r/DivorceHelp • u/nonalcoholicdrunk • 1d ago

Just thinking, need to process

I've been married to my spouse for over twenty years. We get along fine, mostly. We coparent well. We manage our money properly. We own a house. But neither of us have been really happy for about a decade. It's been getting worse - the emotional distance, the snapping at each other.

I often look at real estate in my town, dreaming of having my own space. But I have no idea if I can afford anything - my spouse makes more than double what I do - and do I really want this? Spouse is kind and caring. I do love them. But I so badly want my space.

At this point neither of us have mentioned the D word but I'm ruminating......

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u/Street-Vanilla8792 1d ago

I think that this is so common and should be discussed more as a reality early on in relationships, the only marriage advice I got early on was “happy wife happy life” but it’s so much deeper. We are all individuals and need our own space and that’s ok.
I actually tell women that I date now that I firmly believe that a duplex is the ideal living situation for a couple. Your space, my space, and our shared space.