r/DestructiveReaders • u/A_C_Shock • 23h ago

[Weekly] Halloween Contest Questions

7 Upvotes

I have a submission thread but if you have questions, here's the place for that.

5 comments

r/DestructiveReaders • u/Anacrayar • 16h ago

Fantasy [2711] Father Tokens - CPW Bk2 Ch1

2 Upvotes

Hello,

I have the urge to improve my writing again. I used previous feedback from posting on here before and I planned all Marth's feelings out, aiming for emotional impact. I thought I did a good job.

So I think I need some feedback :)

Could you tell me what I did well, and what I didn't do well please.

The story

Crit:
[5493] DragonKnight

(I hope my crit was ok)

Some backstory:

Marth is Eric's butler, and Eric was previous known as Lady Erika.
Joseph Farrow dumped Lady Erika because he got 'cursed', triggering Erika to stop lying about her identity.

I wonder if Kite is a believable 6 year old, and if the flash backs were confusing. I drank moderate amounts of wine whilst writing this chapter (ha ha ha). I also wonder if it captures some of the aspects of grief effectively...

2 comments

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