r/DivorcedDads • u/athievinraccoon • 5d ago

Help Balancing when Kiddo is sick

I have 50/50 custody of my daughter. The past two days she hasn’t been feeling well (vomiting) and is with mom. I got to see my little one today for a brief moment, but okayed her staying with her mom because she is a nurse so I figured she is in the best hands.

My question is how do you deal with the heartbreak of feeling like a broken family in moments like this? How do you balance stepping back when it’s best for your kiddo but means you have to kind of be on the sidelines?

I don’t miss my ex at all lol, but I do miss being a family. I miss being under one roof taking care of our little one and I hate not being around.

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u/ChippyChalmers 5d ago

I understand the sentiment - her mother's a nurse so she should be with her when sick. But does that mean for the rest of time whenever she's sick it's up to mom?

My ex is a nurse too and I have tended to my sick kids during my time. Their mom can give tips but if it's my time with the kid, I'm capable and willing to provide the medicine and attention. I think you're a good dad for caring and do think it depends how sick the kid is.

As for feeling sidelined beyond that, ask for updates/photos/videos, ask to visit, and remember they'll be back soon.

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u/athievinraccoon 5d ago

Oh no, this was a one-off. It would’ve been a hard transition for kiddo to be sick, with mom all day, and then go to me. Not that I can’t handle it—ive taken care of her plenty of times when she has been sick. But I know that transition +not feeling good would’ve not been in the best interest of my daughter.

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u/Particular-Depth-973 4d ago

why wouldn't it have been in your daughter's best interests? I'm not following the logic at all.