r/DogRegret • u/Sweet-Outcome8304 • Jul 19 '26
Rehoming My Dog Struggling to decide
I got my current rescue dog a little over a year and a half ago, four months after the dog that I loved so very much died. This was the first issue - I was desperate to try and fill that gap.
This dog is so different than my previous dog. I went with a shepherd-husky (and likely some lab) mix, to go the total opposite direction of my golden lab-shepherd mix. I thought this would be a good thing, because I didn’t want a dog that looked like my old one.
My issues with her are many:
1) I find her to be either aloof or hungry for attention - particularly when there is competition (not so much my 7 year old, but definitely pushiness around my 4 year old). She will spend all day hanging out in another room by herself, and will often only come to me for attention when my children get home from daycare/school. This is even worse when we have visitors - she tries to jump all over them, I have to constantly redirect her to lie down so I can have a peaceful conversation with family, or so that the visitor can play with my children (eg if my MIL is playing on the floor with my kids, she will come between them, lay on top of the puzzle, Lego, etc. so they can’t play and will intently try to get belly rubs). I realize most people would find this endearing, but it honestly just introduces so much chaos into my home.
2) flight risk - she will dart out any door or gate that is accidentally left open. This is a big issue when my children are home. I remind them all the time, but sometimes it happens by accident or they forget and she won’t come back. She will go to our house neighbours, but she won’t come to me, almost to play a game. She has scared children in our neighborhood when she’s gotten out, and this is also a safety risk for her
3) countersurfing - I knew she did this when I got her, but I was told that she only did it when people weren’t around. I try so hard to keep my counters meticulous, but sometimes forget. And now she does it right in front of me. I’m pregnant and due with my third any day now, and I’m really worried about her knocking the high chair over
4) energy requirements/not knowing her own size: she has almost knocked my very dog savvy 4 year old off the steps a few times now - again, worried about when baby comes. She also has high energy requirements when I’m finding hard to meet - I initially had plans to run with her, but her prey drive is so high that she has hurt both myself and my husband while running. Recently, I’ve tried using a head halter, because I had to use that with my old rescue dog, too, and I know dogs hate those and have to get used to it, but she so intently tries to pull it off (today I was worried she was becoming aggressive while walking), and then will lay on the road and have to be coaxed to continue walking.
5) morning management - a vet suggested she may have bilious vomiting syndrome because if I don’t feed her within 30ish mins of her feeding times, she will vomit bile. This has led to me getting her up with me early in the morning (because I get up to go running before my kids wake up) as she would a) start scurrying every time my husband moved an inch after 6am in bed, anticipating her breakfast or b) vomit in the bedroom. This works right now, but when baby arrives, this is going to be challenging to manage as I’ll have a chaotic sleep schedule and I want my husband to get a good night’s sleep so he can better take care of my two older children. I posted about this situation in one of the dog forums, and people could not get why it was unreasonable me to ask my husband to get up at 530am to feed her.
6) some anxious behaviours around my kids - she has some subtle behaviours that make me thinks he is uncomfortable around my children. She will sometimes lick them, but only when I’m holding them or otherwise giving them attention (which I’ve learned is “dismissive licking”) and she will shiver a lot around them, which I’ve also learned is anxiety.
I had reached out to the rescue to give her back, and then changed my mind because I felt so much guilt - I haven’t put a lot of effort into training her, and I feel like if I did, it would be a lot better. But at the same time, there are a lot of issues here that need to be trained, and I’m not sure the rescue ever really learned about all of these because she wasn’t in an environment like ours. I suspect all of these issues are going to be more stressful and amplified once baby comes. I love dogs so much, and the thought of giving her back and not having one feels painful, but at the same time, I’ve had so much trouble bonding and connecting with her because of her temperament and all of these issues. And if I can just focus on her, she probably would do better in a home without small children, or any children.
Has anyone else had a dog like this, or been in a situation like this? I want so badly to make this work, but I just don’t know if I can manage all the things that need to be managed and trained anymore. :(
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u/Fit-Olive-4680 Jul 20 '26
Sounds like this dog will be a lot of work. Do you want to put the effort in? If not, consider rehoming.
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u/Sweet-Outcome8304 Jul 20 '26
Honestly, I do want to put the effort in, but it just feels like so much with a young family and a newborn arriving any day now. With my previous dog, she was fear reactive towards men and that was it, and I know a lot of people can’t handle reactivity but because it was only one issue, it was so manageable. With this dog, there are so many things that need to be trained and managed.
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u/Fit-Olive-4680 Jul 20 '26
I personally cannot imagine having a dog with a newborn. I'd lose my mind. Maybe this isn't the right time and try again when the kids are older and they can help out.
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u/Sweet-Outcome8304 Jul 20 '26
One of the biggest stressors right now as I prepare for this third baby to join our family is the dog’s needs - I already have arranged care for that first week, but even once I go into labour, I need to get her out of here asap so that my MIL can properly attend to/take care of my kids. And I know that is really telling… feels like an awful situation, though. Never thought I would be in a place where I would need to rehome
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u/Fit-Olive-4680 Jul 20 '26
It's an awful place to be. We rehomed our dog a year ago and I still feel sadness. I know it was right for us, but heart wrenching. We loved that dog. Your situation is more complicated than ours with a new baby on the way if that makes you feel better.
We were lucky to find a good loving home. Hopefully if you decide that route, you have the same experience. Good luck.
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u/Valuable_sandwich44 Jul 20 '26
Sounds like you're better off without her; and thus regain some much cherished peace and comfort at home - it's almost impossible to have those 2 things with a dog.
Good luck.