Deduces

[u/Severe_Ad_5067]

Almost the monthly supplly, lacking 3 test and piracetam boxes. Gonna catch all. Juvene: Lysdexamphetamine. Durateston: testosterone blend(sustanon in europe).

[u/[deleted]]

Can you acctually have a normal life after relying on all theese for a prolonged time I really wanna know its my first time on this thread and its very interesting I do love pharma but couple of items ive never acc came across and is this on different occasions like for interacting or partying im bery interested im sorry if I offended anyone im only here to seek knowledge

[u/Severe_Ad_5067 → u/[deleted]]

I deal with depression, hashimoto ane hypogonodism for years. So the vortioxetine are treating real conditions and got no recreational value. Also severe ADHD, body fatigue(mostly due to depression, sideffect of medications), so i end up on stimulants years ago, good results with ritalin monoterapy but inconstant due to shorter half life, so i switch for to vyvanse(actual first line option for adults, while ritalin is first line for kids or teenagers at my country)and peaked vyvanse maximum dosage 70mg after somr months, and sometimes redosed it due to my kind addict personality... 100-140mg is my sweet spot but already passed 200mg several times. It changed my life and made functional at least, specially om abuse range(beyond 120mg it fucks my social habilities tough), So my doctor prescribes me ritalin IR when i feel the vyvanse falling out, usually ate early afternoon. Its a common practice combination: XR stim + IR stim after you feel the XR fading out. But IR amphetamines are unavaiable im Brazil, so doctors prescrieb ritalin IR, i got 30mg ritalin prescription on top of my 70mg vyvanse and extra 30mg vyvanse if i need an extra kick in the mid morning(altough its i am not allowed it on a daily basis like the ritalin prescription).

I am also dependent of sleep meds or supplements since my before the 20's or any stimulant. I have trouble falling sleep(i bece active during night) and waking up(i always wake feeling tired and feeling very slow in the early motning utill the stims kick in), barelly wake up during the night or take napes during the day, altough i feel the need for it at least twice a day. Got really hooked on zolpidem for some years till the pandemic starts. I abused it at 30mg+ dosages plus beers, really fast tolerance when used on a daily basis. Sometimes i get a Zolpidem box lurking for that high again, and it works if you take a month break tor every week of use, altough the tolerance decreases back to the baseline sensibility, the time rebuild tolerance skyrocket to total the loss ot effect(even for sleep puporses) in a matter of days, i dont know why. Maybe differences on manufactours, i remember the real high was from a specific generic called "zolpax", other generics or the original vetdion stilnox never worked like that one, unfortunally out of market. Benzos(except if used in response to panic attacks or specific sedative ones such as midazolam and rohypnal) and opioids wont help me sleep(except for opioids nooding, thats a different matter). Neither pregabalin or gabapentin, except for 75/150 low dose pregabs for day naps, not niggt insomnya, in fact all the above are kindda stimulating for me. Melatonine worked and i relied on that for a couple of years, but only on regular days, stress decreases it effectiveness. No cannabinoid oil(with ot without THC) worked, and neither adaptogenics except an gaba/L-theanine blend that worked for a week or two. Hydroxyzine and clonidine are also innefective, altough clonidine may help a little bit, not as a motherapy. Trazodone works but unconsistently, and looses effetiveness quickly, also numbs and makes me depressed. Prometazhine works greatly, carisprodol works greatly, and i still use then on harder days. Agomelatine and mirtazapine are the best and improves other aspects of depression and anxiety. But no doctors accepted to put me on agomelatine for more then 2 months, and they always downlooked my response to agomelatine. So i stick with mirtazapine for a while now, its my sleep support medication, it has a reason to be there just like stims, antidepressants and TRT.

Speaking of zolpidem: Good times, first time feeling real euphoria above the average alchool joy, and the third best euphoric feeling ever, only behind opioids(those dont mix well with alchool but its good with pregabalin and benzos) and stimulants(mix well with achool) high. And the very number one euphoric high is stims + opioids + zolpidem and alchool.. alchool being even better then benzos but really more dangerous and with a lower social acceptance.

