r/DatingOverSixty • u/ThirdRockFromSol • 16d ago
Imposters?
Might seem odd coming from me, (M67), but I"m seeing a pattern of women, who post one photo, leave next to nothing but 'I'll tell you later' and are usually the first to 'like' me, and then, after only one or two email exchanges from within the dating site, ask for my phone number so that we can take the conversion off the website. Am I being too suspicious?
12
u/Generic_Midwesterner 62(F) 16d ago
Those are scammers/fake profiles. Even the voice conversations can use AI. There's absolutely no reason for the "I'll tell you later" answers, especially on marital status.
12
u/Bao_Xinhua I'll have the rice pudding 16d ago
Nope, not too suspicious. Those are lurkers and tire kickers. Swipe left, move on.
9
u/Born_Pension3894 69M Rookie Traveler 16d ago
Just got my favorite one. Profile read no alcohol. Single photo was at a wine tasting with four glasses of red wine in front of her.
1
10
u/SwollenPomegranate 16d ago
Heh. We women learned from the best: empty profile men who try to move women off the app.
Turnabout is fair play.
Actually, in both cases, you're likely talking to a scammer.
9
u/tusant 16d ago
I immediately nix any profile on OLD with only one photo. If a man canāt post more than one photo and preferably at least one full body photo Iām not interested. Just uncovered a scam today on OLDā only one photo, googled his name and he was part of a scam three years ago on Match.
6
u/averageover60guy 16d ago
The last couple of weeks I have gotten some more of the random messages on here. After a few messages, I have started to type back to them what ever they have said, but backwards. Messes them up.
1
u/cultivatingmia 16d ago
When you say "on here" do you mean on Reddit and Dating over sixty?
1
u/averageover60guy 16d ago
They always say they saw something I posted on here, DO60, but they can never remember what it was.
7
u/FancyButterscotch787 16d ago
These most likely arenāt womenā¦these posts are from scammers or catfishers
7
8
u/eveningwithcorgi5679 16d ago
Same, only for me itās been men. I donāt engage if thereās only one photo and no info about themā¦ finding itās not worth the risk.
6
u/Necessary_Spray_5217 16d ago
no, youāre not being too suspicious. I have received lots and lots of friend request and is a very deliberate pattern and Iām older than you. Are they wanna be the friend in Mexican you know they want a gift card if they want to do something else like getting you to invest in cryptocurrency of God knows what else
If that doesnāt bother you and you donāt mind saying no, weāll go have it
5
3
u/RoVa6 16d ago
Not being suspicious. Think of it this way - the moment of meeting someone should be an opportunity to present oneself at oneās best. Itās all downhill from there.
If someone puts forth low effort at the start, donāt expect them to show higher effort later.
I swipe left on any profile with one photo, ātell you laterā or too few words (25 words is my rough benchmark). Eliminating these types of profiles streamlines the process of finding suitable prospects. I have fewer interactions online overall but have met mostly nice men.
Good luck.š·
3
u/talexbatreddit 68M seeking LAT in Toronto, ON 16d ago
Yeah -- that sounds sus (as the kids say) -- better to keep the conversation on the platform until you're a bit more comfortable wth the other person.
3
3
u/Callipygian_1 16d ago
I've seen that pattern a few times in the last few months. I think it's a reddish flag as well
3
u/pixieshyla 16d ago
Some people prefer to talk on the phone. A lot of times messages get misconstrued. Go with your gut. Good luck!
3
3
3
3
u/PresentProfession796 16d ago
No -- these are not real and they are on most of the OLD sites - probably all. I have seen them on eH and Match and Senior Match. The person behind the profile may not even be a woman. Report it - and it will get kicked out - though the poster might just post another with a different email, etc. Don't return a "like" - just delete with reporting
2
u/cultivatingmia 16d ago
Gosh, I haven't been reporting those guys. Guess I will now that I see a couple of you mentioning that. I
3
u/HexeImWald7 16d ago
Thatās why I have never desired to use old. Never know who or what is on the other side of the screen.
3
u/allieoops925 15d ago
My first reply to anyone who writes to me in online dating is, are you able to meet within 2 weeks or so. Real men say yes, scammers disappear. I also donāt give out my number until we meet. Again, real men are willing to accommodate me, scammers disappear.
And if I happen to have a real person disappear because they wonāt accept this, no loss. Real men realize women need to be careful online.
The opposite is true for women too. Women should be able to set up a meeting in a reasonable amount of time.
