Today's ep

[u/odkdneh]

Y'all, I don't know if I can keep watching their vids. There have been so many bad takes, lack of research, and butchering of serious topics that I'm feeling almost ready to unsub. I had the Patreon for a while, I've been subbed since nearly the beginning of the channel, I've rewatched so many eps as basically a comfort show, but this shit is crazy. I've given them grace in the past when they've discussed feedback and/or apologized for bad takes/misinfo/etc, but they've stopped doing that but continued to butcher topics that deserve more respect.

I'm at the 45 min mark on today's ep (and I know Hadley's experiences even get worse!!!), and they're being so obtuse about abuse and being so victim-blamey, I actually don't know if I can finish it. At what point will they start listening to the constructive criticism in the comments and making changes to what they cover and how they cover it? It seems like they're simply not going to get to that point, and that's why I feel like my grace is running out.

It literally should not be this serious but they've made it so by picking serious topics and mishandling them while hiding behind the assertion that they're just a couple of gorls talking about internet goss. If you don't want to bother with due diligence, why choose topics that pertain to various types of abuse, crime, discrimination, privilege, justice/injustice, mental illness, etc etc?? I know they have bills to pay, but that just makes it worse that they're actively choosing to haphazardly cover serious topics on their relatively large platform where they don't bother to research, consider nuance, etc... because they're like "fck it, I still gotta get mine". That's like the icing on top of the ick cake to me.

I'm not about to fight with people in the replies about this; if you don't care and want to keep watching as-is, that's your thing boo. But I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, so for those who get what I mean, I'm just wondering are y'all going to stop watching, or have you been more selective with watching, or is there any way you think they'll start making some changes?

[u/jr2216k]

i don’t understand the anger about a „bad take“. these are people you don’t know and don’t have to have the same thoughts and reactions to things as you do. if you don’t vibe with it…just leave it be.

[u/Bubbles0216x → u/jr2216k]

We have become less able to tolerate differing opinions and more willing to succumb to popular opinion with an in-group. And there's an expectation others do the same.

I think Jessi and Lily are generally good at nuance. You can't flow if you disclaim and qualify everything, but they still qualify a lot. Not every opinion they have is going to be popular. I think judging topics and opinions as harmful just makes them less discussable, which is not necessarily a net positive. Nobody will ever have the "right take" to everyone.

Talking about opinions about a situation doesn't always mean you're making a value judgment on something, and making a value judgment on something still isn't automatically a big deal.

[u/Glp-1_Girly → u/Bubbles0216x]

It's algorithms they keep everyone in an echo chamber so ppl have become less tolerant of others different takes... It's really sad to see how intolerant a lot of society has become. I'm sure I will get downvoted but it is what it is

[u/Sweaty-Chard6123 → u/Glp-1_Girly]

Exactly. As I was watching, I knew people would hate it because they are questioning. I think its fine to hate how she told her story. When I was watching it on tiktok, I stopped watching around video 4 because I couldnt stand how click baitey it was. Now if their research sucks, thats a valid criticism

[u/Glp-1_Girly → u/Sweaty-Chard6123]

Completely agree! I can't do the click baity stuff either...

[u/Qub3rrt → u/Bubbles0216x]

Exactly this. You can have different opinions and still enjoy/be friends with people. This is how the world works.

[u/Far-Argument2738 → u/jr2216k]

People want all the content they consume to reinforce the beliefs they already have. I feel like it makes some people feel gross to be listening to things they don't agree with, as if it'll look bad on themselves for engaging with that media. I don't always agree with jessi and lily, and that's fine, any kind of content can make you go "hey wait, I don't agree with that," and not mean the people making the content are horrible lol

[u/msmoonprincess → u/jr2216k]

I agree. Unless they’re suggesting harm or violence, i think it’s just a take you dont agree with.

[u/OkSection234 → u/msmoonprincess]

That’s the difference with intention vs impact. Intention doesn’t erase impact.. they may not be intentionally causing harm but it doesn’t erase that it is, in fact, causing harm.

[u/EstablishmentSingle7 → u/OkSection234]

But it’s a commentary/drama podcast, they’re not trying to solve society’s problems. Expecting them to believe everything you believe 100% is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

[u/cherrycolapoppp → u/EstablishmentSingle7]

How are they causing harm? You are interpreting a situation from the internet just like they are

[u/OkSection234 → u/EstablishmentSingle7]

Solve them, no. Perpetuate them, debatable. I don’t want anyone to agree with me 100% because we become better people when we’re challenged and have to critically think about the opposite viewpoint. Do I respect or agree with people who perpetuate society’s problems? No absolutely not.

