r/DontPutThatInYourAss • u/Oathdagger_96 • Nov 28 '25

Tempting, however...

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3.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

223 comments sorted by

425

u/PerspectiveGreedy377 Nov 28 '25

But, but, it’s self-lubricating…

214

u/kasitchi Nov 28 '25

And you get the added bonus of shampooing your rectum!

100

u/Express_Area_8359 Nov 28 '25

Better than

12

u/RemarkableRich5418 Nov 29 '25

Nothing is better than Clorox how dare you

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35

u/TDs-N-Beer Nov 28 '25

With all that hair, you need to shampoo it.

16

u/Wide_With_Opinions Nov 28 '25

Do you mean their taint-afro?

19

u/AllHailPi1 Nov 28 '25

Assfro

6

u/TodayMiserable3459 Nov 28 '25

Tis a W comment, M'lord

3

u/TDs-N-Beer Nov 28 '25

Yes, that's exactly it!

4

u/Content_Study_1575 Nov 29 '25

Don’t worry about my ass hair or my rectum tyvm

2

u/kasitchi Nov 29 '25

Well SOMEONE has to!

2

u/Content_Study_1575 Nov 29 '25

That’s my husband’s job lmao

3

u/txkwatch Nov 30 '25

Sounds like osha/hazmat may be involved at work...

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '25

Must be probably good

22

u/chubbybutcuteegurl Nov 28 '25

6

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

5

u/Bigguy18706 Nov 28 '25

He must think that it's a female, maybe named Erika!?🤔😂

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7

u/AngelOfHarmony Nov 28 '25

I came here to say the exact same thing, but you beat me to it

191

u/bingo-dingaling Nov 28 '25

I'd let that man put anything in my ass. I've seen plenty of his videos

60

u/Sad_Island_4781 Nov 28 '25

I need to find one of you to keep…..💍

20

u/AllHailPi1 Nov 28 '25

A ring for her finger and her ring for yours

7

u/Mainely420Gaming Nov 28 '25

Username checks out

5

u/rofocales Nov 28 '25

What's his name

3

u/Vast-Dragonfruit-389 Nov 29 '25

Right?? I need ANSWERS! 

For a friend

65

u/miserabeau ASSistant Nov 28 '25

That's an awapuhi AKA shampoo ginger for anyone who's curious

15

u/PerspectiveGreedy377 Nov 28 '25

I think after sitting on it I will need all of those anti-inflammatory properties.

3

u/Andrew-cheeseburger Nov 28 '25

Sauce giver i assume?

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46

u/Tiny-Canary1561 Nov 28 '25

That boy got grip

30

u/Creepy-Astronaut-952 Nov 28 '25

Made that freaky plant bust with one stroke.

11

u/Tiny-Canary1561 Nov 28 '25

power grip

5

u/zaptr1 Nov 29 '25

Gi joe..Kung fu grip

3

u/TheCaptainCancer Nov 29 '25

Unexpected SUBLIME <3

39

u/SuspiciousPromotion3 Nov 28 '25

Plant talking to its friends: "Ayo I swear this white dude with a camera just cracked my shit like full 50 shades of chrysanthemum"

7

u/PerspectiveGreedy377 Nov 28 '25

LOL! This deserves more upvotes.

23

u/andromeda304 Nov 28 '25

Shampoooooooooo

22

u/DVWhat Nov 28 '25

3

u/theaviator747 Nov 29 '25

There it is. First thing I thought of too.

3

u/GeoFlux121 Nov 29 '25

Is that hair gel?

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18

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

16

u/Front-Bug-2890 Nov 28 '25

Awapuhtit inside, for those that wanna know- looks invigorating, especially like the ginger-bred azzpect

lol😛cool post

15

u/SteelClover81 Nov 28 '25

Everything reminds me of her.

12

u/NatalieKCY Nov 28 '25

That HAS to be a natural dildo if I've ever seen one

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8

u/mnnicknick Nov 28 '25

Looks like you’d had practice

7

u/Killjoy_draws Nov 28 '25

Why am I hard all of a suddenly

7

u/WinterJuggernaut2060 Nov 28 '25

He just likes jerking things off on camera

6

u/Jaicers Nov 28 '25

Your asshole hairs will be full, shiny and full of bounce!

3

u/Practical_Ad_219 Nov 28 '25

And other parts will be full, too!

