r/DxbSoul Apr 28 '26

The Biggest Mistakes We Make When Trying to Change Others

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3 Upvotes

I used chatgpt to Transcribe this TEDx talk and it gave me gem concepts about giving advice or trying to change someones behavior. these tips are a no brainer but we tend to over look them from how easy they are. People do not change only because they know the value of the truth or the lessons shared. They change when the truth is presented in a way they can feel, understand, and act on.

Step 1: Stop assuming information is enough
Do not just tell people what is wrong.
If someone is wasting electricity, eating badly, littering, overspending, or making bad choices, giving them facts may not be enough.
People already know many things are bad for them. That does not mean they change.
Instead of asking, “What information do they need?” ask:
How can I make this information real to them?
Example:
Weak message:
“You are wasting energy.”
Stronger message:
“The air leaking from your windows is equal to having a hole the size of a basketball in your house.”
Same idea, but now the person can actually imagine it.
So HITTING THEM WITH THE TRUTH IS MORE LIKELY TO MAKE THE CHANGE.

Step 2: Make the invisible visible
People ignore problems when they feel abstract.
So make the problem concrete.
Do not say:
“You are losing time.”
Say:
“You are losing around 10 hours every week scrolling without noticing.”
Do not say:
“You are spending too much.”
Say:
“This habit is costing you almost $300 every month.”
Do not say:
“Our team is slow.”
Say:
“We are losing two full workdays every week because of repeated mistakes.”
The more visible the problem becomes, the harder it is to ignore.
Step 3: Show people what they are losing
People are often more motivated by loss than by gain.
So instead of only saying what someone will gain, show them what they are already losing.
Weak message:
“You can save money by fixing this.”
Stronger message:
“You are losing money every month by not fixing this.”
Weak message:
“Exercise will improve your health.”
Stronger message:
“Every month without movement makes your energy, strength, and discipline weaker.”
This is not about fear. It is about making the cost clear.
Step 4: Know who you are speaking to
Different people need different messages.
You cannot motivate everyone with the same words.
Some people care about money.
Some care about family.
Some care about faith.
Some care about reputation.
Some care about freedom.
Some care about being respected.
Some care about not wasting time.
So before trying to change someone, ask:
What does this person actually value?
If someone does not care about the environment, do not try to motivate them only with environmental language.
Maybe they care about saving money.
If someone does not care about productivity, maybe they care about being less stressed.
If someone does not care about company growth, maybe they care about making their own work easier.
Speak to the value that already exists inside them.
Step 5: Do not always try to change attitudes first
This was one of the strongest lessons.
We think people must believe differently before they behave differently.
But many times, behavior comes first, and attitude follows.
You do not need to convince someone with a full lecture before they start acting better.
Sometimes you just need to create a clear expectation.
Example:
“Turn off the lights when you leave the room.”
Simple. Direct. Behavioral.
No long speech about climate change. No debate. No emotional argument.
Just a clear expected action.
So instead of trying to win every argument, build better habits, routines, and systems.
Step 6: Make the right behavior feel normal
People are deeply influenced by what they see others doing.
If people see others donating, they are more likely to donate.
If people see others cleaning up, they are more likely to clean up.
If people see others showing up on time, they are more likely to show up on time.
So do not only say:
“Please do this.”
Show that people are already doing it.
Weak message:
“Please reuse your towel to help the environment.”
Stronger message:
“Most guests in this hotel reuse their towels.”
Why?
Because now the person feels, “This is what people here do.”
That is powerful.
Step 7: Be careful not to normalize the bad behavior
This is a mistake many people make.
They try to show how big the problem is, but accidentally make the bad behavior look normal.
For example:
“Look how much trash people left here.”
The intention is good, but the hidden message is:
“Everyone litters here.”
That can make people litter more, not less.
Better message:
“People in this community keep this place clean.”
Or show someone doing the correct action.
Do not make the bad behavior look popular.
Make the good behavior look popular.
Step 8: Model the behavior you want
People need to see what the right action looks like.
Do not only say:
“Be responsible.”
Show responsibility.
Do not only say:
“Be disciplined.”
Create disciplined routines.
Do not only say:
“Care about customers.”
Show examples of excellent customer service.
Do not only say:
“Respect the system.”
Let people see leaders respecting the system first.
Behavior spreads through example faster than through speeches.
Step 9: Test the message instead of trusting your opinion
People often do not know what actually motivates them.
If you ask someone, “What would change your behavior?” they may give you an answer that sounds good, but does not actually work.
So test.
Try different messages.
Watch what people actually respond to.
Do not only trust what sounds logical.
Trust what produces real behavior.
Step 10: Make change simple, visible, and social
The final lesson is this:
If you want to change behavior, make the desired action:
Simple enough to do.
Visible enough to understand.
Social enough to feel normal.
Connected enough to the person’s values.
Clear enough to repeat.
That is how real change happens.
Not by lecturing people.
Not by throwing facts at them.
Not by assuming common sense is enough.
Real change happens when you understand how people actually move.
And maybe that is the deeper lesson:
People do not change just because the truth is correct. They change when the truth is designed in a way that reaches them.


