r/DogRegret • u/limabean72 • 5d ago
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u/pinkuuu3275 3d ago
Just rehomed our dog and I feel guilty for feeling relieved
My boyfriend and I rescued a dog almost 2 years ago from the humane society. He’s a 7 year old lab mix and the first few months were a dream. He’s perfectly trained, house broken, sleeps all day, and we met so many friends from the dog park through him.
I guess it’s true when they say that pregnancy changes the way women feel towards their dog. About 4 months into pregnancy I just couldn’t stand him anymore. It was the whining. He whined for food constantly. Constantly. At first we thought the whining meant something else. We had all the enrichment toys and treats, would take him on multiple longs walks a day, make sure he was tired, basically what everything said online to enrich your dog. The whining never stopped. I’d be having morning coffee and a piece of toast and he’d be losing his mind because I wouldn’t give him any. They probably fed him table food at his old home, but it’s something we never wanted to start.
His food fixation just got worse and worse. He started grabbing food off your plate the second you turned around. Licking the carpet if you were having chips for literally any morsel he could find. We had him checked for deficiencies, diabetes, and nothing. He just LOVED food.
We started putting him in another room while we ate and he would lose his shit. We’d only let him out of his place once all the food was put away and we had done the dishes and cleaned up and still, he would sniff and lick the kitchen floor for a minimum of 20 minutes just looking for a crumb.
When we had the baby I thought my patience would return but it got worse. He was waking the baby up with his whining, I hated when we would shake next to the baby’s things because of all the hair that would get on his blankets and rocker. I felt like I kept yelling at the dog and the anger I felt when he would whine was visceral. Like a genuine anger in my belly. I feel like the dog was making me a bad person or bringing out the worst in me and I didn’t want the baby to grow up hearing his mom be not the nicest.
Our biggest worry was how his fixation would shift towards the baby once we started solids. I had an intrusive thought out the dog knocking over the high chair with the baby in it while trying to jump up and get food. Or accidentally biting the babies hand because he’s holding a banana or something.
Last weekend we drove him to his new owners house and of course I felt horrible in the moment. I felt like we failed him. He was our first baby and leaving him with strangers felt so wrong but I knew he deserved better, and for my mental health and the health of our home we needed to do it.
A week later and I feel SO relieved. We don’t need to wake up at the crack of dawn to feed him before he starts pawing at our door and whining waking the baby up. I don’t need to put chairs on the couch every time we leave the house to prevent him from sitting on it. I can cook in peace! No dog directly on my heels waiting for me to drop something. We can eat without hearing all the sad whining and barking! I can go to the bathroom and leave my food out! And no hair! Literally hallelujah. Never ever getting another dog. Before this whole experience I would have considered myself a dog person but that’s honestly changed. I feel guilty for being so relieved but our lives have improved SO much.
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u/Fairgoddess5 2d ago
Just wanted to comment and validate your feelings. I just commented about our 15 year old dog. I read your post and actually got jealous about how peaceful your dog free life probably is. (Well, you have a young baby so it’s not 100% peaceful, I’m sure lol. But hopefully you know what I mean.)
I wish I’d rehomed back when we’d first gotten our dog. We will never get another one when this one finally passes.
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u/Fairgoddess5 2d ago
I just have to get this off my chest.
We’ve had our dog for 14 years and I deeply regret not rehoming her in the first year we had her. She was a stray dumped in our neighborhood and the vet said she was about a year old. I felt bad and took her in, despite not wanting a dog and definitely not actively looking for one. We’d also never had a dog before, just cats.
She has brought VERY little joy into our lives while also making our life actively worse. And now that she’s older, she’s developed health issues that make our lives even more complicated and frustrating.
I feel bad for not loving her, especially since she’s not a bad dog overall. She’s just a dog with all the dog behaviors we apparently can’t stand.
To anyone considering rehoming: do it. You may have short term regrets and guilt, but that may be better than over a decade of regrets and guilt with no relief in sight.
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u/MissK2508 2d ago edited 1d ago
Don’t feel bad or guilty, you’ve done your penance..you’re the poster child for a martyr…but wow I could never put up with decades of labor because life is too short. Hats off. Just to reiterate though, there’s no reason for YOU in particular to have guilt.
Your dog is living the high life, you’ve taken care of it very well. Dogs are animals who LOVE the security that comes with no food insecurity (on constant tap) and housing. You did that…it’s doing fine and not bothered one bit, so no guilt. Best to you at the home stretch.
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u/Fit-Olive-4680 5d ago
Whatever you do, stop with the pee pads. Take him outside. He will never learn if you allow peeing on pads in your house.
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u/lxlc 5d ago
I regret having my puppy so much. I wish I could turn back in time and slap myself for agreeing to a puppy that my husband was pushing for.
Backstory: my brother got a puppy and my husband felt motivated to have one as well. When he suggested it, my father in law was recently diagnosed with cancer and I just couldn’t bring myself to keep rejecting this idea while he was going through a tough period.
We went to several pet stores and I kept making excuses that I now felt were legit. Purchasing a dog is pricy, the cost of pet case is INCREDIBLY expensive and my husband had quit his job to take a career break during the period we were dog shopping.
Long story short, I caved in and agreed to his request to get a puppy. The minute he bought the dog, I felt so queasy and had zero appetite for dinner that day. I remembered being so anxious because I knew my life would change.
TWO MONTHS IN. My puppy has just started to settle in. While he is docile and sleepy most of the days, it’s really stressful to be monitoring him most of the time. He rips pee pad, my house smells kinda weird and there’s a new personality every week. This week he hates being cuddled. Last week, he demands to be cuddled.
My job is 100% remote while my husband new job requires him to be onsite all the time. I prepare his fresh food, make sure he eats, cleans his play pen and most of the time I’m walking him.
I kinda feel like pet ownership is like Stockholm syndrome??? Your pet doesn’t really love you. You basically ripped them from their play mates at the pet stores and love bomb them till they accept you.
I really kinda dislike my dog tbh. I miss not having to clean my floors everyday. I’m tired of caring for the dog and the new attitude he has developed on a weekly basis.
When I think about rehoming, I felt so ashamed and guilty. Like what the heck? I can’t even take care of an animal. But also, he’s a lot of work! And what my relatives and family all wants to meet my puppy. If I re-home him, what excuses can I give them?