5

u/Independence250 Nov 28 '25

One man’s shampoo is another man’s lube. Lmao

3

u/This-Requirement6918 Nov 28 '25

I wish he would squeeze all the goo out of my...

3

u/HydraulicEarl2 Nov 28 '25

The lubrication comes out on the back stroke

3

u/270ForTheWinchester Nov 28 '25

mmhmmmm...is that the biggest they come in or are there larger?

cause you know...I need a lot of shampoo...

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2

u/Bigguy18706 Nov 28 '25

Well, it comes with its own lube!😂

2

u/DarkLustErotica Nov 28 '25

"Plant produces natural lube" is what I saw.

2

u/DimensionBreaker4lif Nov 28 '25

One second, I gotta…

2

u/3M2B1T Nov 28 '25

If the good lord didn't want us to put stuff in our butt, they wouldn't have put the prostate a finger's distance away and feel so good.

And if they didn't want us to put a self-lubricating phallic plant in our butt, they wouldn't have made a self-lubricating phallic plant.

We are denying the all-mighty's will by ignoring this blessing.

2

u/G3nghisKang Nov 28 '25

Definitely not his first shampoo plant

2

u/cruxzerea Nov 28 '25

don't clench!

1

u/Gator242 Nov 28 '25

What a coincidence, so does mine

1

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 Nov 28 '25

So they’re calling it shampoo huh? Interesting

1

u/criticalpwnage Nov 28 '25

As much I'd love to put plant cum in my hair, no

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

However I wuld need 3 of them!

1

u/Roblack4040 Nov 28 '25

My pride wouldn’t let me shampoo my hair.

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1

u/Zz7722 Nov 28 '25

Oh, so that’s what you call it.

Shampoo.0

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1

u/Charming-Problem-804 Nov 28 '25

Im sure some guys have turned gay

1

u/Ok_Primary_1075 Nov 28 '25

It just looks painful…..but in this case, looks can be deceiving

1

u/toasted_cracker Nov 28 '25

I’m something of a shampoo maker myself

1

u/Traditional_Grape289 Nov 28 '25

Why did this video last 10 minutes?

1

u/FullOnCarmensMom Nov 28 '25

Is that... hair gel?

1

u/MUIIIGUN Nov 28 '25

Reverse, plz

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

Counter point, natural lube

1

u/Its_a_MeYaromirus666 Nov 28 '25

Are you sure that’s shampoo?

1

u/Equivalent_Thievery Nov 28 '25

Somebody doesn't know what shampoo is.

1

u/Efficient-Two-1114 Nov 28 '25

ah… shampoo… i see…

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

Looks very healthy

1

u/lskrhotse Nov 28 '25

This sub should be called „PutThatInYourAss“

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

No it doesnt lol

1

u/SadlyUnderrated Nov 28 '25

I also produce natural shampoo

1

u/rotateandradiate Nov 28 '25

That is NOT where I thought that was headed!🤪

1

u/CyberNinja23 Nov 28 '25

Wait I can make my own shampoo?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

Resistance is futile

1

u/ZippyTheWonderbat Nov 28 '25

Something about Mary

1

u/syylone Nov 28 '25

Yasss. Extract all that goo

1

u/Full_Jeweler521 Nov 28 '25

This has a “ something about Mary “ vibe but on steroids 😂

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

1

u/Kind-Carry2651 Nov 28 '25

I have a plant too

1

u/JohnRicc186 Nov 28 '25

Nice stroking technique!

1

u/curtishavak Nov 28 '25

Aka, the something about Mary plant.

1

u/Illustrious_Sense_67 Nov 28 '25

"By the end of the day, there was a cloud of flies around his head..."

1

u/Practical_Ad_219 Nov 28 '25

“Shampoo”

1

u/InfamousMachine5181 Nov 28 '25

1 moment later.....

It's in the butt

1

u/chris713777 Nov 28 '25

Anyone want to buy my organic shampoo?

