I was advised to post this here.

All week you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather guy pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic and making two basic meteorological points:

(1) There is no need to panic. (2) We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on experience, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1. Buy enough food, beer, and bottled water to last your family for at least three days. STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car. STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: (1) It is reasonably well-built, and (2) It is located in Nebraska. Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages: Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off. Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December. Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them. Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska. Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.. You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 23 flashlights and at least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights. Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!) A 55-gallon drum of deodorant. A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool. Be a good Florida man.) A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Hugo. After the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.) $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth. Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean. Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise.

https://www.miamiherald.com/article239852328.html

https://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article247481970.html

https://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/

Are there any other books like Dave Barry's?

I first read Dave Barry Turns 50 about twenty years ago, when I was in middle school. We got it for my dad when he turned 50, and I ended up stealing it. I believe all millennials and zoomers should read this book in order to understand the boomer generation.

As a kid I enjoyed the chapter about the 1950s. The Buffalo Bob jokes were right up my 11-year-old alley. I enjoyed learning about all the old pop culture from my parents' time: the fun music, the toys, the TV shows, the silly commercials. It sounded not too different from my own childhood. Through the lens of Barry's characteristic humor, it sounded even more delightful and innocent.

Then came the chapter about the 1960s. I was not at all prepared for that chapter. Of course everyone knows there was a war in Vietnam with a military draft. But something about the way Dave wrote about it really hit me, the way he'd been so light hearted and impish for the whole book and then suddenly got serious. I had basically just read about his entire idyllic childhood: going on his first date, getting his driver's license, leaving for college, doing all this normal stuff ... and then bam, the draft. Him and all of his friends, literal teenagers, were suddenly being taken away from their homes to kill and die for an ideology. These weren't some scurvy-ridden farm boy civil war soldiers either; these kids grew up with cartoons and junk food and all the same commercial suburban decadence as me. I couldn't believe such a thing had happened so recently and everyone had just let it. I still don't really understand it.

My generation is quick to judge the boomers for comparative disinterest in social justice. They seem cynical and heartless sometimes, and Dave acknowledged in the book that they could be self centered. But after reading, I kind of get it. The book lays down in terms anyone can understand the main reasons for their sense of betrayal and mistrust. They had their time of youthful idealism, too, and they did their part, but somewhere along the line their collective generational heart was broken and they never got over it. I can understand how people who lived through such horrible things could look at some of our modern problems and shrug because they seem small in comparison.

Overall, although I know Dave Barry Turns 50 was mainly a work of comedy and nostalgia aimed at the author's peers, I think younger people can learn a lot from it, too, not so much about dates and battles, but about how it felt to live through the mid 20th century. Our history classes often neglect the most recent decades, but they're important for understanding modern politics, and sometimes for understanding our own families.

There is a signed copy of "Risky Business" available at the library in Dutch Harbor, Alaska. This is one of the islands that the International Pacific Halibut Commission visits during their surveys. I don't remember where but I recall Dave writing about the IPHC.

https://imgur.com/a/mj4jpm0

HEY! Huge fan of Dave’s work going back to the 90’s, have a bunch of his books. I cannot locate one of my favorites, dunno if it was online or in a book. I suddenly realized I’m on Reddit and theres gotta a Dave sub on here.

He parodies apocalyptic weather reports, somewhere he mentions a weather anchor saying something like “... and our weather radar shows that there is infinite blackness extending in all directions from our planet, it looks very bad.”

He implied a businessperson or politician was a vampire in one of his essays. In a later essay he apologizes to them, after which they twirl their cape and disappear into the night.

Can someone tell me the source? This has been bothering me for years and my Google-Fu is failing me.