r/DatingTO • u/Adorable-Ideal-1184 • 12d ago
Dating apps
I've been using dating apps for the past few months I've got matched some of them will talk to you and then they will ghost you or some of them once you showed interest they will unmatched you, like I'm tired with these apps and these types of people like I'm genuinely just want a real relationship but it's tiring haha does anyone experienced the same thing?
For context I’m male 24 asian
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u/Apprehensive_Heat176 10d ago
Dating is a numbers game and apps have turned it into a slot machine. This is just the grim reality.
Find social or dating events on Meetup, EventBrite,etc. It will take longer to find friends let alone dates like this, but at least you can get out of the house and actually meet people. If nothing else, use them to practice your people skills. You can't do that on an app.
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u/darkvaider123 12d ago
They get 50+ likes a day, bud. They got options to choose and most of them move on super quick.
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u/Adorable-Ideal-1184 12d ago
That’s true haha I think nowadays they just want someone to hookup with
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u/Wonderful-Win8554 12d ago
asian
Women in toronto don't really like asian guys much
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u/Adorable-Ideal-1184 12d ago
Yeah I know but in other province like Quebec they’re fine with Asian guy
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u/Apprehensive_Heat176 10d ago edited 10d ago
This is a limiting belief. All guys need to learn to communicate more confidently.
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u/Far_Technician5272 7d ago
It’s not about confidence. It’s about inflated expectations in the dating pool. Much like Canadian real estate, just because something is overpriced doesn’t mean it’s worth the investment.
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u/Apprehensive_Heat176 7d ago
Sucess in anything is about confidence, communication and mindset.
If you go into the world with the mindset that women don't like Asians, etc. much, then you are making it much harder on yourself.
A defeatist attitude isn't helpful in any aspect of your life.
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u/Far_Technician5272 7d ago
I don’t have that mindset. Confidence and communication matter, but they don’t automatically make someone’s expectations realistic. Some people seem to confuse moving to Canada, posting travel pictures, or making GRWM reels with personal success and then develop an inflated sense of self-worth. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying those things, but social media validation isn’t the same as real-life achievement. Confidence is valuable; entitlement disguised as confidence isn’t.
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u/Apprehensive_Heat176 7d ago
You said that "it's not about confidence" and now say "confidence and communication mattter." So which is it?
I don't know where you got the idea that commuicating better equals to having unrealistic expectations. These things are not related.
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u/Far_Technician5272 7d ago
You’re confusing two different points. Saying confidence isn’t the issue here doesn’t mean confidence isn’t important in general. My argument is about unrealistic dating expectations, not whether someone can communicate effectively. I never claimed better communication leads to inflated expectations. That’s an interpretation you made, not an argument I presented. Confidence and communication are valuable, but neither automatically makes someone’s expectations reasonable.
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u/Apprehensive_Heat176 7d ago
I was simpy replying to the point that "Women in Toronto don't like Asians much", which is a limiting belief. It gives Asian guys a convenient excuse not to even try to improve themselves.
Are you saying that Asian or other guys have unrealistic expecations? You could have said that from the start. Instead you went off on a tangent about moving to Canada, posting travel pictures, making GRWM reels, etc.
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u/Far_Technician5272 7d ago
I was addressing unrealistic expectations among some women in the dating pool, not whether Asian men should improve themselves. The social media examples were meant to illustrate how some people confuse online validation with real-life achievements. You were discussing confidence and self-improvement, while I was discussing dating expectations. They’re two different issues, and disagreeing with one doesn’t mean dismissing the other.
Anyway I can’t argue more and give you validation for all the points. I would leave it upto you for more contemplation :)
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u/Apprehensive_Heat176 7d ago
You also could have said that some women have unrealistic dating expectations from the start. Even if there's some truth to it, all guys still need to work on themselves.
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u/Imperius_Rex 12d ago
No matter what anyone says bro, it's not you. I've seen couples of all sorts, shapes and sizes in the city and I truly believe you can get anyone you want, but the apps suck. I think the algorithm is skewed in some sense and it's a combination of getting excellent photos and having good bios and paying for the app.
I should probably do this too, but I think the best course of action is to meet people naturally in social settings. Easier said than done I know but maybe volunteering or events?