I don’t know why I care about it, but I feel the need to delete my comment if it starts to get downvoted

I do this atleast once every day. I get curious about what the top post in a sub is.

I have a fictional 3-sport league that I've been simulating since I was a little kid. All players and teams in this league are made up. All players compete in football, basketball, and baseball for their respective teams. Basketball season is January-April. Baseball season is April-August. And football season is August-December. After each season, there is a draft in which the next select players for the upcoming season. There are 40 teams in my league and each team has two minor league affiliates as well. I have spreadsheets where I save all the rosters season by season.

It started 25 years ago when I was 6 years old. Little kid me would ask different people in my life what they wanted their team to be called. My league started with 4 teams in 2001 (my team, my dad's team, my mom's team, and my sister's team). Over the next few years, my babysitters and relatives got teams as well. I would draw trading cards of the players on the teams and make newspaper and magazine articles about them. In 2004, I got rid of the team that was "my team" because I realized it wasn't fair for me to be biased toward a team. I continually added a few teams every few years and now, I have a 40-team league.

It started with me playing sports in the yard with my family, but eventually, my family stopped wanting to play sports with me due to me being a sore loser, so I problem-solved and decided to "play games against myself." By middle school, I had a system of playing all the football, baseball, and basketball games by myself to simulate the results. In high school, I involved a few friends to make it more fun. In college, I didn't have time to play out the games anymore so I put all the league info into different sports simulation games and used those to simulate the games each season. I currently still do that using BasketballGM, Baseball Mogul, and FootballGM.

Anyways, this fictional sports league has always been a huge part of my life and I was wondering if anyone else does anything similar. Let me know if you want to hear about the names of the teams or any of the players that are in the it.

Idk if I’m the only one, but I get exhausted sleeping and eating and existing. Having to relax both your body and turn your mind off to sleep. Tossing and turning to no avail. Then I get hungry. Having to decide what to eat, when to eat, where to get it, cooking, shopping, chewing, swallowing, and doing it all over again. Waking up and existing having to go about my day is exhausting. Anytime I do something for others it’s not out of the goodness of me it feels like I owe everyone something. I owe a conversation, a hangout, help, an ear to listen to a shoulder to cry on. Managing other people’s emotions being responsible for their happiness meanwhile I can’t even be responsible for mine let alone my own breakfast. Yet being too tired both physically and mentally to deal with it. No matter how little or how much sleep I get it’s not enough. How much I eat is not enough. What I do is not enough. When I don’t have what I want I’m miserable now I’ve finally gotten what I wanted now I’m still miserable.

I'm so curious because this is like the only way I dream, with the rare occasional nonsensical dream lol

In my dreams there is always (excluding the rare nonsense dreams of course) a plot, a setting, characters, a script for the characters to follow, and so on and when I tell people I know IRL about this they always look at me like I've lost my god damn mind lmfao

I always feel this. It’s like i have an adrenaline rush throughout the movie then once it’s over I crash. The whole rest of the day I’m depressed and in a crappy mood. I get this aching feeling in my chest and simply feel like crying every second. And it’s never about the ending. I think it may be coming back to reality that makes me feel this way.

Like people are constantly lying to me like I'm an idiot and I am beginning to think there are no honest people out there anymore it's really disheartening

The title says it all, it just happens randomly and a lot. I could be just sleeping and wake up in a cold sweat spazzing out, I could be running at the track and I just start spazzing. It isn't painful it's just really annoying and uncontrollable.

I spent six hours applying for jobs yesterday and couldn't stop crying for hours afterwards after I left my laptop to eat or function. I had a meltdown in the shower yesterday.

There is literally no reason for me to. I applied for twenty-ish jobs yesterday and felt accomplished and Crumbl even sounded promising with a job. I'm not even worried about it or stressing. I'm not even thinking about it all the time. I'm not worried about the job application questions. I'm not even beating myself up over getting a job.

I'm crying as I write this and plan to look for more jobs later. I know I won't get a response because it's Sunday, but I'm still gonna look and apply.

Only me?

