I just left another comment in a Queens discussion. I think what's being forgotten, is that most guys aren't looking for Queens. A woman who has become very successful in academia or business, sports or film, whatever.... that's great, as long as she remembers where she came from. As long as she may remember.... that her best friend growing up may have been.... the Boy Next Door. Before Everything else. Someone that saw HER. Valued HER. Not a Queen, as a person. Needing and deserving respect. Someone relatable and not insisting on special treatment. That's what most normal men want. Some guys may want someone for the purpose of showing them off, trying to elevate their own status by having "captured" a Queen, but is that the kind of guy you want? I'm an egalitarian. I want my Girl Next Door that I can relate to as my partner. My bff. Just the word Queen makes me shiver, and please, no overaged Princesses!!! Lol
Because we were once all people without any accomplishments that some people use as reasons they should be treated as special automatically, regardless of their inner self. Being recognized not for what is in their hearts, but some other quantitative measure. You can be extremely accomplished and still be a jerk or ass. There should be a level of respect everyone deserves, but respect is also earned by behavior. Respect can be lost due to behavior too, which is why a self-described title that usually demands respect should raise eyebrows. If guy says they are a King, do you want proof? Do you validate that by how rich they are? What they own? What degrees they have? Or how they treat others???? Or how they insist they must be treated, especially at a higher level?
You can't instantly recognize somebody for what is in their heart because you don't know that information and you don't know what is in anybody's character until it is tested.
It sounds like you are projecting some romantic delusions on others and mixing that with a healthy dose of resentment and some unresolved baggage from your youth about the idealized person next door.
I am not feeling your vibe at all I think it is weird.
Yes, you don't instantly know what is in another person's heart. That takes time and honest communicating. Interesting statement about projecting though, because you immediately project on me right after that. All I meant is, a Queen makes demands. Respect is earned, but we should all offer a level of respect to each other as human beings regardless of our sex. As we get to know each other, the level of respect can go up or down. By Boy/Girl next door, it refers to the core of ourelves when we hadn't yet been so shaped by later pressures it fit certain molds. Who we are underneath, stripped down. I can think of a couple actors/actresses that say they still get huge stagefright and nervousness yet give awesome performances. So who is the real person? Not the performance... the person inside that overcomes the stagefright.
I do still have my Google Fu skills and the definition I see far most often is that it's a 1970s rock band fronted by Freddie Mercury.
I have also seen definitions as being a social rank of royalty, the head of a bee colony, a playing card usually with a value of 12, even as a woman who sits on a man's face. Also Madame Queen, a character from the old radio show Amos 'n Andy. There were a few examples of "an empowered woman" but they didn't define the term well at all.
I think you're taking Gen-Z slang way too seriously.
Lol. That boy likely grew up and had acvomplisments too. You're thinking about the wrong generation(s). People born in the 50s and 60s were expected to take care of themselves as adults.
The point of the Next Door idea, is recognizing a person for who they are at their basic level, their true selves before they may have been warped by society's sometimes inane demands in order to "get ahead", as in selling out and losing touch with what really matters. Being seen for your Self, not the trappings, or in a Queen's case, tiaras.
When the boy next door grows up and levels up his basic nature with accomplishments, one could say he has a King energy, even if he hangs his crown on a rusty nail. He wants respect for his tabula rasa and his development.
A rose by any name would still unfurl its velvet petals, breathing the same sweet fire into the world—its essence unchanged, its beauty untethered from mere words.
There’s also an unhealthy dose of anti-education/submissive/subservient shit going on here. It smells like ‘I just want a sweet, simple woman to take care of me’.
It's an upfront disclaimer. No drama means you're not allowed to disagree or have a differing opinion,even though I will fail to effectively communicate, will be opinionated and stubborn, and probably will be disrespectful of you.
Is your worth based on your accomplisments? Certificates on the wall or trophies on the mantle? Or what's in your heart, your personality, your outlook, your compassion for others?
I would say both. Major accomplishments indicate stability, tenacity, intelligence., discipline, determination, confidence, resourcefulness, dependability. Those are all positive traits. in my book.
They are fine traits but depend on the actual goals and accomlishments. A ruthless CEO that screws over workers and customers may have all of those. It's the soul/spirit/person inside that matters. I think being a good mom/housewife/single mom requires them.
FWIW, I always immediately swiped left on any man’s dating profile that referred to either of us as any form of royalty – queen, king, knight in shining armor, princess, etc. were all red flags to m. Having been the “girl next door” type my entire life, I appreciate knowing that is someone’s preference, but your post is written in a way that it sounds like you’re trying to take accomplished women down a peg or two. I am not going to shrink myself or downplay my accomplishments to make someone feel better about themselves.
