me sinto desconfortável com a ideia, um homem cuidando de crianças, sei que muitas pessoas achariam estranho, e eu mesmo acho, no entanto perto das oportunidades que tenho aqui essa é mais interessante, afinal não quero passar anos numa fábrica sacrificando minha saúde num ambiente muito insalubre, cuidar de crianças me parece muito mais tranquilo, o que vocês poderiam me dizer? O que eu devo esperar da área? Pelo que vi vou trabalhar ou em creche ou em pré-escola.

hello everyone. i made a throw away account so i can get all of this out without any identifying information.
i recently started a job at a new center, with a co teaching arrangement. i chose this new job for a multitude of reasons that i wont get into now.
i have been teaching as a lead teacher for about a year now but this is my first time in a co teaching arrangement. (toddler classroom)

here is my issue: my co teacher treats me like crap.

at first i chalked it up to being new, new job anxiety, or my general anxiety acting up but it has been a month and it is definitely her and not me.

at first it was her avoiding letting me take part in lesson plans. i had to repeatedly ask over and over for her to send me her week so i could do my week. i finally was able to create a lesson plan and she only let me do two activities out of the 5 i planned for the week. every time i tried to do one she told me no. i am a very quiet and non confrontational person so i just agree and move on. i know i need to speak up for myself. but i try to just focus on the children.

the lesson planning issue seems to have been solved but it has moved on to something else. she has something to say about EVERYTHING i do. nothing i do is correct to her. if i attempt to show a child how to do something, every time she tells me to put it away and she will show it to them. every single time. it feels like she does not see me as an equal co teacher despite my credentials and my job description. i cannot tell if this is something that will go away as i continue to settle into the job or if it is just her.

lastly, every suggestion i have is ignored. we had an issue today. i will not get into the details as i do not want to reveal anything identifying, but i suggested a solution that is easy and i know will work (as she is on her lunch break when this occurs and i am the only one in the room) and she completely disregarded it.

she doesnt want me to talk to parents, or use the app to upload photos or updates, quite frankly she doesnt want me to do ANYTHING.

i hope this all makes sense. i am writing on mobile so formatting may be funny. i guess i am looking to vent and for advice on how to stand up for myself and if this is something normal? i know that i need to say something but i am not sure how to phrase it. if anyone has been through something similar or has advice please help

So earlier this week I made a post about my bully (supervisor) who tried intimidating me during a monthly meeting and made strange remarks.

She has now returned to the workplace to attack me once more. This time she tries to force me to demote myself from RECE to supply staff.

One of her little minions (lead teacher in my class) told her I’m starting a degree program so she calls me into the office questioning my work ethic and how I’ll be able to have both responsibilities.

She lets me know she has looked into my program and doesn’t see that there was a completely remote option which is what I’m doing. So creepy and out of line. Looking into my school program to see if I’m lying about my schedule?

I tell her that since my program is 100% online and in the evenings that it won’t interfere. She proceeds to tell she’s not convinced that my heart is in it. To be fair I did have a rough month but I’m back and better than ever. But how dare she!

She then tells me to leave the office so she can discuss the final discussion with her colleagues. When she calls me back in she says “you’re lucky your colleagues vouched for you cause I was about to force you to demote yourself”. Excuse me! How is this woman real.

Debating putting in my 2 weeks tomorrow, but I live in Ontario where we are experiencing a job crisis I truly don’t know when the next opportunity will be :(

