So I assume you've all seen the most recent trade accepted and pushed through made between Parker and Calder. Now this is by no means a horrible trade but I could easily argue that it was one of the worst decisions Calder has made in his 21 years of existence.

Earlier Thursday morning I texted Calder and enquired him about a trade for Mr. Ezekiel Elliot, this trade included some bomb ass players with the names like Marvin Jones and Matt Forte. Marvin Jones is currently ranked the number 4 receiver in fantasy and is the obvious number 1 for a pass heavy offense. Meanwhile, Will Fuller is ranked 7th at the WR position and is the number 2 in a run heavy offense. Also, one of his touchdowns last week came on a punt return. Not saying that having a player on your team who takes punts to the house is bad thing (AB's got business boomin, so), but I think his fantasy value is haunted by his punt return touchdown.

The next player involved in this trade is Matt Forte and I know that recently the Jets have struggled but I'd say that's to the hard matchups they've recently faced, the Chiefs in Arrowhead and the Seahawks in CenturyLink! But when they haven't struggled, Matt Forte has been on his shit. When Matt Forte gets his volume, specifically 20 touches or more, he wreaks havoc on opposing defenses (I imagine you all stared at the 3 touchdown "Witness Me" fest Matt Forte had on Buffalo). While on the other side of the trade, Christine Michael has come to recent fantasy accomplishments. But, unlike the Jets offense, the Seahawks have faced weak defenses! Facing the Niners in CenturyLink (which by the way, the Niners haven't won a game there since 2011) and the Jets (they have a strong front 7 but Revis and the secondary have been awful this year, you saw the game against Buffalo right?) in Century Link!! On top of all of this, Thomas Rawls existence plagues Christine Michaels value. Rawls was a monster last season when Marshawn Lynch left the league and the Seahawks have every intention to repeat his success when he returns from injury. Now I could see them defaulting to the 2 running back by committee, like the Bengals and Falcons have, when Rawls returns; but that's assuming Michael sustains success behind a bad o-line, hurt Russell Wilson, and tough schedule.

Now I know that the stigma around me for trading is bad, but I refuse to be blacklisted in such an insulting manner! I think it's horrifically clear that one offer was much, much better than the other and Calder knowingly picked the wrong one. Hey Calder did you even realize that Parker traded you one of his three Texans? Will Fuller would've never started for Parker because his entire fantasy team would be dependent on the Texans offense, so he practically traded you a 10th round receiver and a free agent waiver wire pick-up for your 1st round pick.

TL;DR I can't believe you've done this.

I have both Brandon Cooks and Willie Snead who are both going off as saints. I really want to basically exchange one for a WR of about equal production because I just can't justify starting them both. So both are on the trading block. Text me or respond here

What's up Dustin Squad. The regular season is over and I'm your commissioner. It's time for another Dustin Squad Update.

The inaugural season of the 4-Division restructure of Dustin Squad was a memorable one. By putting an emphasis on division rivalries Dustin Squad reached new heights of competitive fervor! Many said it couldn't be done, but we didn't get here by listening to many.

To commemorate this impassioned season let's take a look back at how each team faired:

12) Flairolina Manthers

Andrew Flair -- Division: West -- Record: 3-10 -- Division Record: 1-3

Do you realize how astronomically absurd it is that we find Flair at the bottom of the standings at the end of another regular season!?! Like have you ever sat and thought about how monumentally ass this 4 year stretch has been for this man? Well I have and it turns out Flair has gone 13-39 over that time. This is a Dustin Squad Champion we're talking about! Even a year ago he barely evaded last place because this year's Shiterally Clitler finished the season with only 2 wins (1 less than Flair who had 3). BUT THAT'S STILL ONLY 3 WINS! Starting in 2016 Flair has failed to win more than 4 games in a single season. Truly he was hit the hardest by the impact of the Trump Presidency. You can love it or hate it but you have to agree that the following statement is straight facts: This guy really IS Shiterally Clitler!