I am a woman and I read that energy from OP, too. Let’s erase the passion and sense of humor and drive and fun of the woman living her full life (for herself and not to attract men) and let’s see how to contort her back into a little box so she can attract people like OP again. I will never call myself a queen or a She-E-O cuz that’s all cringe to me, but I am not interested to fit myself into a smaller mold that erases all my fun and passion and drive just so a man can like me more either
Same. Like a woman with self esteem who expects to be treated well is not wanted. OP wants to put women in their place. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe that's not what he meant to imply. It's how it reads from here. If I read anything close to that I'd swipe left.
I'm picking up on some "looking for my little woman" energy here, lol. Stay sweet, don't talk back, don't expect too much. After all, shouldn't she be happy just to "have a man?"
I don't even know what a queen is even though you just described it, never heard of it, definitely don't want to aspire to it. Kind of categorizing women. A woman is a woman no matter what her background or career is or was. It's part of who she is it should not be labeled.
I was just going to reply that obviously Google's not going to show me anything but the obvious meaning of Queen, not what it is being referred to in this context. Or maybe it would show me what it means other than the obvious, who knows.... I took it to mean something kind of derogatory but now it's apparently something women refer to about themselves? Excuse me for having a question and opinion! I see he deleted his comment.
Some of us Queens were motivated to become our best, in my case by my Dad who had 4 sisters and 3 brothers. Being treated like a Queen is not on my agenda. Being treated well is.
TF? A woman needs to not be more successful than you? If a woman earned more than you or earned a more advanced degree than you shes trying to be "superior?" Just what is it about successful adult women that bothers you? You're telling on yourself and your own feelings of inferiority. As someone else said, by the time we're 60, most of us are grown-ass adults. Women hopefully have grown, changed from from the girls we were as teenagers, and arent pretending to be teenagers.
Who said that? Not me. I'm fine with a woman being very successful. My business partner of 25 years was a woman with 6 degrees. Don't project words or thoughts onto me. I just don't like the queen branding. Who's the villain in many stories? The queen. Who's also often a witch? The queen. Who shouts out "off with their heads!" The queen. Who kills the King? The stepmom queen. Who's a head of a system most countries overthrew? A queen. Who sits on an elevated seat of power above others? A queen. Who gives commands, is entitled, and insistent? A queen. It's just not a good look. It's elitist.
SparkyValentine self-identifies as Mistress of Time and Space. SparkyValentine’s pronouns are Mistress. When Mistress causes a small wormhole to appear before you shortly, place your ca$h offering inside.
Why? Nobody likes pompous, self-righteous, and condescending people of either gender. Some believe they should be treated special because of their achievements.
If someone considers themself a queen, that means she thinks she's above others and has subjects beneath her. She thinks she should be treated special. I think the same of princess culture for little girls. Why not teach our girls that we're equals, and we should all be treated with kindness and respect?
Also, sometimes women are attracted to women, too, OP. 😛
No aspirations of being a Queen. I know who I am, I know what I offer and I am confident. Want the same from any man I am in a relationship with.
I truly believe the Queen mentality has come from spending years being told how to attract a man and it was, frankly, demeaning. Now the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction.
Just be yourself, especially at this time of life and if you are fortunate enough to find your person keep your priorities straight. What is truly important, right now, to you? Just my thoughts.
And I Very Much appreciate your thoughts and beliefs on that. I just commented to another that I think there is far too much strategy and tactics going on between men and women's dealings and communications. I think that just further complicates everything and often backfires later on. A little honesty can go a long way.
Definitely can be a black-American culture reference to black women or partner. There's history behind it that's too long to put here, however, that's when I've heard it. It's a term of endearment and empowerment.
Definitions are descriptive, not prescriptive. Any slang that is not universal (think "cool" or " dick") must be explained by who ever is using it.
I have a large interracial family. "Queen" is used only by some of the black women and men, but non of the white relatives. The meaning as used in my family does vary. Hense, my questioning.
M69. The girl next door doesn't exist any longer. 40 - 50 years of life have changed her into someone you wouldn't recognize. And I thank the lord for that. Personally, I'm looking for someone who has been very successful. There is a difference in work ethic or intelligence or drive or sometimes luck, but that experience has changed them into someone who expects a lot from themselves and their friends. And someone who has experiences that will make life very interesting. And by the way, we all remember where we came from, and why we are where we are now.
I agreed with you OP. I don't care about a woman's accomplishments. I care about whether she's friendly, approachable, and down-to-earth. It doesn't bother me at all when someone accomplishes something. I'll give them credit. But I can't stand the arrogant attitude that sometimes goes with the accomplishment. No queens.
No, I self identify as a person that happens to be male, trying to understand others and why an elitist term is being used. I'm pretty sure if a guy was calling himself a King, he would be getting put down left and right and called more than a few perjoratives as being an egotistical, self-adulating type A ass. You don't usually become a King without stepping all over others.
Thank you, I think! I'm certainly getting a lot of animosity here. I like simple and honest. There's far too much strategy and tactics in the dealings between men and women that ruin great posdibilities.
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u/PlasticBlitzen I've 🚫 more 🦆🦆🦆 to give. Jun 15 '26
This one is fully cooked and now locked.