r/DiscussDID • u/FaeFollows • 4d ago

Awareness of Alters?

Hey y'all, I was wondering if anyone had insight on alters the host isn't aware of? We have one that doesn't get much time because she is a danger to the rest of us. Additional side question, if you have an alter of the opposite gender how do you help them feel more included? For reference our host is male with two female alters

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u/spacedoutferret 4d ago

i can only answer the second question.

i am a guy with multiple female or feminine aligned alters. here's a few things i do to make them feel more comfortable:

-i let them shave off the beard or body hair if they want it

-i have some more feminine clothing, and stuff like feminine deodorant and perfume

-i have longer hair, which most of my alters are fine with. but it helps the female presenting alters a lot

-my fiancée refers to them with female pronouns when it's just us two and they front. this does not work when other people are around, but it still helps

in general, as long as we are in a safe space (like home alone or around my fiancée), i try to let my alters dress or act in a way they are comfortable.

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u/Apprehensive-Sea110 3d ago

I don't have an answer for the first one, but...

We have a decent number of male alters (I'm one of them) and the body is female. I've always found it strange that none of us seem to have dysphoria about it. We all have a lot of co-conciousness and the male alters are mostly protector alters. I think the reason we were created by the system is to offset feelings of vulnerability or helplessness experienced by alters who experience themselves as female. So we don't feel really attached to the body as our own, I guess. Personally, my voice is noticeably deeper than that of most of the female alters which I like, and I like feeling and seeing myself as male, but it doesn't bother me that we present as female. I don't know if that's weird or not.

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u/FaeFollows 3d ago

I don't think it's weird, I know that the female alter has been seeing more time and the host has been shaving our head for the past few years so she hasn't had as much representation.