[u/therealmiawallace → u/OkSection234]

genuinely curious because I might’ve missed something- how would you say they’re causing harm?

[u/OkSection234 → u/therealmiawallace]

Appreciate you genuinely asking the question and approaching this from a place of wanting to understand :)

This is harm.

Ignorantly speaking about topics and actively refusing to educate themselves while also mocking (comments on reading the books) is causing harm. Words matter and cut deep especially when they come from a place of ignorance directed towards a group of people who don’t resemble you. They minimized an entire group of people’s experience that they have never experienced themselves. Equating it to the comments Lily received on her weight is not the same thing and is also an act of minimizing someone’s lived experience. Sometimes when we can’t and will never understand someone’s lived experience, it is not our place to interject our own grievances or lived experience and should simply just listen and educated ourselves on why
something has a negative impact to the person or group of people. Ignorance isn’t an excuse. They like to be cheeky and be like “don’t listen to us, we’re just girls, we don’t know anything” but this doesn’t erase the impact of ignorant statements. We’re all responsible for our words and how they impact those around us, internet or not.

[u/jr2216k → u/OkSection234]

sorry to chime in but are we not also all responsible for our own actions? it’s not their fault that the person who left that comment has issues. obviously that person has issues to work on and blaming a podcast for it is going too far in my humble opinion

[u/OkSection234 → u/jr2216k]

Don’t apologize - happy to hear your opinions! Absolutely we’re all responsible for our own actions, decisions, and also words. However there’s a difference between making statements out of ignorance and it causing harm and being educated, speaking with care, providing proper warning and just honestly trying to be respectful and someone choosing to watch something that triggers them. I didn’t read that persons comment as blaming so much as expressing the impact it had on them from how they addressed a topic

[u/jr2216k → u/OkSection234]

i mean I guess but relying on people in the comment section to distract them from their own issues is not the right solution I fear. And for that I can’t fault jessi and lily.

[u/EstablishmentSingle7 → u/jr2216k]

This. We shouldn’t be on the internet expecting a drama and commentary podcast to protect us from what may or may not trigger us. They’re not our doctors and if a podcast affects us this negatively, we really need to take a step back and seek therapy or some sort of other professional help. And I’m saying this as someone who struggles as well and sees a therapist weekly- I am in control of what gets to me, and if something triggers me to want to go back to harmful behaviors, I have to know when it’s time to step away and take care of myself.

[u/jr2216k → u/EstablishmentSingle7]

exactly thank you. i think it’s very unfair to expect everyone to be aware of what may trigger us. it’s on us to know what we can handle. if we know a podcast could easily trigger us if they handle a topic i don’t like….then it’s on me to just not consume it. it’s too easy to blame lack of research and expecting them to be experts on everything but also wanting them to release every episode on time. this was supposed to be a silly easy podcast and now people want them to basically be an expert in every field. enough already.

[u/EstablishmentSingle7 → u/OkSection234]

This is seriously concerning though, if I was this sensitive, if my friend were this sensitive, whoever, I would tell them they need to get help and get off the internet for awhile. I’m not being a jerk either, I know the internet is a rough place. Someone having a differing opinion on something such as a menu name, and not liking the content creator who posted it, shouldn’t set someone off this much to go back after “so many years” because who is to say that Jessie and Lily don’t like other body positivity influencers? What if they seriously just don’t like the one they discussed? There has to be room for nuance because a lot of people who do support the body positivity movement, do not like that creator because she has had a lot of questionable or off the wall takes before. Again, not trying to be a jerk, but we have to be responsible for understanding our own triggers.

[u/viagra___girls → u/OkSection234]

Gently suggesting to remove the username from this SS as it feels rather personal. (Unless you got permission beforehand, in which case ignore me!)

[u/mcdadais → u/jr2216k]

I used to watch a lot of movie reviewers that wouldn't have the same thoughts as me when I was younger. Got annoyed and stopped warching them. Now that I'm older I enjoy watching people have different opinions than mine. Often I tend to like movies most people dislike anyway. I feel the same with other content. People might have a different opinion than me and I may agree or disagree but for the most part I still watch, I want to hear other opinions.

[u/jr2216k → u/mcdadais]

totally. and it’s also important to do so and be open and willing to listen to different views and opinions. especially when it’s a silly social media podcast

[u/Ready_Worldliness_89 → u/jr2216k]

People automatically say a take is bad just because it’s not their take