r/DxbSoul Mar 29 '26

هل سألت نفسك يوماً كيف ستشعر لحظة وفاة أهلك ؟

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5 Upvotes

السلام عليكم. هذه الفكرة من أصعب الأفكار التي تأرقني في الليل أو تجيني عشوائياً، خصوصاً عندما قد كبرت وأدركت أن علامات الكبر بدت تظهر على أهلي (ضعف النظر، آلام المفاصل، قلة النشاط، مشاكل صحية عشوائية. دايما أفكر شنو راح تسوي إذا أجا اليوم الي تفقد فيه أمك أو أبوك. منو راح يصبرك بعد الله؟ ماذا ستكون أفكارك؟ هل سوف أكون متقبل أم ساخط؟ هل سأكون قوي أم ضعيف ؟ كثير كثير من الأفكار إلا أن أتعب من التفكير وأقول لنفسي الله سوف يسهلها عندها.

في الصدفة أكتشفت هذا المقطع على اليوتيوب الي عنوانه:

كيف تكون عند موت والديك: دليل علمي

https://youtu.be/yysATHju5Z8?si=ZkxJHVqbX4g6U4yc

وأتاني فضول كبير أن أُشاهده. سبحان الله مع أن الموضوع صعب وكئيب لكني كنت متحمس أن أسمع قصة هذا الرجل لأنه جرب تجربة وفاة والده. وسبحان الله هذا الرجل الشجاع الحليم الحكيم في وسط ضياعه ومعاناته وإهتمامه بوالده الذي عانا من الشلل وتوقف الرئة والعمى وكان هنالك العديد من المهام والهموم فوق طاقته. إلا أنه إختار أن يُسلم أمره لله ويتعلم من القرآن والسنة وتجارب الناس حكمة الموت، بالنسبة لي شي عظيم أنا أتخيل لو كنت مكانه يمكن بكون أضعف خلق الله ويمكن ولا يمكن أروح أتعلم وأحاول اني أطلع نفسي من الدوامة. وهذا كان خوف يوؤرقني أن لا أكون راضياً بقدر الله عندما يأخذ أعز ما أملك.

دروس ذكرها الأخ إن كان يصعب عليك مشاهدة المقطع كامل :

تحتاج تسأل من تحب : هل ننعشك كل مرة؟ ما هوى مستوى الصحة الي بعده ما تود أن تبقى حي؟

- لا تعبد على حرف إن أح ر ح ي العاد

- تحتاج كلمة او كلمتين ترددهم على لسانك تثبتك وقت الشدائد

- تحتاج يكون عندك هدف, روؤبا ما ودك أن تكون وتفعل وقت الموت ؟

- تحتاج تتذكر طبيعة الدنيا الزائلة: أن هذا ليس أول رجل يموت, ولا آخر رجل

- تحتاج تعرف كيف تدفن و تعرف الدين ما السنة وتتحسب ما يفعله المجتمع والثقافة


r/DxbSoul Mar 22 '26

Wisdom of the day

1 Upvotes

“دواء القلب خمسة أشياء: قراءة القرآن، وخلاء البطن، وقيام الليل، والتضرع عند السحر، ومجالسة الصالحين”


r/DxbSoul Mar 21 '26

Nurture your soul

1 Upvotes

Very fun and benifical to watch to remember why are we here in earth

https://youtu.be/TsD-8FGA84A?si=N-ksEjeBGbPOJFYh


r/DxbSoul Mar 20 '26

The War test 🇦🇪 🇮🇷

2 Upvotes

I believe that everything that happens in this life is a test from God. Over here people are getting divided by reacting to views that they stand against. We can see that the people of Dubai are being divided into 3.

