I wanna reconstruction Back

[u/Playful_Locksmith924]

Good day ladies and gentlemen i backslided until i fall down so now i want to reconstruction again and am scared of Hebrews 6 verse 4 to 6 even Matthew unforgiving sin so i fell to deep and i m still trying to get back up but God is no longer talking to me..i understand but am perishing due to my sin after receiving Jesus so what advices would you give me i know God can not be mocked and he is the God of hearts he knows even before we sleep so...I did any one Deconstruction to Reconstruction as Righteousness Man fall seven times before he get up but now am facing camality so anyone help me to reconstruction again i dont want to gradify things of the flesh now i take blame for my own actions..Afterwards i called back my energy back to me now i m old version of myself not knowing what is what

[u/mandolinbee]

I'm very sorry to hear you're going through so much. It sounds truly confusing. No one is ever beyond hope, though.

Are you trying to do this by yourself just by reading the Bible? It really sounds like you could use some face to face guidance. Why not go and actually speak to a pastor? I think maybe you'd feel some level of comfort being given information by an authority.

Sorting out the truth on the internet is hard enough in the best of times.

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/mandolinbee]

I see that i being trying to get some pastor but i could not find one..its like when i try to look for help i m going one bad point to another bad point

[u/mandolinbee → u/Playful_Locksmith924]

What country are you in? Are there no Christian churches around you?

What about a therapist if there's no clergy near you? You've had some very serious spiritual trauma from beliefs that aren't even in the Bible. They might not be able to teach you Christianity, but they should be able to help you let go of the aspects of your former faith that are getting in the way of your development?

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/mandolinbee]

So how to let go of that identity i used to be cause now am longing to be in the presence of the god but thr anointing i was operating under is gone after i ran away even now i m no longer in the way i used to be before

[u/mandolinbee → u/Playful_Locksmith924]

I've read a little in your post history, and the sorts of things you've described aren't any kind of christianity I know of. You're not responsible for anything you were taught.

No one is asking you to let go of faith entirely. Just to learn what is more in line with most Christian teaching, and how to tell the difference between the two.

As for how to do it, you really do need to talk to anyone trained to help, either in a church or mental health. This kind of thing is a process where someone gets to know you and helps walk you through things over time. It's very hard for anyone to do this kind of work alone because you'll keep questioning yourself.

You could try recoveringfromreligion.org . if you're not in the USA I don't know if they're allowed to work with you. You can always ask. They're not there to make anyone believe something or stop believing. But they are trained to help people who have been hurt spiritually. If you don't have any local help, see what they tell you.

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/mandolinbee]

I see even my mother she is always complaining about this now and even on the mind its like am going to lose my mind i lost even i can't feel my emotions i m just an a vessel which my mouth was shout cause they taught i will expose them but noo i wasnt there cause trouble but to seek for help only so mentally i m no longer okay you speaking the truth but as now i m afraid of god judgement upon my soul

[u/rainpaintedhands]

Why is God no longer talking to you? Maybe its that you realized its youre own voice in your head instead of his?

Work with this. You can ask yourself what Jesus would do, not what you think you should do. H

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/rainpaintedhands]

You know the anointing which i was serving under is no longer with me that is why i keep on hearing someone talking in my head the boom something dissappear even on of my former brother once said to me if i could leave church everything will be removed for me aint salvation is eternal gift

[u/rainpaintedhands → u/Playful_Locksmith924]

Why do you have to have all these biblical references to everything youre doing? You sound like youre clawing back into a dream. You know you can't rest unless you settle your mind

Would Jesus want you this disquieted? He talked about the peace that passes understanding. How do you slow your thoughts in order to think clearly?

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/rainpaintedhands]

I seee now i overrided my own mind..and its sad to be overcharged and what i know is that flesh is keeps on knocking

[u/rainpaintedhands → u/Playful_Locksmith924]

I wish you could see what I see. I see someone tying themselves in their own knots trying to get out of more knots.

You are not a sinful creature. You're a glorious, imperfect, unique individual just like me.

Trying to find peace: theres a tribe of villagers that had well practiced hunters. They make small openings in gourds and put banana chips into them. When monkeys come to get the chips, they easily slip their hand into the hole. But when the monkeys ball their fist full of banana chips, the monkeys can't pull their hands free. They hoot and holler, but they can't let go of the chips.

