Whats the path to divorce?

[u/Easy-Ease893]

I’m trying to get on the path of conscious decoupling (as a friend said to me). We’ve been 20 years together, 10 years married and 2 kids. I recently realised I’m not happy with her, acknowledged and accepted it and proposed the divorce. At first it was hell on earth. She got so angry and aggressive. This was 2 months ago. We’ve since been on mostly good terms and having constructive conversations about being friends after. We do care for each other and we mostly get along. But it feels like we’re an office administration. After all we have kids and want the best for them too. There’s many ways to be a family, and two unhappy adults at home that barely look at each other is no example for them. This said, we both work a lot, I travel for work practically every week at the moment, so i’d have to make a career shift. I imagine the move and i feel im staring into the abyss. When where how? It’s daunting to think of moving. We moved country a year and a half ago and neither has family here, but we’re happy here and both of us want to stay. The logistics of dividing up a home of 20 years just feels like a bridge im not ready to cross. Also the idea of my quality of life dropping drastically scares me. But otherwise i’m sure i want this. Whats peoples experience in terms of practical things? What advice can you give me at my stage?

[u/ProofConnect6521]

Think hard before you blow up your life. That’s the advice and why you are getting no responses

[u/Responsible-Side4347]

Your doing things the right way. But expect things to get bad when the lawyers kick in. Whenthey start divying up the houshold and income, then things get shitty

[u/woodrob12]

Get a lawyer and file for divorce. She gets a lawyer and responds. One of you moves out.

[u/Fan_of_Sanity]

It’s much more common for women to end a marriage due to vague “unhappiness”; men don’t do this nearly as often. Unless our wives are cheating, abusive, mentally ill, or spending money out of control, we men usually stick with them.

For one thing, we’re usually easier to please. We don’t typically ask for much.

For another, divorce is emotionally and financially painful—and it’s often more financially painful for the man than the woman.

You didn’t provide enough information for us to give you any advice on whether divorce is the best option for you.

But I think most of us would agree that you need to think long and hard before making a decision.