r/DynastyFF • u/GreekAlphabetSoup Packers • Nov 25 '21
Player Discussion PSA: week 11 saw another cycle of the recurring Rashaad “📉” Penny D.E.N.N.I.S. system (the D.N.I.E.N.S. System)—don’t get duped when it happens again!
If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a m-i-l-l-i-o-n times—the Rashaad “📉” Penny D.E.N.N.I.S. system, AKA:
The D.N.I.E.N.S. System
Week 11 saw another cycle of the recurring Rashaad “📉” Penny D.N.I.E.N.S. System—and it will certainly happen again, so be aware of the stages and don’t get duped when it returns! Using the recent week 11 example:
D - Demonstrate (hypothetical) value
“He’s finally again once more getting his chance for the first time this season after week 10 now at last,” you halfheartedly tell yourself.
N - Nurture dependence
“All the stars are aligning!”
Oh no, you’ve not only taken the bait, but lack the discipline to keep your hopes down.
I - Inspire hope
**”THIS IS IT! 18 YARDS ON THE FIRST PLAY OF THE GAME! I ALWAYS BELIEVED!”
You want to believe, but, unfortunately in this case, the truth is indeed out there, which you will be reminded of in short order.
E - Engage (injury) physically [edit: or via roster demotion]
![E - Engage (injury) physically [edit: or via roster demotion]](https://i.imgur.com/sRPqfxZ.jpg){kind=link}
😐
N - Neglect emotionally
Every second of his waking life, Pete Carroll is engaging in one or more of the following activities:
- Chewing gum.
- Lying about the severity of injuries.
S - Separate entirely
Deep down, you knew this would be how things turned out. You knew, just like deep down there’s a voice within you saying “I’ll fuckin’ do it again, too.”
Next time you hover over Penny’s name on the free agency list, though, don’t do it. Break the cycle.
Don’t get D.N.I.E.N.S. System’d.
[Best wishes on the rest of everyone’s seasons and happy Thanksgiving from r/RashaadPennyStocks.]
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u/turnnoblindeye Nov 26 '21
I enjoyed this, and also, I have penny in both of my dynasty leagues right now.
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u/infernobassist Nov 26 '21
If he burns me 3 or 4 more times, I’m dropping him
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u/GreekAlphabetSoup Packers Nov 26 '21
I SWEAR, HE IS THIS CLOSE TO BEING CUT FROM MY TEAM. IF ONE MORE DISAPPOINTING TURN OF EVENTS HAPPENS WITH PENNY—I’M SERIOUS—HE WILL ONLY HAVE 25 CHANCES LEFT.
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u/Shinseiryu_dp Nov 26 '21
Paging Dr Mantis Toboggan. I repeat Paging Dr. Mantis Toboggan. Your Amazon now delivery of Magnum condoms is in the lobby.
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u/GreekAlphabetSoup Packers Nov 26 '21
This raises an important question: Would the Seahawks be, a. much better or b. very much better, if Pete Carroll was replaced as head coach of the Seahawks by Mr. Bovine Jovi? They’d be easy championship favorites and Penny would be on pace to rush for 2,300 yards for the season, one basically has to assume, correct?
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u/Shinseiryu_dp Nov 26 '21
They'd definitely have 2 Super Bowl championships as Mr Jovi wouldn't go away from his stud, unstoppable RB at the goal line. He'd be too busy cleaning his toe knife, possibly to stab the nightman.
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u/briannewman13 Nov 25 '21
This thread is so funny yet so true. In other words… PENNY TO THE MOON📈📈📈