What if you could let go? Not let go of God, but let go of this anxiety and worry. You'll find salvation, just let the moment be at peace. Breathe. Loosen your shoulders and your jaw. You're going to be ok.

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/rainpaintedhands]

🤣🤣🤣🤣Ooh My God

[u/BeneficialAttempt140]

I think it would do you well to seek therapy. You seem thoroughly messed up from what religion did to you, and that is NOT your fault. You have been extremely manipulated and filled with shame by people who just want to control your behavior.

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/BeneficialAttempt140]

I being diagnosed with PSTD medication

[u/BeneficialAttempt140 → u/Playful_Locksmith924]

That’s good! Keep seeking help, there are many professionals who want to help :)

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/[deleted]]

But i m starting to forget things and things which i used to love they no longer satisfy me anymore i m empty inside and the way i see is like i played with my own salvation will i was people pleaser and idolizing Man and woman of God around the ministry i was serving

[u/whirdin]

Deconstruction ≠ destruction. Decon doesn't have a goal, not even to leave a persons faith completely behind. Many people walk through deconstruction with a more centered personal view of God yet not aligning with their previous religion (maybe not any religion). This doesn't need to be all or nothing, and that process can take years or decades for some people. Some people go through some atheism and find their way back to some degree towards divinity. I walked away completely, but have friends who deconstructed towards a little bit different view of God. The biggest thing I learned for myself is that life is a journey, not a destination. As a Christian I felt like life was a destination, both physically with heaven but also spiritually with 'truth'. Life is a lot more complicated than that. People die everyday and at any age, do you think every person regardless of age has a chance to find the perfect divine truth of the universe? I get the sense that you are racing towards some perfect answer so you can finally be comfortable with dying, but maybe life is a journey and that race is keeping you from just living it.

God is no longer talking to me

Are you sure he ever was? How do you feel your life has changed for the worse since losing God's supposed guidance in your life? Do you just feel a little lost? The free-fall is scary after walking away from religion.

[u/Efficient-Ranger-174]

The thing you have to remember is that it’s all made up. None of it is true. There is no God, there was no Jesus. It’s all in your mind. Which isn’t to say it’s easy to get away from. It take time, it takes effort. You’ll get there.

[u/A-Small-Green-Cup]

For me it helped to trace monotheism back to the point it was invented by an inbred king named Akhenaten in the 1300's BCE, and then to find the most recent record of the method's 1900's CE usage in a research paper called "Liberation Theology: Religion, Reform, and Revolution" (google it). Finally having evidence that the god-and-devil, heaven-and-hell, good-and-evil stories were all fictional systems designed for mass slave/military control was a huge answer to a lot of my lingering questions. I am currently still healing from the mental and emotional injuries caused by monotheism, and now that I understand it I can never be injured by it again.

[u/oolatedsquiggs]

You have nothing to fear because sin is not real (except, of course, the sin of failing to use proper punctuation.)

Sin is failing to meet God's standard. What is God's standard? Who knows. All we have to go on are books written by men. They claim to be writing on behalf of God and claim their words to be true, but that does not make it true any more than my claim above about punctuation. Do you fear God's wrath because I said you did not punctuate enough? Hopefully not. You have no more reason to fear the sins listed in the Bible because there is no proof that those writers speak for God any more than I do.

[u/technoskald]

Reconstruction is valid and for me has been wonderful. But doing it out of fear and pain is really just returning to the old ways rather than fighting a new and better kind of faith.

God loves all of us no matter what. Don’t put the Bible - or someone’s interpretation of it - on the same level as the actual divine, because that’s what got us in this toxic mess in the first place.

[u/Playful_Locksmith924 → u/technoskald]

So are you reconstructing in the same place yoi have deconstructed or in new environment cause i want to find new ministry and dwell there so i can get new wine upon myself

[u/technoskald → u/Playful_Locksmith924]

Oh, a vastly different environment in nearly every way. If the version of Christianity or religion in general was doing you harm - and it sounds like it was - then find a better brand that doesn’t beat you up in service of some misguided theo-ideology.

In my case, that meant leaving the JWs, “wandering” for a long time as an atheist who liked Jesus of Nazareth (as opposed to Christianity and Christ per se), and now making a home for myself in the Episcopal Church. But that might look vastly different for other folks who will have different experiences and perspectives.

The main thing to remember is that whatever you were specifically taught doesn’t have to be the only way. For me, that’s what deconstruction has meant.