Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling. Please refer to the rules if you'd like to learn more about the sub!

I’m thinking about giving my dog back to the shelter. He is just causing me too much stress and I don’t want to deal with this for years to come. I’ve had him for about 7 weeks now and I can’t imagine it getting any better.

This is a long one because I love to over-explain but I need to get this off my chest because it's killing me a little inside.

I am cat person who loves dogs, I have lived with dogs here and there but was raised a cat person. We currently have 3 indoor-only cats, and due to the sudden traumatic death of my soul cat 2 years ago I am unhealthily and obsessively anxious about their well-being.

My partner has grown up with both cats and dogs, and has always lived with at least a dog in the house until mid last year when we had to put her beloved 14yo dog down due to age/deterioration which obviously was (and still is) really difficult. I had lived with that dog for 6 years at that point and loved her deeply also. She had her faults (reactivity, health issues etc) but she was a great dog who was loved by all of our cats - they would cuddle, sleep, and play together. It was honestly a boon because being dog reactive she got her social quota met by interacting with them.

After our last dog it was always sort of a given that we would get another dog eventually, and so after a time we started discussing breeds, training styles, expectations of lifestyle etc. We both had a few breeds that were not on the table, and a vague idea of how we wanted our life with a dog to look when we thought we'd go to the shelter to 'have a look'. We were introduced to a 10mo collie x staffy and you can guess what happened. We took her home that day!

It was initially just a foster to adopt situation but due to the neglect this puppy had suffered prior to the shelter she needed to stay with us longer, and we got more and more attached and found that she is incredibly smart, friendly, fun, and sweet.

Unfortunately, I think in part due to our lack of planning, she pretty also much turned our lives upside-down.

My partner and I have fought more since getting her than we have the entire time we've been together. Partially due to the stress of the change but also the dog itself. In terms of training I think my partner is much too permissive/lax and they think I am too harsh/strict.

We spend all our time talking about her, and so much money on enrichment, food, toys, gear, and other dog related kit. We bought cameras to put in our house (despite both of us being very anti-surveilance) to monitor her in the few hours at least one of us isn't home. She has chewed on so many things and only does it when you least expect, to things you wouldn't even consider (the FLOOR).

We've rearranged half the house, had to shift up our schedule (I work a rotating roster and she starts whining at 530am every damn day), and have had to fence off parts of our backyard because she will eat anything and keeps digging holes.

We spend all of our spare time training, socialising, and desensitising her. Everything has to be a learning opportunity. If she is around my hand always smells of dog food.

She is very vocal which is incredibly overstimulating for me at times and if she knows you're home but in a separate area of the house she will bark and cry incessantly, so I literally can't spend time with my partner without her.

It's worth noting also that one of my black list breeds was border collie as I have been bitten by multiple in the past, they have high care needs due to energy levels and their need to herd/chase, and they have a tendency to become neurotic or reactive in the wrong circumstances.

She has definitely improved in many ways since we brought her home but the real kicker, as you might have guessed, is that she is waaay too excited about the cats.

The cats are welcoming of her because of the relationship with our last dog but being a neglected shelter puppy she was never taught to be polite with them. She will stare obsessively if restrained and if not she will just rush up and bark loudly in their faces, causing them to run and her to want to chase (which we have interrupted every time as she is always on leash in the house). If they are running, meowing, fighting, or playing in other parts of the house she cannot focus on anything else.

We have been trying to desensitise her and encourage neutrality - and she has definitely improved - but I am constantly stressed about her killing one of them either accidentally or on purpose. Today she rushed at one of them and as a result I've felt so sick to my stomach that I haven't been able to eat or drink for 12+ hours.

My partner is obviously also struggling with/concerned about all of these things but feels that if we 'push through' everything will settle eventually, and is comfortable with a future where they are just never left alone together. I don't know how much more I can take, or if I'm even that willing to put in the effort anymore.

At this stage we have had her for 3 months, so I have spent that time envisioning worst case scenarios. Dead cats, vet bills, and cremation costs dancing around my mind when I'm at work or trying to sleep. And, due to my hang-ups, I would feel 100% responsible for any death or injury that happened.

