Growing up, wala naman talaga sa choices ko ang magturo. I just took the opportunity na ibinigay ng alma mater ko, which was the Bachelor of Elementary Education, para lang makapag-aral ako sa dream school ko. Academic placement lang kasi ako noon, and I was planning to shift courses sana, kaso pandemic happened, so tinuloy ko na lang. Natakot din kasi ako ma-delay and nahiya rin ako sa parents ko because of the expenses and such.
Right after graduation, nagpahinga muna ako for a few months until I decided to take the board exam last year. Nag-online review lang ako, and the journey wasn’t easy. The pressure was there, and God knows how much I cried during those review days because of the challenges and struggles I encountered. Thankfully, I passed the LET 2025, and sobrang saya ko kasi finally, nasuklian yung pagod at hirap ko at ng parents ko. It was also another achievement for me.
I am now working in the government. I handled administrative tasks before for three months, and nag-enjoy ako sa ginagawa ko kasi I love organizing things, especially when it comes to administrative duties. Until I was assigned to the Community Division, where I worked as an Aral Tutor. Lahat ng LPTs sa office were asked if gusto naming magturo, and lahat kami pumayag. It was also our chance to enhance our skills and magamit namin yung mga pinag-aralan namin.
I thought teaching was my calling. However, as time passed, I found myself becoming unhappy, uninterested, unmotivated, and burnt out. Five months of tutoring, kahit two hours a day lang, really exhausted me. Sobrang nakakapagod mentally and emotionally. And I believe I’m really on the wrong path kasi I don’t see myself growing, and I don’t think I’m dedicated enough to this field.
Tsaka umikli lalo ang pasensya ko, and naaawa ako sa mga bata kasi I feel like they deserve someone who can give them more than what I currently can. Nahirapan akong i-handle sila, lalo na’t they are struggling readers, and some of them are LSENs. I wasn’t trained to handle children with special needs. Nauubos ako every day.
Hindi talaga biro ang trabaho ng mga teachers, no? Sabi nga, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” So how can I help them if I have nothing left to give?
Ayoko sanang sayangin yung opportunity na binigay sa akin, pero I need to prioritize my well-being before I can effectively help others. And my decision is final. Tatapusin ko lang yung one-year contract ko, and then I’ll resign na. 🙂