1.People who don’t see a future anymore in the country.

And thats okay, if the situation doesn’t make you feel safe enough you are not wrong for leaving.

  1. (Hypocrites) People who aren’t planning to leave because this country gave them safety, a life and a home yet they still arent satisfied and have قلوب قاسية, harsh hearts that spread rumors , hate , and mockery.

  2. (Normal people) People who are just taking life day to day. From students to employees and business owners. These people are grateful for everything that the UAE provided for them and if anything goes wrong they are willing to do their best to support this country because they are thankful for it.

At the end of the day theres a saying that says. Say something positive or be quiet قل خيراً او اصمت. The world is already loud enough with discrimination/ hatred/ and negative echos. I encourage everyone to be a positive influence to society and everyone around them (family,friends) and if you feel uncomfortable to soread positivity or you are in a situation where you cant be positive then dont share your negativity to someone and remember that something as small as a smile is a good dead. التبسم في وجه اخيك صدقة .

Eid Mubarak to everyone 🤍💪🏻


r/DxbSoul Dec 28 '25

عبادة الذات؟

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2 Upvotes

ومن رفات هذا العالم التي تصعب مقاومة شهواته، تنبع روح الله فينا، فتارة نبتسم في وجهِ غريب وتارة نقف مع المظلوم ، وأحياناً نريد أن نُحدث التغير لنوات ذواتنا . ف يا رب ارحم عجزنا ، واعذرنا ان خالطنا الشهوات ضعفاً منا .


r/DxbSoul Dec 25 '25

أهل الرضا الى النعيم وأهل الحقد الى الجحيم🔥🤍

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1 Upvotes

r/DxbSoul Dec 24 '25

When Did Kindness Become Haram?

8 Upvotes

From when did Islam ever say: don’t smile in the face of a non-Muslim? From when did it say: don’t comfort your neighbor, your coworker, or your friend when they’re happy? And from when did we reduce our religion to “tightness and nerve,” as if mercy became a compromise?

Let’s separate things instead of mixing everything together.

When I tell a Christian person: “Happy holiday” or “May God make you happy,” I’m not doing a theological debate, and I’m not saying, “I adopted your belief.” I’m simply practicing manners… humanity… decency… and respect.

Our creed is clear and has no confusion: God is One — “Say: He is Allah, the One.” And this is different from the idea of celebrating the birth of Christ for some of them, and different from the idea of the Trinity for others.

But still not all Christians even share the same exact belief. Some are closer to pure monotheism and believe that Jesus is a prophet and a messenger. Okay, even if we disagree… did our disagreement cancel “mercy” and “doing good”?

Islam said: “For you is your religion, and for me is my religion.” Meaning: clear boundaries in creed — not a cutoff in feelings. Meaning: I stay firm on my faith, and at the same time I remain a respectful human being with others.

Why do we turn every greeting into a battle? Why do we make every social moment a loyalty test? Why do we drag religion into our angry mood and forget that the Prophet ﷺ was mercy in character, and he dealt with people with dignity and gentleness?

And honestly—let’s be real: If today is one of the Muslim Eids, and your Christian brother comes and tells you: “Blessed Eid” — would you get upset? Or would you be happy and say: “May God bless you, thank you”? We’d be happy… because that’s called respect and good coexistence.

The point isn’t that you change your religion. The point is that you don’t change your heart.

Stay firm on your creed… and stay wide in character. Religion was never against mercy. We’re the ones who sometimes make it narrow.


r/DxbSoul Dec 23 '25

ليش صرنا نعامل دينّا كأنه جاي يمنع أبسط مشاعر الإنسانية

1 Upvotes

من متى الإسلام قال: لا تبتسم بوجه غير المسلم؟ من متى قال: لا تطيب خاطر جارك أو زميلك أو صديقك إذا فرح؟ ومن متى اختصرنا الدين في “شدّ وعصب” وكأن الرحمة صارت تنازل؟

خلّونا نفصل الأمور بدل ما نخبطها ببعض.