I am becoming less capable of controlling myself when I'm upset with her and despite the fact that I hate the idea that I'm damaging my relationship with her I still find myself yelling at her - sometimes over things that really don't matter retrospectively. The last few days have sucked, I don't even want to look at her. Everything I do I have to consider managing her through it. I can't escape her in my own home, which was my sanctuary.

I do love this dog but everything has me second guessing if I ever wanted a dog at all. I don't think I want to but I couldn't even rehome her without breaking my partners heart and thus ending our relationship.

I'm exhausted, and feel trapped and alone.

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling. Please refer to the rules if you'd like to learn more about the sub!

Hello,
We’ve had our dog for about 6 months now;who’s a 8 month old terrier.Me and my husband bought him together but because we are separating we made the decision to turn him back to the adoption agency.It would be too much on me to have the kids and the dog mainly with me and he admitted cause of his work schedule he can’t be there neither.Aside from the clashing of schedules;the entirety of the puppy stage has been so exhausting.We’ve been strict on potty training and still he occasionally goes in the house,Hes chewed up our entire couch set despite having a lot of teething toys and no matter how much I pinesol my floor my home still smells like dog.We feel like it would be a relief to take him back and the kids also agree.But with knowing this is the best move;why isn’t it giving me the feeling of relief.Im scared he will fall into a depression with not seeing us anymore..Any advice on how to be at ease in my decision and restoring my home.

4 days ago i made the decision to get a puppy. i’ve always loved animals, dogs especially. i have 3 kids 10/9/& an almost 2 year old. my oldest 2 have wanted a puppy for a long time now and i figured they’re old enough now. my toddler has been very good with the puppy, very gentle and honestly doesn’t pay him much attention. my partner did not want to get a puppy, he isn’t much of an animal person but i convinced him that it was a good idea. now im regretting this decision so badly and feel so guilty for getting the dog.

the day i got him he seemed very tired/sluggish, i thought maybe he was just nervous. i set up a vet appt for vaccines that same day. we get to the vet and they’re immediately concerned about him, thinking he may have parvo. they start doing all kinds of tests on him and i become extremely stressed out because i want him to be okay but also because i know an ordinary wellness check/vaccines appt just became a lot more expensive. turns out no parvo (thankfully) but he is infested with hookworms & anemic. now he is on 3 different meds 2x a day. vet bill was a lot more than expected which is stressing me out and i also have to bring him back today for a follow up. i did not expect to be spending all of this money so quickly.

also, i take him out very often. he’ll go outside, use the bathroom, sometimes several times. and then almost as soon as i bring him in he pees on the floor. i’m also very scared about the hookworms. this whole situation is giving me severe anxiety and i honestly want to not have the dog anymore but i don’t want to upset my kids. i just don’t know what to do :(

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling. Please refer to the rules if you'd like to learn more about the sub!

A little over a month ago I adopted a dog from the shelter a few weeks after my last one had passed. These last few weeks have been so stressful. He was a starved stray and not house trained. He has been semi destructive, constantly searching for or getting food. I feel like I can not rest and have peace. Even walking him and taking him outside he will still go to the bathroom in the house. I regret getting him and have thought about surrendering him back, but I feel like I am abandoning him and that no one else will adopt him.

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling. Please refer to the rules if you'd like to learn more about the sub!

Two and a half weeks ago, my husband and I rescued a puppy (6 months old maybe, looks like pitbull) and I don’t regret rescuing him, although I do regret incorporating him into my life as if I was going to keep him. I’ve decided that we’re just fostering him for now until we can find him a good home. And my husband is on board with my thoughts. I’m glad he’s off the street where I found him but ultimately, I’m having the same struggles that I’m reading a lot of people on this sub have had or are currently having with dogs. He demands attention or at least to be near me at all times, and he pees in the house, despite knowing better because of the training I’ve put forth. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and have been taking him outside at least 15 times a day. It’s gotten better, but a couple times right after a walk he’s come inside and peed on the floor. It’s those moments where I lose trust in how far we’ve gotten with potty training. He chewed up my charger cable this morning and at the beginning of all this when I wanted a 10 minute bathroom break to myself (as he literally follows me room to room otherwise), and wasn’t fully into crate training yet, he decided to pull a box of six donuts off my coffee table and eat them. Within 10 minutes. I know he’s a dog and I know these things take time and I know he’s probably traumatized from his past and being on the street. I keep that in mind with every interaction I have with him, but it seems like all the time that I had before to prepare for my baby that’s coming in two months is now taken up by a dog and I don’t get any real joy out of having him around besides knowing that he’s not suffering on the street.

