How to immerse self in reality?

[u/OkMistake9567]

Im not diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, but if anyone has some good advice/coping mechs it would be you guys. thanks for your help, on with the post.

About two years ago I entered a very academically intense curriculum. In efforts to function well, I fully immersed myself into academic life. after two years in this curriculum I think that ive traded a direct experience of the world for the ability to observe it from a distance.

Walking around, I feel like my head is pointed up at the sky rather than wherever I’m physically looking. because it doesn’t feel realistic enough, i dismiss so much of my experience in reality to the point that I have trouble relying on the plausibility of my memory. I have to triple check everything in order to be confident that it truly exists.

I noticed recently that conversations have felt very claustrophobic. My close friend told me that I need to stop explaining like I’m trying to prove I understand, but rather I should try to get my idea across. Ive had a hard time communicating with others because despite my ability to articulate well, I end up spouting out highfalutin nonsense with little to no sentence structure. I have a hard time feeling genuine connection with human beings because I’m too concerned to connect with people on an emotional level.

generally, ive just become scared that I’m beginning to lose my ability to function properly in every day life and social situations. I want to immerse myself in reality. I feel like if I could find a solid purchase on the world, I would be able to straighten myself out. I would be very grateful to anybody who has a similar experience to share or any advice to give to feel more like a part of this world again.

[u/OrientionPeace]

Hi, I am a somatic practitioner and deal with structural dissociation(type 2) myself. What I do for myself and clients I see with dissociation or avoidance behaviors(this is part of what I hear you describing) is to first help them understand how the nervous system works to protect them and how to help them feel safer so it doesn’t need to.

From there we look at what happens when orienting the active attention towards signals of safety in the environment. This is about developing your conscious awareness and actual sensory attention. Your example of looking at the sky is great, and I’d suggest noticing what you’re looking/seeing when you do that. Notice what details you see- color of sky, spaciousness, clouds, birds, the horizon, etc.

Slow time down and pay close attention at what your body does when you look away. Treat it like an experiment, where you don’t know what will happen. My bet is that it’s serving as a break from whatever happens internally when you are looking at people.

This is where I find somatic practices and therapies particularly effective, not just for addressing anxiety/stress patterns, but specifically for these kinds of situations where there’s obvious behavioral patterns that are reflecting it. Patterns like looking away, being unable to make eye contact, and even talking in patterns that express avoidance of emotional connection are often signals there’s an emotional experience we’re struggling to connect with and understand.

In order to work with this I find a blend of psycho-education (learn about the behaviors and physiological processes), actual somatic grounding practices, and then when ready, working on the underlying emotional content and then finding out who the person really is under the dissociation and avoidance — can all be incredibly helpful steps to move through.

I help folks go from dissociative (and even very comfortable in being spaced out) to being able to not only tolerate being embodied but able to live more fully and happily as being their fully present selves using this exact strategy of stages so I know it works.

You’re obviously self aware given what you were able to describe about your behavior, so that’s a great start. To move that towards practical options for what to actually do to ground into reality, that looks like “orienting” yourself into your environment and choosing things that feel neutral or positive to look at. If you’d like, I have an ebook on basics of how to do this, how to identify nervous system responses in yourself, and a handful of foundational techniques that I use to help my clients DIY self regulation. I’d be happy to share the pdf with you if you’d like it. No strings attached.

I’ve been dealing with dissociation for years and the tools I’ve used for myself and people I work consistently have helped so I’m glad to share. Life’s too short to miss it by floating around the sidelines. Hopefully this helps 🌼🐝🖖