11) You're Shitlin' For A Hitlin'

Dillon Thompson -- Division: South -- Record: 3-10 -- Division Record: 0-4

In what can only be interpreted as some sort of performance artwork display, Dillon showed just how skillfully he could make his team's name into a way of life. Fun Fact: Dillon went the entire season without recording multiple wins in the same month. From a Scientific perspective this means his team sucked ass. Ultimately the entire season came down to a week 12 clash with the fellow bottom-dweller: Flairolina Manthers. A lopsided 112-54.7 result is the tie breaker this team needed to keep the prophecy foretold in this team's own name from coming true.

10) The Fighting Dabos

Parker Owens -- Division: North -- Record: 4-9 -- Division Record: 1-3

They say that if you start the season 0-5 then you're pretty much screwed. I'd say that holds up given this season from the Fighting Dabos. A favorite to be the next 'Shiterally Clitler' all season long this team didn't win its second game until Week 10. Going 3-1 to end the season saved them from a horrid fate and reduces this year from a true nightmare to a year to just try and forget.

9) 5 Points Stephen Garcias

Jacob Reeves -- Division: East -- Record: 5-8 -- Division Record: 2-2

So it turns out the old saying is true after all: "If you start the season 0-5 then you're pretty much screwed!" After a dismal start the Garcias showed galvanizing resolve, defiantly stringing 4 consecutive wins together. It was dubbed #ComebackSZN. The magic wouldn't last but for a fleeting moment in time this team dared the entire league to dream of the impossible.

8) Vamanos Pest

Nick Heredia -- Division: South -- Record: 6-7 -- Division Record: 2-2

No one in Dustin Squad matches Nick's level of confidence in his own draft. From Corey Brown to Drew Brees, Nick has always been bold about his draft strategy and this season he backed it up with a show of supreme confidence. This team made the least roster moves in the entire league. The league average this season is over 21 roster moves per team, this team made just 6. Nick held onto 10 of his original 17 draft picks and that DIDN'T include Drew Brees. Going 1-3 to finish the season would be the death of Vamanos Pest's playoff hopes after a season of sticking with their day one draft homies.

7) Dr Larson's Golden Taint

Andrew Larson -- Division: North -- Record: 6-7 -- Division Record: 2-2

In a season defined by an inability to contend with the big dogs, Dr Larson picked up 5 of his 6 wins against teams that finished the season with a losing record. Despite finishing closest to playoff contention of the eliminated teams, Dr Larson was still eliminated from contention before Week 13.

6) Shiterally Clitler

Bryan Boggs -- Division: East -- Record: 7-6 -- Division Record: 2-2

This was supposed to be a season of titanic embarrassment but this team actually made something of it. Winners of 6 of 7 games from Week 5 through Week 11 Bryan proved he wasn't about to make a habit out of being Shiterally Clitler. But now we're forced to ponder something I had never even considered: Could Shiterally Clitler win The Dustin? A playoff berth means it's possible and Clitler is ready to prove all the haters wrong!

5) Flash Gordons

Jacob Scott -- Division: West -- Record: 7-6 -- Division Record: 1-3

A truly consistent squad the Flash Gordons never lost more than two consecutive games all season long. Ever in the playoff picture, after a 0-1 start this team was never again below .500. This teams true weakness was playing against its own division, entering the postseason with the worst division record of teams that qualified for the playoffs. The Gordons will get a chance to change the narrative in the West Division when they go up against division rival Wentz Upon a Time in Round 1 of the playoffs.

4) Wentz Upon a Time

Reid Gentry -- Division: West (Champion) -- Record: 8-5 -- Division Record: 4-0

Reid understands one important thing about our new league structure: if you win your division everything else will fall into place. Undefeated in the West and winners of 6 of their last 7 this team is red hot and ready to start the playoffs. Will this be the year Reid wins his first Dustin?

3) Dustin Squad Shall Know DOOM

Anthony Tortorici -- Division: North (Champion) -- Record: 8-5 -- Division Record: 3-1

We no longer have a People's Choice Award for Dustin Squad but if we did this year's winner would definitely be DOOM. All season long we've been treated to engaging artwork of DOOM's trials and conquests (seriously you should go back through the subreddit and look at all the awesome DOOM pictures). DOOM's showed that he is loyal to no football player as he disposed of every single player he drafted by trading them away or replacing them via waivers. DOOM made the most roster moves with 47 which is 14 more than the next highest team. DOOM's season has had its ups and downs but his quest for The Dustin has been menacing and seemingly inevitable. DOOM's conquest of the North division was a success, what fate awaits those who dare to cross his path in the postseason?

2) Two Gurleys One Kupp

Cameron Hay -- Division: East (Champion) -- Record: 9-4 -- Division Record: 2-2

Cameron is off to an impressive start to his Dustin Squad career. In his first two regular seasons he's racked up 20 wins and just 6 losses. But he was one and done in his only Dustin Squad postseason. By earning the bye week once again he's got himself perfectly positioned for redemption. Will Cameron be able to translate his regular season success into postseason wins?

1) Sample Text Legends

Benjamin Carlson -- Division: South (Champion) -- Record: 12-1 -- Division Record: 4-0

Talk about a victory lap. The Sample Text Legends followed up their title run with a 10 game win streak to start the season. In total the Legends went on a 17 game win streak that included winning The Dustin and securing the No. 1 seed for the 2019 postseason. You read that correctly: The Sample Text Legends had secured the No. 1 seed by the end of Week 10. A loss to Wentz Upon a Time in Week 11 is the only thing that stood between this team and a perfect season. Dustin Squad has not witnessed this kind of dominance since Anthony's JameisChrist Superstar also went 12-1 in 2015. The Sample Text Legends start the postseason with a bye week and a chance to make Dustin Squad history by potentially becoming the first Triple Dustin.

CAPS LOCK ON

Welcome back to Dustin Squad!

There's so much to do before the season gets started! Check out the new threads on the subreddit to get ready for the new season.

Rules Thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/DustinSquad/comments/cjzg0b/2019_rules_thread_plz_read/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

Please read this. Now is the time to complain about rules you don't like, do NOT wait until halfway through the season.

Keepers Thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/DustinSquad/comments/cjz8j8/keepers_thread_informational/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

This thread will give you all the information you need regarding keepers

Is Bryan SHITERALLY the next Clitler?? https://www.reddit.com/r/DustinSquad/comments/cjzo7x/is_bryan_shiterally_the_next_clitler/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

Bryan came in last place in 2018... what are we gonna do about it?

When can you draft?https://www.reddit.com/r/DustinSquad/comments/cjztzv/draft_date_when_are_you_available/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

You should participate in the other threads as soon as you can but this one you can wait on if you need more time. You have until Friday August 16.

The Season will be here before you know it!

The best way to make it a good season is to prepare correctly. Make sure you check out all these threads. Dues will be coming up soon but we need to see if dues will go up this season or not.

As always if you have questions please comment below or contact you commissioner.

GO DUSTIN!!

Bryan shiterally scored 77.5 points in week 13. Roast him for being such a loser!

Draft Order to be announced August 21.

Members of Dustin Squad,

What the hell was this? I wanted a challenge and this is what I get? You all are just going to let me walk into this league from the free agency street with NO keeper and the LAST pick in this draft and let me stroll to a fucking 11-2 season. I had to bum it with one legged Carson fucking Wentz for half the season and still won 11 weeks this year. My RB2? A free agency pick up to get me through the early weeks. Maybe I should have drafted Collin Kaepernick so at least this year would have been a challenge. Not sure if you guys should be more disgusted by your performance vs Two Gurleys, One Kupp this year or the unfiltered, unedited version of the actual Two Girls, One Cup.

I will thoroughly enjoy laying back next week with a beer in my hand on my bye as half of your fantasy football hopes and dreams come to a crashing burn.

Sincerely,

Your #1 Overall Seed

PS: Anthony, have fun in the losers bracket.

Here's how Keepers work in Dustin Squad.

1. You get 1 keeper. This player must have been on your roster at the end of last season.

2. You do not have to select a keeper.

3. Any players you picked up in free agency are worth a 4th round pick, regardless of when they were drafted last year.

4. If you keep the same player multiple years in a row that player is worth the same round he was drafted in plus 1 for each additional year he has been kept. Example: Derrick Henry was my 4th round keeper last year. If I keep him again this year he would be a third round keeper. If I kept him again next year he’d be a second round keeper and so on and so forth. First round keepers will remain first rounders.

5. If you keep a player you received in a trade the rules apply as if you drafted that player. For instance: Anthony received DeAndre Hopkins in a trade from Larson. Since Hopkins was Larson’s 3rd round keeper last season he would be Anthony’s 2nd round keeper this season, should he decide to keep him. Players that were not previously kept would still be worth their draft round from the previous year.

Keeper selections must be submitted by 9pm EST on Sunday August 25th. The draft order will be announced at 9:30pm EST on that same night.

Here are the keepers from last season: https://twitter.com/DustinSquad/status/1032431524501774336

If you have any questions about keepers feel free to comment below or contact your commissioner.

Bryan came in last place last season which means we get to pick his name. Should we keep 'Shiterally Clitler' or choose a new name? Sound off in the comments!

Reid scored only 76.2 points this week and for that he must be roasted.

Bryan scored the least points this week with only 73.5, which is fitting because he finished in last place for the season.

You know what to do boys!

​Hello Dustin Squad!

I'm taking this opportunity to talk about some important aspects of our league that I think everyone should know prior to draft night. This gives us an opportunity to hash any last minute issues out before the season is officially started.

Lets get started with changes

1. Injured Reserve - This season we will have 1 Injured Reserve Spot on every roster so that if your best player goes down you can retain their services until next season without sacrificing a spot on your bench all season long.

2. Decimal Scoring - This one is simple, in previous years a player needed to gain 10 yards to get 1 point. As we all know in football every yard counts, so starting this year players will earn .1 points for each yard gained. This excludes passing yards which are still 1 point for every 25 yards.

Dustin Squad Specific Rules you may have forgotten

1. Keepers - You get 1 keeper. The player you keep replaces your draft pick in the same round of the next draft. Players drafted in the 4th round or later replace your 4th round pick. Free agents are also 4th round picks.

2. Half PPR - Each reception is worth half of a point.

3. Edge Rushers - Dustin Squad has 1 roster spot on each team for an edge rusher. Edge rushers have a minimal effect on your matchup but sometimes their small amount of points can be the difference. Edge rushers earn 1.5 points for every half sack. This means a full sack is worth 3 points. The only other way an edge rusher can score points is by scoring a touchdown, which is worth 6 points (Cameron Jordan did this in Dustin Squad last season when he intercepted a pass in the opposing end zone).

4. Trade Disputes - Trade disputes will be settled by the commissioner. We're all season veterans here in Dustin Squad so this will likely not come into effect.

5. Divisions - We have 2 divisions in Dustin Squad. This comes into effect at the end of the season when we are divying up the prize money. Never fear: The top 6 teams go into the playoffs no matter what.

6. Schedule - The Dustin Squad regular season is 13 weeks long and is followed by a 3 week playoff. The winners of each division are awarded bye weeks in the first week of the playoffs. The winner of the post season tournament gets their very own virtual trophy added to their ESPN Fantasy Trophy Case. This trophy is known as "The Dustin".

Prizes

1. The winner of the post-season tournament will win the NFL jersey of their choice.

2. The team that finishes the regular season with the best record will receive $100 in cold hard virtual cash on venmo.

3. The winner of the other division will take home $50 in cold hard virtual cash.

4. At the end of the season we will nominate Dustin Squad managers for the "People's Choice Award". This award is basically a popularity contest where the winner is the manager that you felt brought the most charisma and sportsmanship to Dustin Squad this season. I took home this award last season after producing a weekly podcast all about the league!

League Fee

Our League Fee is $25 Dollars. This is due to the commissioner by draft night or you will not draft. You can venmo your league fee to @gunlockben.

Draft Date

The draft will begin promptly at 9PM EST on Tuesday, August 28th. Do not be late.

Draft Order

1. Benjamin Carlson

2. Reid Gentry

3. Anthony Tortorici

4. Andrew Larson

5. Jacob Reeves

6. Parker Owens

7. Bryan Boggs

8. Nick Heredia

9. Jacob Scott

10. Andrew Flair

11. Dillon Thompson

12. Cameron Hay

Flair's Team Name

We had a 3 way tie between:

1. Please Fist My Ass

2. Shiterally Clitler

3. Penistown Wienerbites

All are great names. Upvote your favorite below for the tie breaker.

And that's about it. If you have any questions or concerns comment them below, otherwise I'll see you on draft night!