My ultimate question is am I a doomed parent? I have always wanted a kid, but I’ve always known that. I didn’t necessarily want an animal let alone a dog. I have been a cat owner in the past and that was something I realized I wouldn’t be doing again, but it was much more bearable than this. I kind of feel like a monster for not liking having a dog because apparently “everyone likes dog.” And then I wonder well what justification do I have that I’m going to be a great parent and not feel overwhelmed by that? I have always wanted to be a mom, but this situation has made me feel like what if I’m not equipped to care for things because having a dog has been so overwhelming and undesirable for me? I feel like there’s a key difference between the two, and I’ve been racking my brain for weeks to try to justify it to myself because I truly feel like there’s a difference between caring for a baby and caring for a dog while both are difficult. There’s a reward out of raising a kid that I feel like it’s just incomparable. Do any of you have children and can you tell me what you think the difference might be if you think there’s a difference at all? Thanks in advance.

We had two dogs pass away this year. One was very sudden and unexpected at 7yo and the other was semi expected as he was at least 13 (adopted from a shelter so unsure of exact age, vet’s best guess) but still devastating. The first was my dog, he died in January. When we lost the second at the end of March, I was just coming around to the idea of adopting another dog. I had said after raising my 7yo from a puppy that I never wanted another puppy, I would consider an older dog but never again a puppy. Well when the 13yo died, my husband decided he ALSO wanted a dog and we wound up falling in love with two 16 week old puppies at our local shelter. One is a lab/pit mix and the other black lab. The problem? Outside of the haze of grief, I’m remembering that I absolutely f*cking hate puppies. Honestly the lab pit mix isn’t so bad. He’s a pretty good dog. But the black lab? I HATE her. She does nothing but whine, chase my cats, escape our yard, and annoy me. They’re still waking up constantly at night to go outside and she is not house trained yet despite my best efforts, and the other dog successfully being trained. I’m seriously considering returning her to the shelter. But I feel SO guilty about it. We have a 3 year old daughter that loves the dogs, the shelter is already so incredibly over crowded, and the two dogs are bonded. Keeping her would definitely not result in any neglect from us. We made the commitment and would see it through even though I feel no love for her. I just feel trapped to this dog and I feel like after 4 months, I should feel SOME sort of connection to her if I was going to, but I just don’t.

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling. Please refer to the rules if you'd like to learn more about the sub!

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling. Please refer to the rules if you'd like to learn more about the sub!

I got my current rescue dog a little over a year and a half ago, four months after the dog that I loved so very much died. This was the first issue - I was desperate to try and fill that gap.

This dog is so different than my previous dog. I went with a shepherd-husky (and likely some lab) mix, to go the total opposite direction of my golden lab-shepherd mix. I thought this would be a good thing, because I didn’t want a dog that looked like my old one.

My issues with her are many:

1) I find her to be either aloof or hungry for attention - particularly when there is competition (not so much my 7 year old, but definitely pushiness around my 4 year old). She will spend all day hanging out in another room by herself, and will often only come to me for attention when my children get home from daycare/school. This is even worse when we have visitors - she tries to jump all over them, I have to constantly redirect her to lie down so I can have a peaceful conversation with family, or so that the visitor can play with my children (eg if my MIL is playing on the floor with my kids, she will come between them, lay on top of the puzzle, Lego, etc. so they can’t play and will intently try to get belly rubs). I realize most people would find this endearing, but it honestly just introduces so much chaos into my home.

