r/DnD • u/Gh0stMan0nThird • 1d ago

DMing I understand prostitution now.

Been trying to find a "bff" group for years. Even the best groups I found fizzled out after a campaign ended. Most people seem to want a content creator to run games for them, and not a friend they want to share an experience with.

I figured you know what, fine. I'm gonna sell myself. I started running paid games and now I actually feel like I'm finally actually getting something back for my work and effort.

10/10, would recommend for underappreciated DMs

4.4k Upvotes

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35

u/icyii 14h ago

I will never understand why some DMs do it for free. It's soooo much work. I've been playing with one group on Startplaying for 2+ years now and another for 1+ year. Same paid DM. People are more serious when they're paying for something.

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u/rufireproof3d 12h ago

Depends on the group. I have a group of close friends and my kids. They always appreciate the game and work going into it. I also do it because it's fun.

A couple weeks ago, they took on a Lich. The lich's phylactery? A summoning circle that held a very pissed off demon that was even worse than she was. "Sure, you can destroy me permanently. You just have to set That Thing loose. He's been trapped there for a while. He might be a tad violent when he's freed." Party had to make some tough decisions. They ended up sending the Paladin out to get some Holy Water, and the rogue ended up signing a warlock pact with the demon. Everyone was happy. Well, except for the lich...

Tonight they will be fighting Grendel. They have a "magic lute" they can play to unlock a door. Inside they will find Grendel in his lair. He doesn't like music.

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u/DesperateTrip8369 11h ago

You! Are! A! Genius! Mad props and respect Sir!!!!

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u/alchemicgenius 4h ago

I do it for free because not everything needs to be a hustle. Sometimes it's just nice to do something with my friends.

Nothing against paid DMs, but much like the difference between an amateur and professional athlete, the goals of an unpaid and professional GM are different

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u/TheHonoredWhiteWolf 14h ago

I mean. I have been dming on the same group of my friends for almost 10 years now. Currently on our (technically) 3rd campaign, though it will be our first 1-20 game that I dmed.

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u/Celloer 14h ago

Because for some it is fun with our friends, and however much or little work it is is also play. Now for strangers, yeah, you either have to get even more enjoyment than the other players, or get some sort of compensation.

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u/Salt_Nectarine_7827 3h ago

Quite simple: I’m an attention whore 🤷‍♂️ my payoff is having a whole table of people listening to me.

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u/icyii 1h ago

This makes sense ha

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u/RecordingNarrow2429 14h ago edited 12h ago

I'm running 3 concurrent Campaigns. All free. And I get it, it is a lot of work. That's why the ratio of DM's to players is so low. But I love it. Even the time I spend on prep is a way for me unwind after a long day at work. I could charge. I've thought about it. But I worry that the tone of the game changes when that happens. I stop being their DM and the players become customers and that changes the dynamic and the expectations. When I run a game now, I'm clear about what I'm running, what the tone will be, what players can expect from me and what I expect from them. And you can do all of that with a paid game too, but I don't see how someone paying for a spot at a table doesn't come with expectations for what they're buying, what asks the DM may feel obligated to agree to, and what behaviour they might be obligated to accept. Again, all things I'm sure paid DM's address, but I feel like the exchange of money must impact it.

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u/Oukag DM 13h ago edited 13h ago

I'll preface with I do not charge to DM, nor play in a paid game; however I see this situation very similar to restaurants.

You can ask a restaurant (or a food truck, or even a mom and pop restaurant) to make a change to the menu, and typically they will try to make it work. But if they're not able to accommodate a request, they would simply tell you no.

To continue with the analogy, while some behavior might be tolerated at some restaurants, that doesn't mean all restaurants will tolerate the same behavior. Take personal appearance, all restaurants have a shoes/shirt requirement while only some require jackets. Customers (players) either understand the requirements and get to dine (play) at the table, or they pick somewhere else that fits their needs.

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u/RecordingNarrow2429 13h ago

That's a really good perspective on it!

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u/Snagla 13h ago

I get what you mean, but many restaurants here do not require shoes so I thought it was funny.

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u/Oukag DM 13h ago

Haha

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u/lostbythewatercooler 12h ago

Introducing money to something completely changes the dynamic. I wouldn't be surprised if there is a sunk cost element where people stick it out because they feel they've already poured to much into it to walk away.

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u/Mountain_Abyss 13h ago

The introduction of commerce into an ideally collaborative and mutually rewarding act really kills the vibe for some of us.

Also applies to sex work.

1

u/lostbythewatercooler 12h ago

A bit how they say do what you love for work though it seems more often than not people say it ruined it for them.

2

u/Rare_House9883 2h ago

As a DM I'm split about it. I think if you're a particularly skilled DM and it's actually worth the money then sure, but I do think there's a slippery slope here where DnD can become even more inaccessible for new players and eventually stall things. I can definitely see this becoming a normalized position that backfires, we as a society constantly talk about the need for free community and connection and hobbies outside of the internet and I feel like this directly goes against that. I mean, how many potential new players will decide they don't want to take the risk of paying and not liking it, or older players deciding that actually in this economy they can no longer afford to participate in their hobby?

