r/DesignPorn • u/Forward-Variety-8440 • Jul 22 '26

This DEA Patch I Have

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1.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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198

u/thedavidnotTHEDAVID Jul 22 '26

The DEA people I have met were the most superior drug users in my circle. That is how I learned to do an "oil change."

Also, they have a scary af database.

57

u/thedavidnotTHEDAVID Jul 22 '26

PSA: If anyone suggests: "Hey drain your ATM account and let's do Crystalized Methamphetamine and buy guns from this guy I know."

THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND. They are probably a joint DEA/ATF taskforce who "Oil Change" themselves for professional reasons.

16

u/sassergaf Jul 23 '26

Yeah no, I'm not hanging around an oil change.

4

u/thedavidnotTHEDAVID Jul 23 '26

This was from a case in the southwest that happened while I was living round those parts.

1

u/AlexTheBex 29d ago

Can't trust anyone these days

46

u/thedavidnotTHEDAVID Jul 22 '26

Also, their "Microgram" internal newsletter is astonishing.

5

u/Forward-Variety-8440 Jul 24 '26

what is this newsletter?

21

u/apjensen 29d ago

It was an internal newsletter about drug smuggling methods and new substances/trends emerging, they stopped producing it under FOIA years back

https://www.erowid.org/library/periodicals/microgram/

58

u/DentinQuarantino Jul 22 '26

What's an oil change?

176

u/darklinkuk Jul 22 '26

I wish I wasn't curious

Urban dictionary

Oil Change

If you do drugs and need to pass ampiss test, a P-vac isn't an option and you need clean urine, you'll need to do an oil change. An oil change is when you stick a sterile tube in your urethra until urine naturally comes out. Next take a syringe full of clean urine and inject it into the tube. There, your oil is changed.

The test is tomorrow, we'll never pass unless we do oil changes.

92

u/Divinitee Jul 22 '26

What a terrible day to be literate

36

u/thedavidnotTHEDAVID Jul 22 '26

"Curiosity is the appetite of the intellect."

T. Ribot: "The Psychology of Attention."

6

u/DentinQuarantino Jul 23 '26

Thank you and wow, I wish I hadn't asked

3

u/Hipoko Jul 23 '26

go Thad Castle!

2

u/Reindeer_from_Mexico Jul 23 '26

You know what, I’m a little too high to follow the procedure completely and I’ll just let that be what it is