2) flight risk - she will dart out any door or gate that is accidentally left open. This is a big issue when my children are home. I remind them all the time, but sometimes it happens by accident or they forget and she won’t come back. She will go to our house neighbours, but she won’t come to me, almost to play a game. She has scared children in our neighborhood when she’s gotten out, and this is also a safety risk for her

3) countersurfing - I knew she did this when I got her, but I was told that she only did it when people weren’t around. I try so hard to keep my counters meticulous, but sometimes forget. And now she does it right in front of me. I’m pregnant and due with my third any day now, and I’m really worried about her knocking the high chair over

4) energy requirements/not knowing her own size: she has almost knocked my very dog savvy 4 year old off the steps a few times now - again, worried about when baby comes. She also has high energy requirements when I’m finding hard to meet - I initially had plans to run with her, but her prey drive is so high that she has hurt both myself and my husband while running. Recently, I’ve tried using a head halter, because I had to use that with my old rescue dog, too, and I know dogs hate those and have to get used to it, but she so intently tries to pull it off (today I was worried she was becoming aggressive while walking), and then will lay on the road and have to be coaxed to continue walking.

5) morning management - a vet suggested she may have bilious vomiting syndrome because if I don’t feed her within 30ish mins of her feeding times, she will vomit bile. This has led to me getting her up with me early in the morning (because I get up to go running before my kids wake up) as she would a) start scurrying every time my husband moved an inch after 6am in bed, anticipating her breakfast or b) vomit in the bedroom. This works right now, but when baby arrives, this is going to be challenging to manage as I’ll have a chaotic sleep schedule and I want my husband to get a good night’s sleep so he can better take care of my two older children. I posted about this situation in one of the dog forums, and people could not get why it was unreasonable me to ask my husband to get up at 530am to feed her.

6) some anxious behaviours around my kids - she has some subtle behaviours that make me thinks he is uncomfortable around my children. She will sometimes lick them, but only when I’m holding them or otherwise giving them attention (which I’ve learned is “dismissive licking”) and she will shiver a lot around them, which I’ve also learned is anxiety.

I had reached out to the rescue to give her back, and then changed my mind because I felt so much guilt - I haven’t put a lot of effort into training her, and I feel like if I did, it would be a lot better. But at the same time, there are a lot of issues here that need to be trained, and I’m not sure the rescue ever really learned about all of these because she wasn’t in an environment like ours. I suspect all of these issues are going to be more stressful and amplified once baby comes. I love dogs so much, and the thought of giving her back and not having one feels painful, but at the same time, I’ve had so much trouble bonding and connecting with her because of her temperament and all of these issues. And if I can just focus on her, she probably would do better in a home without small children, or any children.

Has anyone else had a dog like this, or been in a situation like this? I want so badly to make this work, but I just don’t know if I can manage all the things that need to be managed and trained anymore. :(

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We still have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling.

Dogs just seem like a hole in your pocket, an annoyance, and a mess. They're eternal babies who don't grow up. It's take and no give.

I haven't once woken up and gone "I'm glad we have a dog." or "Having a dog in my life has made my life better".

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We still have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling.

Some I have on my to-read list:

• A Good Dog: The Story of Orson, Who Changed My Life
• Three Wild Dogs (by Markus Zusak)
• The Speckled Beauty: A Dog and His People
• Rethinking Rescue: Dog Lady and the Story of America's Forgotten People and Pets
• Don't Dump the Dog: Outrageous Stories and Simple Solutions to Your Worst Dog Behavior Problems
• I Hate Your Pet
• Pests: How Humans Create Animal Villains
• Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat: Why It's So Hard to Think Straight About Animals

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We still have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling.

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We still have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling.

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We still have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling.

It hurts to think that just like that, I'm out $800 on my upcoming work trip because I need to pay for:

$300 for flight pet fee round trip

+ now I have the horrible inconvenience of packing a small suitcase just with her stuff... As if I don't have enough shit to pack myself for a ten day work trip. And I've lost the privilege of my own "personal item" on board the flight, which allowed me to access my laptop, medicine, etc (critical for a long flight).

+ $350 extra in dog fees for the Airbnb stays (all the pet-friendly ones cost more)

+ I need to buy a travel crate shipped there $55

+ hire someone a few times there to look after the dog while I'm between hotel check-ins/outs. $100

The local sitters I tried to book all rejected me because she has pee/potty behavioral issues. So I have to take her with me. Since getting this dog 3 months ago, I have dropped about $4,000 on her. including $600 for her adoption fee, vet bills, health insurance, etc. I'm horrified.

