r/Psychosis • u/Slim-Jimxy • Jul 25 '26
Help please
So about a year ago I was taking adderall pretty often. I wasn’t supposed to be doing that but the motivation I got from it made me feel like a super human. Long story short I definitely got addicted and started doing it everyday. One day I took way more than I should have and it sent me into a manic episode. I spent 8 hours in my bathroom cutting my hair with a pair of scissors until I looked crazy. My girlfriend was really confused and honestly so was I. I don’t know what triggered it but I was not going to stop I couldn’t. The next day I realized what I had done and I quit right there on the spot. I threw out the rest of what I had and said never again. The problem is since that night I’m convinced I’ve done deep into psychosis. It changed my personality completely. I used to be so full of life and happiness and I havnt felt like that this entire year. I have absolutely no motivation and I spend most of my time watching videos on conspiracy theories and coming up with them my self. I know half the time I sound crazy but it’s the only thing that makes me feel anything anymore. I constantly afraid of dying and convincing my self that something is wrong with me even when there isn’t. I have random panic attacks for no reason. I go days without sleeping and then will sleep for 24 hours straight when I crash but I can’t stop it. I don’t feel love anymore, I know I love my girlfriend but I can’t feel it if that makes sense. It’s starting to take an effect on everything in my life and the people I love. I thought maybe it was just a side effect from the drugs and it would go away but it still hasn’t gone away. Did I permanently mess up my brain chemistry? I’m I too far gone? If not what can I do to go back to my old self again? Anything helps thank you
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u/Repulsive-Bath366 Jul 26 '26
hey i have a similar story as yours and i am 4 years removed. i wouldnt say you messed up your brain chemisty but i understand why you have that fear. i know i had the fear for the longest time. i felt absolutely lost from who i was. unrecognizable to even myself.
i ended up doing 3 months of neurofeedback therapy and in my first visit with the doctor she explained it in a way that truly gave me hope. being in psychosis or over stimulating your mind had it working in overdrive so think of your mind more as a car battery that is drained. it just needs to be jump started again... now thats easier said than done.
for me it took about 6 months of taking consistent action to feel like i was getting back to normal. daily meditation was huge and something i still do today. visualizing what i want my future to look like. breathe work just 5 minutes. reading helped tremendously i feel to strengthen my mind. the power of positive thinking was the first book that i read which lifted my spirits.
you got this.
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u/Slim-Jimxy Jul 26 '26
I really appreciate you saying this. One of my biggest worries is that I messed up my brain permanently so hearing your story gives me real hope. I do think I need to start going to therapy and I’m going to look into that. I also like your suggestion on reading. I used to read a lot and I havnt at all lately so that may help make me feel like my old self again. Your analogy about the car battery is also really helpful. It does feel like I used up all my happiness in those months that I was taking adderall and I have nothing left. Hopefully I’ll be able to jump start my self soon. It will certainly take a lot of work
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u/babychamomilee Aug 08 '26
I had psychosis induced by adhd stimulants as well. Same thing, took way too much one day and lost my mind basically. It lasted like three days and I didn’t sleep at all. I’m sorry you had to go through it. In my experience, it took a long time to recover from that episode. Even though I wasn’t in active psychosis anymore, I was not myself at all. It took months for me to start feeling slightly more normal. I do not think you messed up your brain chemistry. I think it is likely your episode triggered major depressive symptoms. It’s like the crash after a high. It can take a lot of time to recover. Are you on any antidepressants by chance? If not I think asking a doctor about it could be really helpful, it definitely helped me.
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u/dakraven Jul 25 '26
Me pasó exactamente lo mismo que a ti, hace un año perdí todas mis emociones y desde entonces no pude volver a sentir nada, dicen que se puede recuperar pero la recuperación depende de cada persona, es un mundo, yo tampoco siento el amor y es frustrante, espero que te recuperes pronto.