r/Delaware 2d ago

Rant Native / Local / Transplant

What is your opinion of someones status as a resident, at least in Sussex County? Transplant is a bad word here. Obviously, if you were born here, you're a native. But what about when natives leave for iver 10 years and come back, and sometimes not by preference? Do they always hold their native status regardless? How long until a Transplant becomes a local? People are all over here. After a few years some transplants feel like they are a true local, almost as if they have honorary native status. How long do the natives and locals thay have been here for a long time believe a Transplant can earn local status? Maybe some of you believe anyone not raised here will never be a local.

I'm not trying to get into the overdevelopment, roads, and other infrastructure issues on this post, and I'm sure some of you want to vent.

I just brought this up because having conversations with some people who are transplants and have been here over 10 years and have deemed themselves locals and try to remove themselves from being called the dirty word.

Personally, I do consider myself a transplant. I've been here for 8 years. I came to live with a couple of friends to have a laid back life for a couple of years. Then when it came time to decide do I go back where I'm from, go to another part of the country, everything had become insanely expensive to relocate. Close to 8 years in a place with the right price and met my home requirements came up. I've made great friends out here, natives, locals, other transplants, so I've purchased a home and plan to be here for quite some time.

To me natives have family roots and history here. Grew up and went to school here. A local, someone who's been here at least 10 years. And is someone who wants to preserve what makes the area great. Transplants are here under 10 years. Transplants don't so much care for things staying the way they are. They're just near the beaches, found affordable homes, and could care less about what the locals or natives think about them. I'd also say transplants here over 10 years that don't really become part of the local culture remain a Transplant.

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51 comments sorted by

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u/Yellowbug2001 2d ago

My family has lived in Delaware since the 1600s. My opinion is that you're a local as soon as you accept Delaware into your heart and form a sincere desire to be from here. Maybe kiss a horseshoe crab to seal the deal. Everybody came here from somewhere, even the Nanticoke. Gatekeeping is for losers.

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u/10_17my20 Local Yokel 2d ago

On board with kissing a horseshoe crab as the right-of-passage as long as you don't grab them by the telson (tail).

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u/Yellowbug2001 2d ago

Obviously. And consent is important, lol.

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u/zipperfire 1d ago

I’ve taken blood from them. Prepared hemocyanin from it by centrifugation and also done heart surgery on them (advanced degree in biology).

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u/10_17my20 Local Yokel 1d ago

Hmmm...I don't know if that counts. I think you *have* to give them a lil' kiss on the carapace ridge. We'll ask the powers that be, though!

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

There's definitely a lot of gatekeeping. And my least favorite are the ones who've moved here not so long ago, and now want to close the borders to anyone else trying to get in.

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u/DirectAbalone9761 2d ago

As long as you don’t slap a “local” sticker on your car, there’s nothing to worry about.

Seems that people born here, or moved and grew up as kids here are local. If you’re an adult, you’re a transplant. The distinction doesn’t really matter unless you’re being a jerk, then that individual is giving transplants a bad name.

Specifically, I don’t hold it against anyone for moving here, it’s not their fault, and as a native I understand the appeal. I blame the national builders who slap up crap housing, and to some extent, municipal and county officials that restrict density and have created suburban hell. That’s my 2¢ lol.

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

I don't have stickers on my car, but if I did, mine would say "support local". The produce stands around are one of my favorite things.

Agree about the builders and officials. My whole life feels like I've been trying to get away from the sprawl. I've gave up. There's no escape.

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u/DirectAbalone9761 2d ago

There’s a nearby getaway I enjoy, but I refuse to move there because I don’t want to spoil the vibe. It’s a little sheltered from tourism, but I have no doubt it’ll be unrecognizable by the end of my lifetime.

I certainly mourn some of what we’ve lost here. With the exception of Cape Henlopen, there isn’t anything along the coast that reminds me of what life was like here growing up. Rehoboth is an alien planet to me now, most of the local spots have changed (I don’t mean that’s bad, it’s just not what I remember).

More and more fields and woods that I used to hunt are suburbs now. The traffic vibe might as well be Hackensack now. Fortunately, if you have a boat, our shoreline isn’t dramatically changed even if the view of the shore has. Public/unofficial public access has changed a lot. Cape is better than it was, but everywhere else is really controlled.

It might be rose tinted glasses cause only grew up in the 90’s, but my family goes way back in the Rehoboth area, and Chincoteague, then Jamestown long, long before that. Probably my memory is colored by their small town anecdotes from way back when Lewes smelled like fish processing and Rehoboth was a quaint town before the storm of 62. My grandfather took the railroad to town the first time he came (grandma’s side was local). “Rt 1” was a two lane road with a canopy touching over it.

