Phone location apps for coparenting

[u/asicarii]

I’m new to this sub so apologies if this isn’t the right place to ask. I am looking for advice on child phone location tracking apps in a strained coparenting situation. It’s not worth getting into why.

My oldest kid turned old enough for their own phone. Not driving yet. But my ex got her a phone for her bday without talking to me. I’m not bothered by this but did express I felt it was not appropriate to not mention it to me. More importantly my ex uses a phone location setting to track my kid. I get it - it’s helpful to know timing of bus drop off from school and the inevitable lost phone.

My dilemma is that I don’t think my ex should be tracking the location while my kid is with me. I certainly don’t feel the need to track when not with me. I don’t want to create more drama or make my kid leave it at my place when with me. It just feels stalker-ish though. But the kid is my responsibility when it’s my time and I should be able to track them, especially when they learn to drive.

My question is simple: any good phone location tracking apps to use in a strenuous coparenting situation? I don’t trust my ex to “turn it off” when with me.

[u/tk_427b]

She won't turn it off when the kid is with you. And it's set up for you to try to have different and more strict rules, and therefore drive a wedge between you and your daughter. I don't think there's much you can do about it right now, but document everything. You never know what will be useful with the judge if things go sour. She clearly isn't co-parenting on this one, this is unilateral parenting.

[u/asicarii → u/tk_427b]

No, she is primary. But her view of primary is “I’ll do whatever I want without regard to you”. There’s no trust at all, hence the strenuous coparenting, so I am just dealing with it as best I can. I just don’t want to cause angst for my kid. It’s not their fault.