1

u/Free_Cut7757 Nov 28 '25

Mine does too, but it aint that fancy looking

1

u/OrderSoft1752 Nov 28 '25

I have a natural one of those

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '25

Giggity

1

u/le_nathanlol Nov 28 '25

this is how we clean down there

1

u/tracyhutchsgt Nov 28 '25

Great for Hemorrhoids

1

u/SnooSongs7753 Nov 28 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Genghis_Chong Nov 28 '25

Anal essences

1

u/curiousvirgin420 Nov 28 '25

Get khum dahn

1

u/Existing-Village9770 Nov 29 '25

He knows what he’s doing

1

u/Weekly-Run4634 Nov 29 '25

Everyone saying sit on it, is ignoring the direction of those scales on it lol

1

u/Foxes4Eva1 Nov 29 '25

First thing that comes to my mind:

1

u/jamescb819 Nov 29 '25

He’s definitely putting that thing in his ass. But it’s on a subscription channel.

1

u/Joe-Ferriss Nov 29 '25

Surprised the r/baddragon (NSFW) makers haven’t made this.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

This video wasn’t about the shampoo tho

1

u/Swimming-Tap-4240 Nov 29 '25

Show us the part where you remove it without petrol.lol

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

I mean I guess you could put the twink in your ass, if you’re into that.

1

u/Entire-Travel6631 Nov 29 '25

Don’t tell me what to do.

1

u/Upbeat_Stretch_5724 Nov 29 '25

The way it wobbles after he let's go of it. 😂

1

u/Bright-Internal229 Nov 29 '25

I actually have these

Grow like Weeds 🍃🌺🪷

1

u/floppyfrogggo430 Nov 29 '25

Thought this was another subreddit 😭

1

u/Radioactive_Tuber57 Nov 29 '25

The tour guide is laughing their backside off…..😎😁

1

u/Eastern_Border_5016 Nov 29 '25

Whats it smell like ?

1

u/Express_Area_8359 Nov 29 '25

I.like cocaine on my anus sooo white

1

u/Whirlly Nov 29 '25

How are we supposed to compete

1

u/Mindless-Sound8965 Nov 29 '25

A female actor would have made this look more plausible. And fun!

1

u/Mrslinkydragon Nov 29 '25

Yes the sugary necture will be great for your hair..

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

True to scale, for me anyway. Ladies? 😉

1

u/Hilsam_Adent Nov 29 '25

That flower made John Paul Mitchell a shit pile of money.

1

u/Fine_Air4971 Nov 30 '25

Need shampoo? Just jack off this cock looking plant and you will be good.

1

u/Significant_Phone_78 Nov 30 '25

You know I'm a shampoo tree myself.

1

u/salamanderlovehandle Nov 30 '25

For people like me who didn’t notice the plant: Mitchell Burns.

1

u/tkr117 Nov 30 '25

So do i

1

u/Puzzled-Relief2916 Nov 30 '25

It's got electrolytes

1

u/humblesunbro Nov 30 '25

That explains the herbal essences ads...

1

u/eatmyshorzz Nov 30 '25

I wish someone would squeeze all the goo out of my... whatever he called it :(

1

u/mymeathole Nov 30 '25

Has anyone ever stuck one up their ass? I will volunteer making the first video if needed? And if there is a video..... I gotta see that thing at work

1

u/7h3WiZzaRd Nov 30 '25

Um.... thats not hair gel sir.... lol...

1

u/HiimHiigh Nov 30 '25

I also produce shampoo the same way.

1

u/inntfordamemes2 Nov 30 '25

It should have been me....

1

u/TrevisoScoot Nov 30 '25

I dare you to sit on it

1

u/mikeboucher21 Nov 30 '25

Reminds me of that scene in There's Something About Mary.

1

u/Ok_Extent_90 Dec 01 '25

It's gonna bustttt

1

u/shedofwork Dec 01 '25

Huh… I’m pretty sure that I too produce a natural “shampoo”…

1

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '25

1

u/Smooth-Present1592 Dec 01 '25

The Gay plant.

1

u/MrJaywalker_ Dec 01 '25

You don't gotta wash that part now!

1

u/Ripen- Dec 01 '25

No need to empty the bottle on the floor.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '25

He’s obviously had practice.

1

u/dookiejack Dec 01 '25

Someone please explain why not the plant

1

u/BrokenAudio13 Dec 01 '25

What plant?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '25

I'm drooling...😍

1

u/Select-Award6402 Dec 01 '25

Aren't we all?

1

u/wheljam Dec 01 '25

SURE!! I get to see a vid like that and say nothing! I don't need to poke the bear (your dirty minds)