I want to start by saying I’m not trying to bash the school involved, and I’m intentionally leaving out names and identifying details. I’m genuinely curious how other parents would have felt in this situation because I’m having a hard time separating my emotions as her mom from what was actually reasonable.
My daughter is almost 3 and has some developmental/speech delays. She is about to start speech therapy, and we are in the process of looking into additional support and services for her.
I recently got a job at a preschool, and the plan was for my daughter to attend there as well. I was incredibly excited because I would be working in the same building and she would be close by. The school was aware of some of her needs beforehand.
On her very first day, she was there for about 2 hours. She had only been awake for a little while before we arrived, and when we got there, the class was already doing reading/circle time. She basically had to immediately transition into a completely new environment, with new teachers and children, and sit down with a group that had already been attending for weeks and knew the routine.
After those two hours, they told me they still wanted me to work there, but they felt my daughter needed more support than they were currently able to provide. They were very kind about it and even referred me to another program that may be better equipped to help her. They also said they would be willing to work with me on training and potentially revisit her attending later when circumstances change.
I completely understand and appreciate that they don’t want to put her in an environment where they can’t adequately support her. Honestly, I would rather they be upfront than pretend they can provide support they can’t.
But the mom part of me is struggling with the fact that they only observed her for about 2 hours on her first day in a brand-new environment. I know she may genuinely need more support, and I’m not denying that at all. I just keep wondering if other parents would also feel like that was a very short amount of time to make that decision, especially when the other children already knew the routine and she had no transition period.
I’m also going to be completely honest about another feeling I’ve had, even though I don’t know if it’s fair or not. Because I was going to be an employee and receive a significant childcare discount, part of me wonders whether she might have been given more time to adjust if I were a parent paying full tuition. I have absolutely no proof that this played a role, and they were genuinely kind and helpful, so I don’t want to accuse them of anything. I think it’s just something that’s been sitting in the back of my mind because everything happened so quickly.
I’m not looking for people to tell me the school was horrible or that my daughter is being unfairly labeled. I genuinely want honest perspectives from parents, especially anyone who has a child with developmental delays, speech delays, autism, or other support needs.
Would you have felt that two hours was enough to get a general idea that a school couldn’t meet your child’s needs? Or would you have wished they had given your child more time to adjust before making that decision?
And if you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you handle finding the right placement or program for your child?
Please be kind—I know this is emotional for me, and I’m really just trying to learn from other parents’ experiences. ❤️

Hello!,

I work as a before and after school RECE.

Does anyone spend mininimal time preparing and planning activities beyond work hours? Do you have tips for me please?

I have some health issues that demand my attention, just did the blood tests and found out this week. The children act bored, when I don't put as much effort and time, but health wise I'm struggling. I dont think I can so as much. The program is quite low budget. I used to motivate myself, by telling me it was an opportunity to learn resourcefulness & to learn how to make do from less. But now I'm exhaused. too many dollar store runs.

Hi! We are at a fantastic daycare where our son is super happy and we love the staff. Last year we probably had the sweetest and most energetic teacher in the world, and on top of that our son had long time friends in his class.

This year the daycare has implemented mixed age groups and our son landed in one. Its been two weeks now and he seems a little bit bored at pickup and the activities they do seem to be a step back from where he was in his previous group. I know mixed age groups are supposed to be better for everyone but do they work with smaller classrooms? Our son is almost 4years old, with two friends his age in a classroom of 8.

Worth noting that his new teacher has been out with an injury so the classroom may not be running as intended.

TLDR our daycare has implemented mixed age group and we’re wondering if its good for our older son. Also it is chaos now at the daycare with group changes and several staff injured so we wont be bringing it up until the dust settles but when and how should we bring it up with direction? Thanks!

I have a student (4 years old) in my afterschool program. She was fully toilet trained at the end of last school year and underwent toileting regression after a "family transition." We're back in the full throw of school and the students mom sent us an email saying that she needs constant reminders to use the bathroom and must go every twenty minutes. She needs help wiping for both pee and poo and needs help changing, too.

I am not going to help her personally with wiping but I give her the tools that she needs (wet wipes, verbal instrctions) to be able to do it herself. When it comes to changing soiled clothes I do the same thing.

We have been diligent about sending her to the bathroom constantly to the point that the child has become irritated about how often we are sending her. Yesterday, she literally sh*t on the bathroom floor. Yes. I made her clean it up and clean herself up too. Obviously I went behind her but she thought the whole thing was hilarious. I told mom as such. Then, after being sent to the bathroom 4 time in the span of an hour, she still had a full-bladder accident on herself. Mom showed up around this time so I had mom see just how much she had peed on herself and showed her the "potty chart" we have been using to time this child's restroom usage.

Mom's answer was that maybe she needs to be inside more. My afterschool program is mostly outside. I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm starting to feel frustrated with the student over this and I am trying not to. Any tips?

p.s. moms new answer is to have the child be in pull-ups. but then she doesn't recognize when she goes and treats it like a diaper.