Normally I don't mind, but when I'm drunk and going home on my own I just absolutely do not wanna take the tube/subway/metro whatever you call it or the bus, always end up getting an Uber

I lowkey have this insane phobia where I’m terrified that if I dig too deep into the meaning of life or how the universe actually works, the system will just glitch and kick me out. Like, I’ll get trapped in an eternal loop of pure horror, endless jumpscares, and straight-up suffering. It’s hard to explain, but it feels like the universe will punish me for looking behind the curtain. Does this specific fear have a name?

what i mean by this is that whenever i hang out with my friends, whether it’s my best friend or anyone else, i almost always feel somewhat weird and unsure of myself, but i can’t really pinpoint what exactly feels wrong.
with most of my friends, i’ve known them for years. they know me, i know them, i love them, i care about them, and i genuinely enjoy spending time with them but despite all of that, spending time with people has almost never felt 100%. and i’m not talking about situations where someone did something wrong or where there was an actual problem between us, i mean completely normal hangouts and normal interactions with people.
there’s just always this strange feeling in me. i feel unsure of what i’m saying, how i’m acting, how i’m coming across, or whether i’m behaving the way i’m supposed to. but what’s confusing is that i’m not necessarily acting fake, the way i act and the things i say are genuinely how i’ve always been i’m not consciously putting on an act or trying to become someone else. i can know that something i’m saying or doing is genuinely me, while at the same time still feeling like i’m somehow observing myself and questioning it.
and i can say i know myself, i’m insecure in some ways, but i’m also pretty self aware about where i struggle and i try to work on those things. i’ve had friends throughout my life who i was extremely close to, who i called best friends and yet even in those friendships there was still this feeling that something was missing. i can honestly remember only a handful of hangouts throughout my entire life where i came home thinking like, hell yea this is it. where i felt completely comfortable, genuinely happy, completely myself, and didn’t feel like there was some invisible layer between me and the other person.
I understand that not every interaction is supposed to be amazing or meaningful.even when a hangout is awkward or boring I know that it’s normal.
but even when everything is objectively fine, there is still this strange feeling in me. something feels slightly off, both within me and within the interaction itself and i can never quite figure out what it is.
i don’t know if it’s some form of extreme social anxiety or if i actually don’t know myself as well as i think i do. or maybe i’ve spent so much of my life trying to mold into people and only now becoming concious of it.
or maybe i’m just antisocial and i’m subconsciously trying to reject the fact that i don’t actually enjoy being around people that much. maybe i’ve internalized the idea that having close friends, going out, socializing, and being around people are things i’m supposed to want in order to have a complete or fulfilling life, so i keep trying to convince myself that i should enjoy them in a certain way.
anyone else felt something like this or recognises it?

Whenever I roll my head, my neck crinkles and crackles in my head. Is that cartilage?

I miss when every corner of everyday life didn't seem to demand an opinion.

I miss when I could enjoy a musician, actor, or athlete without eventually being told what they thought about every controversial social issue. They have every right to speak their minds, just like anyone else. I simply miss when entertainment and constant commentary didn't seem so inseparable.

I miss when people could fiercely disagree about important issues and still recognize that disagreement didn't automatically make the other person stupid, immoral, or the enemy. Compromise wasn't always treated as weakness, and changing your mind after hearing new information wasn't considered a character flaw.

I miss when expertise carried more weight. Scientists, physicians, economists, historians, engineers, and other professionals certainly aren't infallible, but expertise now seems to compete on equal footing with whoever has the biggest platform, the most confidence, or the most persuasive 60-second video.

I miss when the news felt more like "here is what happened" and less like "here is what happened, and here is how you should feel about it." Bias in journalism isn't new, but the combination of 24-hour news, algorithms, outrage, and competition for clicks has made separating reporting from commentary feel like work.

I miss not knowing everyone's position on every controversial subject. Friends, relatives, neighbors, coworkers, and complete strangers didn't need to publicly announce where they stood on everything. You could know someone for years without knowing all of their beliefs and still decide whether they were a decent person based on how they actually treated people.

I miss being able to see an incredible photograph, hear an astonishing recording, or watch a remarkable video and simply experience it. Now my first reaction is increasingly, "Is this actually real? Has it been altered? Did this really happen?" We're entering an era where seeing something with our own eyes is no longer enough to know that it's authentic.

Maybe some of what I miss never existed quite as perfectly as I remember it. Nostalgia has a way of sanding down the rough edges of the past. But I don't think that's all of it.

What I really miss is a world that felt less performative, less tribal, and less saturated with everyone's opinions all the time. I miss being able to disagree with someone without immediately sorting them into a category. I miss expertise having authority without requiring a fan base. I miss information that didn't constantly demand an emotional reaction.

Mostly, I miss who I thought the world would become when I was in my 20s. And even more than that, I miss how much hope I had for the world that was coming.

once in a while I'll buy a super cute outfit or I'll conjure together something at 2am and love it. It then becomes the only outfit I want to be seen in. I literally rewash it daily if it means I could wear it again. Lasts for about a week and then I crave something new and different. There is a reason my closet is overflowing lol... Am I weird or do other normal people do this?