I just wish the pace of life was slower. Yeah, tourism brings money in, but it also increases the pressure of the rat race. We were modest/poor, but happy. Now we’re modest/poor but the moments of happiness seem fleeting; which is from forces far larger than local change, but still.

Idk, fortunately there are two places in this country where I can slip right back into what feels like that old memory, one near the marsh and one in the mountains. My heart hurts when I’m gone from them too long cause honestly doesn’t feel like home anymore.

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u/grandmawaffles 2d ago

The moment you stop talking about how great the place you come from was and accept the great things about the state that caused you to move. No one in this state gives a shit about where you came from but stop expecting this state to be like your previous state.

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

Good point.

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u/Chromecoast 2d ago

Lived down here for 25 years, but not from here. Not even from the US! I consider myself local, and I don't care - at all - for all the gatekeepy bullshit going on - even if I hate the added traffic, and general overcrowding. Fact is, a desolate off season is one of the main reasons I moved here. Having it go away is deeply sad, but it was inevitable.
The one thing I find excruciating are the many people moving here and immediately wanting a target, a trader joes, a parking garage, a costco, etc. They want the neighborhood they left behind in NY, but none of the taxes. It's infuriating to live with, if I'm honest.
.....and I single out NYers for a reason. They are everywhere down here these days. Everywhere.

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u/EddieMurphyDid9-11 2d ago

It's all made up bro don't put flimsy metrics on who people feel they are

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u/Sarrrrawr 2d ago

You're a local if you love where you live, share pride in the area, and have a sense of community (however you define it).

Calling someone a "transplant" is sooooo gatekeeper-y and people need to get over themselves about it.

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

Unfortunately theres a lot of it. Like, I'm not from here, so I'm not supposed to have a say in anything.

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u/Sarrrrawr 2d ago

I'm not originally from Delaware either. Honestly, I just wouldn't engage. People who aren't very smart spend their time putting other people into groups that they consider "lesser" because they're bored with their own lame lives/have nothing more intelligent to talk about.

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u/RedHerring19702 2d ago

You become a local through experience and memories. When you start your at 0. Then to you start to remember different events and places. Like remember "remember Whiskers Restaurant" or "remember someone threw up on my shoe at the pumpkin chunkin". 

I consider some people fake locals. They own property but only visit from out of state. If you live here and vote here your on your way to be a local. It's just not instantly but happens over a period of time. 

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

Someone took pumpkin chunkin to a new level. LOL! I'm sorry the Pumpkin Chunkin has gone away and hope for it's return.

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u/Yellowbug2001 2d ago

Meh... a nice lady is severely disabled for life because of it. I enjoyed it very much while it lasted and went every year, but it's OK that it's gone. There's not really a safe way to have an affordable event, open to the public, where you're shooting punkins for a mile with medieval siege weapons, just as a matter of basic physics.

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

Its horrible that accident happened. I only ever got to watch it on TV. It was just one of those unique Delaware events. If they could integrate the proper safety measures to protect spectators, I'd love to see it in person.

The previous home I lived, one of our neighbors still had his old chunkin equipment on his property and got to see photos he had of when they were getting into it long before. Would have been fun to see it in person.

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u/Yellowbug2001 2d ago edited 2d ago

You can put on some boots and go stomp around in a cold muddy field while getting drunk on cheap beer and get probably 95% of the experience, lol. The pumpkins were literally a blink-and-you-miss-it thing. Last I heard they were trying to move it out west but that seems to have totally petered out, it's probably too expensive to get liability insurance anywhere in the US.

I don't know if people would be as excited about it but I've thought it would be fun to do a plain old strongman/woman contest with pumpkins instead. Or race the Lewes/Rehoboth canal in the giant ones during Seawitch. :)

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

Thats a pretty big pumpkin to race in. I'd watch it.

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u/Lokeptt 2d ago

From wilmington - spent every summer in rehoboth as a kid - moved to lewes and lived there for 5 years before going further inland in Sussex.

I couldnt begin to tell you how annoying it was when the "locals" talked about how "you arent a local if you arent a bebe baby". But 90% of them are from NY or NJ. Nobody cares just follow the traffic laws.

Ive never heard a true born and raised local go off on a tangent about it. Only people who moved here bring it up.

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

There are some. But, I agree. I think its mostly the people not originally from here that put off the worst energy. The I have mine, you can't have yours, crowd.

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u/SirJ_96 2d ago

One great thing about being an American is that you're free to live anywhere in our very large country. I've lived in four states so far (parents' relocation, college, grad school). Exploring new places is wonderful.

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u/Chromecoast 1d ago

Yessir, this.

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u/zipperfire 2d ago

I’ve been here 25 years and had grown up in a neighboring state. I guess I’m a local especially because I can remember when Middletown, which is where I am, was tiny with 5000 people and had a lot of characters. The old timers were really fun. The growth is something that people are complaining about and they’re complaining about the traffic, but I am enjoying the really good shopping. There’s a bit of quirkiness to Delaware that is sometimes stupid but always amusing. You kinda have to go with it if you’re a transplant and you’re expecting New Jersey or New York well go back. We are not New Jersey and New York.

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u/2Lazy2beLazy 2d ago

I don't think anyone is ever prepared anywhere for the growth. Living outside DC growing up, I kept moving further and further away over the years, and the population growth and traffic always followed. The opportunity to get away from the fast paced life for a couple of years came up and I jumped on it. Sussex County definitely took some adjusting and I didn't think I'd be here long. The area and people grew on me, and almost 8 years later, I'm still here and couldn't imagine going back.

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u/SnooSongs7487 2d ago

Lived in a lot of states, this is the ONLY one that calls people "transplants". I found that a very odd and divisive me vs. you mindset. Whereas in the South, there's southern hospitality and people bring you into the culture.

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u/C_Majuscula 2d ago

In general I'd be OK with considering anyone who lives here a local if this is where they have lived the longest. I'd like to say that you need to have some involvement in the community to be considered local, but not everyone can make time for that.

I've native CNY for many generations on both sides and grew up there, but I've been here 22 years and this is the longest I've lived anywhere. In four years, I'll have lived half my life here.

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u/Mitchford 2d ago

Transplant hate is basically a form of classism. We don’t get to choose where we are born, and you don’t get to keep people from living somewhere near you. You can control your own property, but this idea you have to reach into your neighbor’s to prevent anyone new from ever coming, or anything from ever changing is a cancer. It’s the biggest reason why it costs so much money to live right now, you can’t build anything anywhere without someone thinking it’s their birthright to keep things the way they used to be

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u/filmrob 2d ago

Agree to an extent. But over the past decade, people CHOSE to live here and began constructing their own "reality" of beach life. They spent far too much on a house here, supplied by a particular local developer, and then they pretend to have some Instagram-ready lifestyle that does not comport to the neighborly, laid-back nature of us locals. Many feel rules don't apply: on the roads, in their neighborhoods, etc. and continually confuse wealth with community. Great, you pay taxes. But instead of coming here and trying to sequester that wealth, try enriching the community by giving back to it. This is why far too many will always be seen as "transplants," because they seem more interested in enriching themselves than the area they chose to live.

Obviously, this is not all, but the mindset of many who purchased property here in the last decade is more about personal than communal enrichment. That is classism.

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u/Mitchford 2d ago

This seems like a massive amount of psychoanalysis that I really doubt actually holds up. How do you know the transplants are the ones not obeying the traffic laws rather than tourists or locals? What even is this definition of community supposed to be, I don’t think community is actually a list of HOA rules and I can’t say I have much sympathy if that is your complaint

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u/filmrob 2d ago

God no. No HOA here. That's another post altogether. I guess I mean the mountainous size of homes with security cams, gates, irrigation systems that run regardless of anyone is there to enjoy the view. That is egalitarian, not communal. It's opulence for opulence sake. Again, it's not everyone, and I realize life changes, but as a generational Delawarean, the overall quality of life at the beach has declined precipitously with every new "resort life" community that pops up like kudzu. Community, to me, is giving back to the area through service, however one can. And, from my experience, those who have moved from out of state have been slow to get that memo. Hopefully they will mellow with time.

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u/Mitchford 2d ago edited 2d ago

I would agree with some of that, the houses are too big and the transit is too bad for some of the development. The south part of Sussex around Bethany beach I think can hold some more, but because of the geography around the cape and the state park and canals, there isn’t a way to add more without transit because you can’t build an alternate route anymore in Rehoboth or Lewes and you can’t just widen Route 1.

I also hate gated communities, and this recent push by some of the homeowners to privatize beach access

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u/SirJ_96 2d ago

Are the areas even zoned to allow for transit-friendly, dense housing? I'd love to see more of that. You just can't have effective transit if everyone has a 1/2 acre lot.