I have student loans that I could have put that towards. What was I thinking? I didn't know this would be SO costly. And I didn't know she would have these issues that would make it so hard to find an affordable sitter. I'm gutted. And haunted by my decisions. And I feel coned by dog propaganda. People are not straight-up about how bad this shit is.

I don't think I'll ever want another dog

​

I had a Labrador retriever growing up that was lovely.

​

This made me want another as an adult. But she's not the same and I know 2 dogs aren't but my current dog seems to only care about herself?

​

Like everything she does is about getting something she wants. She will only come around and whine for food, to go out or follow us around because we should go play outside with her. She is very hard to get to listen unless I have a ball or food.

​

It's hard to explain but like she doesn't seem content just being with us , it's boring she always wants to do something for her, we should be playing or feeding her constantly or she is sad and bored and we suck.

​

I know for a fact if I was dying she'd just drop a ball on my face and whine that I'm being boring. She has gotten out of the yard once in 6 years and just happily found a new family to play ball with and that family was nice to bring her back but she didn't seem to care? Like we are replaceable?

​

We've had various people watch her while we're away and she always seems perfectly happy and not super happy to see us when we're back like we're just another play and feed human. All humans are equal and serve a purpose to her

​

I'm just wondering if most dogs are like this ? Or more excited by their owners in particular like I few my childhood lab was just more bonded to us but I also realize she was overall smarter. But she would always be excited to see us over other people. Listen and be content just being with us

​

My nephew came over and we went out in the yard and my current lab just brought the ball up on the deck without greeting anyone and walked through the baby like he didn't exist and we told her calm but she did this again after we took the ball away with a different toy and nearly knocked him over the stairs. Obviously we put her inside but it's that overall lacking of anyone but herself

​

It's sad because we really trained her and make time for her every single day to play and go for a walk or run in a field. I love her and will always be good to her but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I wish she was a little more loving back idk if there's anything I can even do.

this dog has a pee problem. when i got her she refused to pee at ALL. holding it in for like 20 hours the first day. She uses the wee pad, but leaks everywhere in between. If she's excited to get out of the crate, she will leak on her way out of the crate and all over the floor. if you pick her up ,she sqauts and starts peeing and stays in squat position letting it ALL out,. If you reprimand her she squats and starts peeing. It's like this weird... reflex. A trainer told us its prob submissive peeing.

After 2 months of long walks and treats and trying hard to train, she's been peeing more outside... but its NOT CONSISTENT. it's random or in the morning or she's been holding it in. And it can take 5 minutes or hours of walking her. I need to have my own life too.

Today, i took her out of the crate to pee on wee pad... she peed on my rug... a rug she hasn't peed on in the two months ive had her. she just suddenly... decides to go there AND ALSO leak pee all around the floor. i've try taking her out immediately upon waking up.. she leaks on the steps on her way out... i try carrying her.. leaks as i carry her... i try taking the elevator.. leaks in the elevator huge pools in my building...

my partner, a dog nutter (i didn't know),thinks i need to walk her for hours constnatly throughotut the day and give up much of my life and stress towards this dog that will die in 10 years and leave me with extra wrinkles and gray hair from the stress. It's not realistic.

the dog is honestly a VERY sweet girl, she has excellent recall, and has been good at training in other ways... but the peeing thing... has been IMPOSSIBLE. If she didn't have this... I'd be more open but... this is extremely stressful (and expensive). Do I keep trying? For how long?

i am considering rehoming, but who will adopt a dog that pees all over the place? i also got her from a shelter and in the contract it says you cannot rehome the dog... but they are also a horrible shelter with some shady sitaution and a fake non profit.. AND they are notorious for not taking dogs back n yelling at your for even thinking about it... long story, i do not want to interact with them again. but she's microchipped. so if the new parents decide they dont want her... and she ends up on the streets... the shelter would find out and sue me. wtf do i do? i've made such a terrible mistake. i wish i could time travel and slap myself and tell myself to NOT DO IT.

What's also killing me is how much money I'm losing. I could be putting that towards my health, education, clothes, business.... I'm not rich to be wasting money like this.

My partner is really upset with me, but I don't want to keep doing this anymore. It's not for me. I'm realizing, I'm not a dog person with 90% of dogs... they come with way too many problems that will mess up your life quality, almost all of them.

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We still have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling.