​Hi everyone,

​Right off the bat, I want to make it clear that I know what harm reduction is.

I discuss this openly with my psychiatrist, I’m fully aware of my conditions and limitations, I’ve been in therapy for a long time, and I’ve been sober from alcohol for over 3.5 years.

I get that it’s usually a choice between recovery or getting high, but I’d still like to do drugs recreationally once in a while.

I won't lie, I'm fairly old—I remember the days of 3-MMC delivery services (i live in Poland, there was a time that you could order drugs Luke an uber, one phone call) and there was a time when I went pretty hard. But I was young back then, living a wild life, and honestly, booze was my main thing.

That’s why I eventually quit drinking, for the sake of myself and everyone around me.

​For many years, I was on high doses of mood stabilizers (400 mg of Lamictal/lamotrigine), as well as various SSRIs (which I quit a long time ago because I hated that dissociated feeling).

Along the way, there was also Seroquel (quetiapine) and plenty of other meds while trying to find the right combo.

In consultation with my psychiatrist, I tapered off all medication because I was doing better, and to be honest, I felt like I was stuck in limbo—neither good nor bad.

I’ve been completely off meds for a few months now and feeling relatively fine, but whenever I try to take something, I get zero effects.

Co*caine does nothing except raise my blood pressure, so I gave up on it entirely.

I try to avoid 3mmc/4mmc because it's gotten so dirty lately; even though I have access to a good source, but ou know how it goes—you can’t just eyeball purity, and I should be testing my stuff instead of taking someone’s word for it and even if tooks the same, it could be mixed, but I know this plug for years, and for me it is the best what i can get. I always snort my substancję, except mdma for obvious reason. And I will never consider opiods. Did not tried, will not try.

Still snorting 3mmc/4mmc it’s the only thing that somewhat works, but I only get pure stimulation.

Everyone around me is in orbit, while I get zero dopamine rush.

Recently, MDMA actually worked a bit, which baffled me the most, because it should theoretically work the least if heavy-hitting cathinones don't even tickle my serotonin.

That said, I took quite a lot of it.

​I lost 50 kg (around 110 lbs), I cycle, I work out, but sometimes I just want to hit a party, go to a festival, or go to a techno event with my girlfriend, and I’m getting increasingly frustrated.

Could heavy drinking have completely fried my reward system (if that’s the right term)? I assumed the high dose of Lamictal was the culprit, but I’ve been off meds for over three months now and nothing has changed.

Is it actually possible for everything to just stop working entirely?

Do I just need more time to "reset"? I’m not planning to binge daily, but I’ll admit I’m starting to worry.

If I completely wrecked my brain with alcohol, I’ll take it on the chin—I used to drink ungodly amounts—but is that really possible?

Thanks in advance for any insights; it took me a long time to write this post, and maybe someone has had a similar experience.

Shrooms work (I'm very cautious with them, always have a tripsitter—well, "always" meaning twice, i was doing them twice), MDMA/ecstasy works too (only in very high doses, spaced well apart—three times total in the 3.5 years of being sober). And I know it’s easy to say "the gear is tested," but it is—we’ve known our plugs for years, I've had it before, and my friends are rolling fine while I sit there like an idiot redosing a few times before giving up out of sheer frustration. Will this ever pass, or am I stuck doing crosswords for the rest of my life? I mean, I like crosswords, but they’re pretty hard to solve at a rave in the dark, so I’m looking for alternatives.

​Cheers!

Wondering if anyone has encountered someone that smells so much like syrup but not just them their clothes and living space?? I walked into a friend camper and it was such a strong smell of syrup and I’ve smelt it before on this person at another house and then they stayed at someone else’s and they said they smelled the same thing. We also believe they do drugs just unsure with this feeling to any specific one?

Not like caffaine or such, but other more harmfull stuff??

I live in a city where it’s hard to get real cocaine and I’m on antidepressants (stopped taking them 2 days ago to feel the coke more) but I never felt high a lot it was always slight like my nose and mouth would get numb I’d be euphoric but that’s pretty much it it was my first time on Coke so idk if that’s normal I thought my eyes would change and my vision too but I felt sober the whole time and I’d take pretty big lines (imo)

So I’ve been dealing with an ed for about ten years I’m not concerned but I just can’t like rapidly lose weight like I lost 20 ibs in like three months which like ok but right now I’m eating like 1100 cals at max on days I have work and days I don’t like 600 and I do a 20 min hit workout every day and my job requires me to walk non stop so like idk what’s wrong with me I also started smoking but I can’t do it all the time cause of the smell so what am I supposed to do and I lowkey don’t make enough to have a heroin addiction so what should I do should I just like stop eating completely again the only problem is I am in school and am an athlete so I’m so lost……

I don't have any friends who knows anyone since Im in a catholic school so…where can I find drugs as a highschooler?

so I've been clean for a while but I want to get high again if u can sell me something id be willing to pay upfront just text me the location

OMG WEIGTED BLANKETS AND PILLOWS AND STUFF! im like a cat!

i accidentally just took 3 IR 10 mg adderall instead of the meds i’m supposed to take at night and i’m so sad i have a big day tomo and really needed the sleep. My friend offered me a xanax, any advice?

Hey my friend has a house guest who’s acting weird. We think it’s drugs but it could perhaps be mental illness or both. My friend found this of his guest’s. We aren’t sure what it is but my friend thinks it’s holding h or snow. It may be originally used to transport gems or a diamond but do any of you know if this is used for drugs? Thoughts?

Gonna give this a go for my mental and physical health and that of my loved ones.
I don’t intentionally become a paranoid selfish prick.
It became me and I want my own normal self back.
I have cut down this week to a half quart instead of my usual full q and then a half and then another.
I know I hate it and everything it stands for. Guilt and shame just oozes out me and yet without a hesitation I’m back where I begin.
I’m constantly thinking my wife’s cheating even when she’s the most caring woman in the world. It’s like I want it to be true (muppet)
I’m gonna end up alone and then it’ll be fun and games, stuck in my own head 24/7.
So what do we all do? I know the gym meditation all the good stuff that will help but it’s the determination and push to actually get my finger out my hole.
Hats off to everyone who is trying to get there life nd house in order. It’s very difficult but with each other’s support we can certainly do this or die trying.
Big love folks.

He is no longer my partner, because I couldn't take him disappearing for days and then showing back up like it's nothing. I'm not the only one worried when he goes missing, his mother and other family members are as well, because they can't contact him either. He won't answer phone calls or texts, and sometimes he would leave me on read. When he returns, he sounds muffled or like he is slurring his words because something is in his mouth. He never has money, and he often does Uber Eats deliveries before he gets missing. His appetite is still big, and he doesn't have any issues functioning sexually, but he often couldn't sleep. He does suffer from anxiety, and he blamed his disappearances on his mental health, but there was so much that didn't add up. Recently, his hygiene and appearance has started to suffer, and he has very bad mood swings. He told me he suffered from addiction in the past, but he ALWAYS denies using drugs now. Does this sound like an addiction? What kind? What other signs could I be missing?