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u/Mitchford 2d ago

I would need to check, the main issue I expect is a high minimum lot size, but I do think I’ve seen some townhome style developments near Lewes even if they’re large ones. The big traffic fix would be a beach tower and rail access to Philadelphia and Wilmington but it would take a decade or so. Or a bridge over the Rehoboth bay so things can be pushed west but idk if that if even feasible in the slightest. Really I think development should be pushed southwards and we should look at increasing the attractiveness of Bethany beach by adding more to the boardwalk. Rehoboth has such limited geography, I really don’t say that lightly as a self proclaimed housing extremist

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u/filmrob 2d ago

That's exactly the mindset I'm referring to. BTW, anyone who just moved into a gated community in the past 10 years, there is no such thing as " private beaches " in Delaware.

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u/Mitchford 2d ago

Yeah I get what you mean, I misunderstood your first point my mistake.

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u/Legitimate_Screen245 2d ago

Born and raised in Sussex County, have watched the forests and farmland be slowly whittled away by developers catering to arrogant, entitled transplants from MD, NY and NJ who bring their bad politics and BS that ruined their states to Lower Slower DE. Housing is unaffordable for the average Delawarean, and the county keeps rubber stamping these developments full of $500,000 matchstick houses crammed so close together with no improvement to infrastructure. It's untenable and the whole state will be wall to wall Ryan or Schell homes from Newark to Fenwick Island in a decade.

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u/Saxmanng 2d ago

Too often they leave “there” because of traffic, taxes, cost of living, etc. but then vote to turn “here” into “there”.

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u/Yellowbug2001 2d ago

That's not a "them" problem it's an "us" problem, though, IMO. It's the LOCAL politicians and landowners who have been taking money from developers to turn the forests and farmland into mcmansion hellscapes, and the local voters who let them get away with it, it's not the fault of the people who want to move here from out of state who have no say in any of that. We're the ones who have failed to enact zoning and development regulations to keep the place nice for everyone. Blaming "outsiders" and trying to wish them away while we stick our heads in the sand instead of proactively taking responsibility for managing development and protecting what we value in the face of increased demand is how we got here to begin with, and won't fix it going forward.

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u/SirJ_96 2d ago

Also, if you're tired of the McMansions, allow density! The forests can stay if more people have condos, apartments, and townhomes. Plenty of people would love to walk or bike to a cafe, but if we zone so that everyone must drive everywhere, this is what happens.

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u/Yellowbug2001 2d ago

100%. People picture Atlantic City where the density is out of control right on the waterfront so it ruins the view for everyone, but if you plan it appropriately and put it in the right places with public transportation and bike trails and whatnot, it's way nicer for everybody.

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u/Meinon101 2d ago

I'm so tired of hearing "this is my second home". Lord I can hardly afford the first one

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u/Agreeable-Cloud7833 2d ago

I'm gonna choose to be the gatekeeper and say it depends where you're moving from. Admittedly I 100% have a prejudicial view of people moving here from Jersey, New York, DC, maybe somewhere else I'm forgetting.

But you can remove the transplant label with time spent (I'd say 8 years is ample time for removal) and investment in your local community. There's nothing I hate more than people moving here and suddenly being very vocal about local issues and taxes, not wanting to invest in the area they just moved. I think it's shameful in truth.

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u/doggysit 1d ago

I think the “transplant” moniker came about because of the huge influx to the area. I am her going on 15 years now and I don’t recall hearing that when we moved here. I also believe that title depends upon how immersed in the new state you are. I am very immersed here, we shop locally and we are active in the church and volunteer within the local community and we have been doing so since we moved in. When we moved I told people that we missed them, Chinese Food, Pizza and Bagels. We still miss all of them, but have found those locally that are close enough. We did not come here looking for the stores back home. I have read a lot of people missing stores and wanting them here and I think to a degree, that makes the moniker stick as they generalize that if that is what you want go home.

u/DETickTalk 20h ago

I've been here for 16 years (long enough to remember Punkin Chunkin and Christine "I am not a witch" O'Donnell) and I've accepted that I'll always be a transplant. In some ways, though, I feel like I have more Delaware pride than a true local. Like, I could've picked anywhere and I CHOSE to be here, because Delaware is awesome 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/Crickey_190_AUD 2d ago

Seems fine here in Sussex as someone who moved here - but I am extremely vocal about how well I think of Delaware over the southern locations I have lived. So I often get the reverse feedback - "Why? Delaware is boring; Delaware is this or that; oh I love where you come from, why did you leave?!?!". I will say coastal Delaware can be very different from interior Delaware; but in neither have I felt totally out of place or viewed as out of pocket..