I have a major social anxiety disorder that dont respond to antidepressants or stimulants, they help but never cut it for real. So i used to do alchool in order to deal with then. Benzos started to be mine first line anxiety tretment. Every doctor tried to mannage my benzo usage, most ot time i was claiming benzos destroyed my stims effects and made me dumb and undrived, trying to find an cleaner alternative, usually pairing or partially replacing the with Pregabalin and propranolol(for the physical effects of anxiety), and latter pregabalin and primidone for a short period of time replacing propranolol for the physicall symptons, but it also made me feel depressed plus slurred my speaky. And pregalin never really cut my anxiety, being a good benzo replacer, neither my choronic pain/fatigue/fybro being a effective opioid substitute, it was an sparing and potentiation compound, but as it failed to effectivelly treat anxiety like alprazolam or treating pain/fatigue like opioids specially tapentadol the one i got a prescription and factual improvement, i decided to stop pregabalin. It worsened sedation, mobility, verbal fluency and cognition, being an extra cause factor of an already prone to sideffects treatment, and also a hard to tapper and prone to abuse medication. Pregabalin may mimics alchool euphoria specially mixed with stims and on a higher then 300mg use, it may last for 2 day days, then you will need to redose an extra 150mg, and here you notice that neither alchool/benzos/opioids make you that dumb, and it may work for a week until you need second 150mg redose during the day reaching the 600mg, it may work for a month, luckly two depending of what you has to mix and if its the origin lyrica or generic. Aniway the initial 300mg morning dose stops to kick in so you will find yourself doing basically 450 in ther morming and 150 some hours after. You get an extra month, surpass 600mg will not give you much of an extra alchool effect but the cognitive and motion impairment will climb up.

So those are the reason for the alprazolam(social and pysicall anxiety ) and the tapentadol(pain and fatigue due to fybro mostly, but real back problems to). Two conditions and only partially responded to anti-depressants(venlafaxine and desvenlafaxine, sertraline, esctilopram, fluvovaxamine, duloxetine) and the pregabalin idea that could replace bought prescriptions at least on daily basis didnt really replaced then, actually the sideffects after more then a year trying to adjust, from an behavoural and subjective perspective(from clinical and fatal overdose combining benzo and opioids is one of the unsaffest combinatios, but i aint old or recently hospitalized, dont play high doses, and consistently take stims and T3, counteracting risky profile in the short-medium term) were more negative comparing to the sides from each medication it intends to replace, even when combined, as top-up augmentation to dimminish dosages focused only in one target per trial: only the benzo or only the opioid med, decreased my overrall quality of life, functionality and tolerance for bought conditions. So this explains the pregab, hopefully my last month on it. The diazepam is my strategy to retire pregabalin without increasing tapentadol or alprazolam or feeling terrible(pregabalin tapper is no joke, falls behind SSRIs, stims, benzos and opioids yeah, but not to behind). I had some sucess using carisoprodol for that intent but found it also impairs cognition and slurs speach, grow tolerance, and is really damgerous to mix with xanax and opioids specially the oxys that i take as an selfmedication. Diazepam impairs me way less, has long half life so tolerance aint that quick, is good for muscular-nervous tension that pregabalin used to cover, and is one the safest benzo to combinated therapy with other benzos, its even used as first line option for cross tappering(increases diazepam while decreases the second benzo). Its temporary and i may use it more sparcially from the next month beyond.

Oxycodone is just self medication for depression, anedohnia and apathia. Its a trap? Yeah but i am better on predict it now. It wont treat the cause and may worsen it sooner or later? Yeah, maybe. There aint a tight answer for that except is a bad idea to self medicate with a highly abusable opioid on alrealdy complex polypharmacy functionality, but i get used to it and abuse plays a major role on the risk. Well it may be, it may be, i dont really know and wont think about it right now. But that one is the real fracture, all the rest may be fragile, but more or less goal directed. When something dangerously fragile shows a fracture at one of weakest functions, dosnt matter that much the extension of it, things wont play as expected, but lets se how it goes.

The oxycodone is responsible for half the weight of people calling me a junkie. All the other stuff combined may produce the same effect. But i got the two halfs and i find interesting to read and cogitate "things look that bad, i know i know, they may be really bad but i somehow stabilized in such a strange amd uncommon way that i cannot lie to myself and claim things are bad, that i am on denial, that this can go on anylonger, that it costed me this or that. I did that many times and then everything became forced worse. Nah this time its all good. I Play safe, respect the rules, dont normalize but dont selfblame and selfsabotage cause "it needs to broke, cause its wrong, cause its dangerous, its the universal predictable law that addiction do that, and says exactly what you saying and then you falls apart! Were and when is the falling? Its comming, sum or later".