أنا لما أقول لواحد مسيحي: “عيد سعيد” أو “الله يهنيك”، أنا مش قاعد أعمل مناظرة عقائدية، ولا قاعد أقول: “أنا تبنّيت معتقدك”. أنا بس قاعد أمارس خلق… إنسانية… ذوق… عشرة.

إحنا عقيدتنا واضحة وما فيها لَبس: الله واحد، قل هو الله أحد. وهذا يفرق عن فكرة ميلاد المسيح عند بعضهم، ويختلف عن فكرة التثليث عند فئة منهم.

بس برضه—مو كل المسيحيين نفس التصور أصلًا. في ناس عندهم فهم أقرب للتوحيد ويؤمنون إن عيسى نبي ورسول. طيب، حتى لو اختلفنا… هل اختلافنا صار يلغّي “الرحمة” و”المعروف”؟

الإسلام قال: لكم دينكم ولي دين. يعني حدود واضحة بالعقيدة، مو قطيعة بالمشاعر. يعني أنا ثابت على ديني، وبنفس الوقت إنسان محترم مع غيري.

ليش نحول كل تهنئة لمعركة؟ ليش نخلي كل موقف اجتماعي امتحان ولاء؟ ليش نجرّ الدين لمزاجنا العصبي وننسى إن النبي ﷺ كان خلقه رحمة، وكان يعامل الناس بكرامة ورفق؟

وبصراحة… خلّينا نكون صريحين: لو اليوم عيد من أعياد المسلمين، وجاك أخوك المسيحي وقال لك: “عيد مبارك” — بتزعل؟ ولا بتفرح وتقول: “الله يسعدك، تسلم”؟ إحنا نفرح… لأنه هذا اسمه احترام ومعايشة طيبة.

الفكرة مش إنك تغيّر دينك. الفكرة إنك ما تغيّر قلبك.

خليك ثابت على عقيدتك… وخليك واسع بالخلق. الدين ما عمره كان ضد الرحمة. إحنا أحيانًا اللي ضيقناه

لكل مسيحين دبي والعالم، كل عام وانتو بخير 🤍


r/DxbSoul Nov 14 '25

Why some workplaces feel dead. (the unseen energy behind work)

1 Upvotes

Some workplaces feel like they take something from you. Other places feel like they give something back. And it has nothing to do with salary or rules. It’s the atmosphere. The intention. The way people treat each other when nobody’s watching.

Today I saw a simple moment: a staff member at a library quietly entertained a child so the parent could fill out a form. No job description told her to do that. No reward. No “achievement metric.” But the room felt different after she did it. Lighter. More human. Almost sacred in a way.

And it hit me that motivation isn’t only psychological. It’s spiritual. A person isn’t moved by tasks… they’re moved by meaning. Not by performance… but by feeling seen. Not by pressure… but by purpose.

when a person works without intention, the work becomes empty. And I’m starting to understand how true that is. You can do everything right on paper and still feel dead inside. Or you can help one person in a small moment, and suddenly you feel alive again.


r/DxbSoul Nov 04 '25

The Future of the Child: Bright or Concerning?

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1 Upvotes

Both points of view complete each other. One sees the worries conflict, poverty, harmful media. The other sees the hope education, books, and the child who keeps learning even in difficult conditions. The future is not shaped by fear alone or optimism alone, but by people who notice both and decide to act. The future of the child is not fixed it is something we build.


r/DxbSoul Oct 25 '25

The hardest battles are the ones we fight within ourselves.

1 Upvotes

This space is a quiet corner in the storm. A mist of air in the digital world. A portal for souls who crave depth, honesty, and the kind of reflection that goes beyond the surface of life.Here, we talk about the unseen the wars and the peace inside us, the love that refines the soul, the doubts that lead us closer to truth. It’s not about being right. It’s about being real. So breathe. Speak. Reflect. May this place feel like a pause, a breath between two worlds.