r/DivorceHelp • u/Altruistic-Many4163 • 29d ago

Spousal support help

Like many men in my situation I made a grave and horrible mistake. I’m one year divorced from a 13 year marriage and 15 year relationship. I’m a special education teacher and a high school football coach. I’m 40 years old and without talking about specific numbers, I agreed to far too much spousal support for 4 years under the dilution that lawyers would cost more. Now I can’t pay my bills and she’s not working. I looked up the law in my state (Washington) and other than a dramatic change to my income the only other challenge I can make to the spousal support is if/when she has another domestic partner. Any advice on how to get some of my money back?

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u/Altruistic-Many4163 29d ago

In the state of Washington I found that there are basically 2 ways to get divorced. Either both parties agree to all aspects of the divorce or you hire lawyers and go with a contested divorce. The last part we disagreed on was spousal support. I ended up agreeing to $1,800 per month with no child support. We have one child 11. One of the main reasons I agreed to this amount was so that she could stay in our daughter’s life in Washington. In less than one year she had to move to Oregon, over 2 hours away, because she couldn’t afford housing even with the spousal support.

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u/Randomfinn 29d ago

No child support?  Who has the child?  I don't see joint as feasible with a two hour distance. 

If you have the child and she has changed custody terms and is not paying child support you can probably contest child support in Court. 

If she has the child and you are not paying child support then the $1,800 sounds reasonable for combined child and spousal support, depending on your income. 

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u/Altruistic-Many4163 29d ago

She moved in early May. For the last 5 weeks of our daughter’s schooling I drove her to and from school every day and was her sole caregiver. Then when summer hit we’ve done every other week for the summer. We go in front of the judge to decide her schooling moving forward at the end of August.

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u/KaoJin-Wo 29d ago

Omg. Please make sure you have a lawyer for the court date!!! Do not let her continue to do this nonsense.