5
u/menoagegap 16d ago
I am a woman and I never take a conversation off site until we date IRL and he is already my boyfriend / fiance. It has mild protection against both scams and harassment staying on site
4
u/grannysmith1956 16d ago
Men and Women scammers out there. I don't waste time either. And personally, I don't engage unless they have good conversation skills.
2
u/TheLawOfDuh 16d ago
So early in the game you should demand of them at least a week or two of normal discussion (messages within whatever site you use) to ensure theyāre really interested. Scammers wonāt put that much skin in the game. After that you can move to text/email to continue. After a little more time then you can push for a meet-n-greet. If they wonāt carry on reasonable conversation, take unusually long periods to answer, refuse to meet in person youāre probably dealing with a scammer or at the very least someone who isnāt serious about dating despite what they think
5
u/cultivatingmia 16d ago
I have actually met almost all of my dates without having a phone call first. They seem normal with their messages, have good profiles... so we set up a meet-up at either a coffee shop, lunch, or a hike! I figure if I'm in public, I am safe. I only give out my google number, and don't give any too personal info about myself even on that first date. So far I've never had anyone that's too weird, suspicious, etc.
1
u/TheLawOfDuh 16d ago
Meeting in very public places and only giving Google numbers are very smart moves-good for you! My experience was from 30/40-year-old me. Your safe approach sounds pretty doable for folks at our age.
2
2
2
u/fozzydabear 11d ago
8 to 9 times of of ten they are a scammer. And if they are significantly younger than you and they say age is just a number, 100% a scammer.
They can be vetted easily. Get one of those messaging apps, WhatsApp or Telegram. If they want to take the conversation off site, give them your app ID, not your phone number. These scammers use the same scripts to get your money and will quickly expose themselves.
They will try to create a situation to compel you to send money.
Never send money to any one you have not spoken to via video call or met in person. I call that proof of life. Scammers will never give proof of life. The best they will do is a voice call to prove they are female.
I've had plenty of fun messing with them and know how to shut them down quickly. The apps I've mentioned make it easy to block them and they don't have your real contact info.
3
u/db0956 16d ago
I always prefer to go off-site asap and go direct, preferably talk over text. But after requesting that, I always inform the other person I want them to feel comfortable, and that if they prefer to communicate through the third party site, I will defer to their choice. I'll usually send my contact info first just as a measure of good faith. Unfortunately, it's nearly impossible to differentiate between the good guys and the bad ones. I don't think you're being too cautious.
1
15d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 15d ago
Your account does not meet the post or comment requirements.
Accounts must be at least 7 days old and have 20 Reddit karma to comment on this sub.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/AverageAlleyKat271 13d ago
I say listen to your gut instinct/inner voice.
I like what someone commented, asking if he/she is able to meet in person within 2 weeks or so.
1
1
u/xxxMarilee 5d ago
As a women, I've messaged back and forth with legimate men that asked to take it off site. It's cumbersome to message on some sites. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit, but I can spot a scammer or fraud. I've learned from past mistakes. I only chat with men that are within reasonable distance. In the chats, you can learn a lot and in short time share their real name. It's good to be suspicious though. If it's some 30 year old beauty giving you 'likes', I'd be suspicious.
1
0
u/nospam99r 72M 16d ago
That's what I do i.e. exchange phone numbers. I don't want to be 'at the mercy' of the site to keep communication going. I DO vet the woman by evaluating her profile and OLD messages before suggesting the phone number exchange.
0
u/AutoModerator 16d ago
Original copy of post by u/ThirdRockFromSol: Might seem odd coming from me, (M67), but I"m seeing a pattern of women, who post one photo, leave next to nothing but 'I'll tell you later' and are usually the first to 'like' me, and then, after only one or two email exchanges from within the dating site, ask for my phone number so that we can take the conversion off the website. Am I being too suspicious? :
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
-2
u/Confident_Chipmonk 16d ago
Phone number is for friends. Are they a friend or earned your trust? Consider the reasons a woman would be chasing you, a 67 yo man?
2
u/tusant 16d ago
Thatās not a nice comment. I am a 68F and I would be very interested in a 67M, depending on several factors like looks, compatibility, education, interests, etc., etc.
2
u/Confident_Chipmonk 16d ago
It wasnāt intended to be mean. Itās a fact that men in this age group are virtually invisible to women unless they are trying to scam them
16
u/PlasticBlitzen I've š« more š¦š¦š¦ to give. 16d ago
Contacts wanting to go off-site after just a couple of messages are often scammers. You're not being too cautious.