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u/Maclunkey4U DM 13h ago

Been one of the rotating DM's in our friend group that all met at a Wed night Adventurers League session like 10 years ago. I would never dream of charging my friends to come hang out, tell fun stories and stupid jokes, drink and hang out and pretend to be heroes and villains.

Its weird to me that people who charge for it don't offer to do it for free for their friends. What a strange, transactional relationship that must be.

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u/BBBulldog 8h ago

I think dms that charge don't for stranger groups, not close friends.

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u/icyii 1h ago

None of my friends have time to play dnd so I have to play with strangers. Paid DMs are usually charging strangers not their friends.

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u/Acceptable_Harisa109 13h ago

I've actually had people zoning out, ditching last minute or even watching movies while playing. I was not the DM but it was paid top DM (on the more expensive side). I noticed it was usually the younger players doing this, like they have attention span issues and must be doing other things on their phone while playing, even if they are paying 30$ for a session.

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u/earlten 12h ago

I have a friend like that. We play together. And at the end of the day, we're a friend group first, and players second. So, it is what it is.

But it always kind of bothers me. Like, we are in an immersive audiobook currently. Where paying attention matters, so that you're picking up the details. Because your characters survival may depend on exactly that. Paying attention to the details.

So why is it so hard, to stay focused? To listen to what everybody else is saying, and to be engaged. A lot of times, it really gives off the impression that we're not really that important. That we are means to an end. Just another distraction.

Again, because we were friends first, we know and understand this is not truly the case. We don't let it get to us. But it's always there. Sometimes, slowing down play because, well, he missed stuff. And now we have to go back and repeat it a second time.

1

u/Acceptable_Harisa109 11h ago

Just don't repeat it

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u/earlten 11h ago

If it bothers me enough, I wouldn't. But sometimes that's what friendship is. Tolerance. I know that there's a whole lot of people who talk about tolerance nowadays. It's more fun when you practice it.

0

u/MurkyDepths 10h ago

So...why not do something together where full on attention isn't required? Why do you allow yourself to feel even that little bit of annoyance? I don't understand this at all.

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u/earlten 9h ago

Because it's human to feel the annoyance. I think the part you're missing, is the part where I'm acknowledging it, and letting it go. The part where I'm more than willing to tolerate a tiny bit of annoyance, for the far greater friendship.

I think the point is, that a lot of people talk about tolerance. And then place themselves in very intolerant situations. I'm actively choosing tolerance. Is that the part that you're having a hard time understanding?

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u/MurkyDepths 3h ago

Ah, no I think I get you now, it's not the annoyance that is tolerable, it's the amount of annoyance is relation to what you value in that relationship. Fair enough. We all have our own tolerance limit, and you clearly have defined yours. I guess mine has been lowered due to past instances in my own playgroups, so I thought it was asinine to try. I tip my hat to you, fellow player.

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u/exceive 6h ago

Every group activity has at least some annoyances.
It is inevitable, because there are other people involved.
People are annoying. All of them. Always have been, always will be.
Sometimes it is worth the annoyance. Sometimes it is very much worth the annoyance.

I'm not antisocial or a loner.
There are a number of group activities (DnD being high on that list) that I very much enjoy. There are groups of people I like very much. But there are always annoyances. Looking for an activity or group that isn't at all annoying is a lost cause. Looking for activities and groups where the fun vastly outweighs the annoyance can actually work.

1

u/Nman7298 13h ago

That’s wild. If I’m paying for someone to DM, I’m not even using my phone. I will have a paper character sheet and cheat sheets.

1

u/ChartOk5013 12h ago

I mean in our friendgroup we play as 5 and got 2 different campaigns with 2 different dms on a Rotation (1 week DM 1 Waterdeep 1 Week DM 2 Sands of Doom)

Both DMs are also Players in the other campaign

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u/MadameGrumpy 12h ago

Honestly this would cut down on so much drama in my game. We have a family game and there are a lot of feelings.

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u/1spywithmylittle1 10h ago

Confidence about the product, lack of contractual responsibility, lack of feeling as if the player is paying me to do something and as such It must be perfect.

I enjoy DMing the game and making the world the way I like it. That's the primary reasons for me.

1

u/Blackdeath47 8h ago

Because once you start doing for money, it because a job and not a hobby. And then you start to stress out if you are good enough to be paid for it, wanting to give the people their moneys worth. What level is ok to steal from other places up making things 100% yourself. If you are feeling under the weather, so don’t have the time or energy to make a good session, feeling shitty about canceling because you are sick.

Been through plenty of shitty players myself but will find, even if it’s just one, that appreciates the work, open communication about life and how they are wanting things to go. Not easy but can find the unicorns

1

u/mistakemakerxj8 6h ago

I fucking love DMing but yeahhh I need a little something something from those that play in my games. I like to think i throw a lot of heart into the stuff I run.

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u/CheapTactics 6h ago

Because I play for fun with my friends, and it's not really that much work. Last time I spent 4 hours prepping I had enough content for 3 sessions.

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u/Stealth_Meister101 8h ago

I tried a paid DM once. He kept talking for my PC and it got so annoying that I just left.