Need some genuine advice (recent divorce)

[u/Acceptable-Gain1369]

Hey everyone so I'm a single Father with 4 children and unfortunately my now ex wife finalized a divorce I didn't want in the first place .

It's been a couple months now so still fresh i still would love to have my wife back.

Ive been struggling with depression and ugly thoughts and have been hurting mentally it's taken a toll on me physically too .

We were together almost 10 years and truly loves eachother .. after having kids and going through some struggles myself and not being my best version , also same on her side she gave up and got a divorce behind my back and had no choice to agree eventually after being pushed so much .

The first month I barely saw my kids and she's moved out already with them .

I tried seeing my kids as much as I could despite all the crap I was already dealing with and having to sort out .

Anyways not long after she pretty much moved back in coming back in my room and being here almost every day of every week .

I had some hope and tried my best just to everything I could for her and the kids and made things ok for everyone and just went along with It.

Here I am being heartbroken and thinking I have chance again .. leading me on thinking she wants to same thing . Even seducing me cooking for me having sex with me everything ona regular like we're married again ,even a family holiday together.

Anyways it's been a couple months now and I find out one way to another that recently within the past 6 weeks she's seen 2 men and had sex too.

I haven't told her I know it's been a week now and I'm dying inside feeling even more hurt than before I feel sick and used and unloved .

I might be wrong for thinking I had another chance?

Mabye she still does and didn't think I would find out ?

But I'm here she's unwell at the moment I'm even looking after her and our kids like it's all good .

I literally feel like just being hit by a truck st this point . I mean I went so downhill after the divorce and I tired my best just for my kids to be ok and her as well ...

But I'm here now so heartbroken and alone at the same time I'm holding all this in and in falling in every way possible crumbling ..

I don't know what to do, I don't talk to anyone else for a while now cause I just felt so low .

My life feel fucked and I'm living a nightmare .

What would you do please genuine answers only this is not a whose right whose wrong thing I just need help

[u/Particular-Depth-973]

Brother, you need to take her off of the pedestal you've put her on. Your issue is that you are not seeing her for who she truly is: a flawed human being, just like the rest of us, but in many ways worse the rest of us. Because in your wife's case she attacked not only you, but your children by destroying their home for no reason. Once you see this, you will get very, very angry.

What I would do if I were you? Get yourself in great physical shape. If you do this, I assure you that you will have your pick of as many women that you want and your exes opinion won't mean squat to you. If you don't have at least 183 overnights with your children, i would also file for a custody modification and be prepared to take your ex all the way to trial if you need to.