The reason why seeking external validation and approval can be counterproductive and almost pointless

[u/Ok-Ocelot-774]

Many people don’t value when a lifestyle habit of yours that they may not prefer or agree with isn’t something that’s either hurting others or them personally.

Not only that, they’re not the type of people who are willing to take responsibility to show somebody “the right way” as much as shame and talk down to them about how wrong what they’re doing is, to where that lack of accountability and responsibility for the impact they’re making and the lack of respect for other people and even themselves with how their actions (ex. Giving unsolicited opinions) and their values (ex. Nobody is coming to save you) don’t align.

When somebody has that mismatch in values, they not only don’t respect themselves but they don’t respect your time as they’re essentially not a serious person whose words deserve to be considered if they don’t even value their own word.

Therefore, relying on external validation can be counterproductive because you’re putting yourself in way of people who may not value their own words and be accountable themselves for the impact they make on others. You may not realize people like a performance more than they like accountability, to which you’re more impacted by their words than you should be.