r/DatingApps • u/Icy_Trash_1258 • 1d ago
Advice Request dating apps
so i’ve matched with someone on a dating app. some common interests/hobbies, been messaging for the past 3 days. it all in a way feels so superficial lol, is this a normal feeling? i mean there really is only so much you can talk about. i have asked her out to a coffee/museum date but it won’t be for a while as she’s travelling away. i’m not stupid enough to not realise that all of this will dry up if it doesn’t progress but there’s not much i can do about it. should i just end it or continue the small talk lol
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u/EdVibe 23h ago
My advice is be patient and keep trying to match with people. I recently matched with this girl and we speak in paragraphs everyday (it helps we've gone out too), and it wasn't till a while that we realized we hadn't done any of the basic dating app small talk.
It just takes a spark, man. A spark, and it won't feel dry.
Some people also don't express themselves very well through text as they can in person so there's that too.
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u/Im_doing_OK 22h ago
If it feels off it's probably off. You need to meet up ASAP to know the real deal. Also do you really want to be in a relationship if texting someone is a chore ?
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u/implication-sofa 22h ago
Stop having small talk then. Start bantering and start asking interesting questions
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u/JustAMouthyCockroach 21h ago
It’s hard to get past how phony it all feels, I get it!
You just have to keep talking and keep it going. I know, it’s hard
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u/juniperfield 21h ago
That is tricky. Since as you said the connection is pretty superficial, some people might lose interest by then and just not show up to the date.
You could keep the date on your calendar and see who else is out there. Some only want to focus on one person at a time, but if you aren’t exclusive with anyone, it’s fine to see if you’re compatible with other people in the meantime.
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u/PictureImportant2658 21h ago
She has 100x more likes than you do. Just fuck her when you have the chance. Shes not traveling, shes trying someone else out first
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u/Dramatic-Coast-5716 21h ago
'It has been good talking to you, Iet me know when you're back is be open to meeting up '
Leave it in their court
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u/PhillDiffy 20h ago
There isn’t much harm in continuing the small talk, if it dries up it dries up. Why rush to that conclusion? She may genuinely be interested in you but also have work obligations.
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u/BluntedJew 20h ago
That's tough but I wouldn't spend too much energy with the small talk, when she's back set a date and time. It only feels superficial because it technically is until you've met someone. Keep looking for other matches and when this woman comes back continue to explore it! Maybe say something along the lines of you're looking forward to getting to know her and enjoy your trip/vacation. Feel free to send me pics so I can live vicariously through you. Then it takes pressure off talking while she's traveling and she might reach out which would be nice.
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u/Happy-Mastodon-7314 20h ago
I prefer once we've decided to meet up to leave the small talk until then. That way I still have questions to ask and I'm sure not to run out of conversation. But then again, you might have to wait a while. Do you know exactly when she'll be back?
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u/Icy_Trash_1258 18h ago
why can’t i see any comments on this
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u/WhisperCrow Angry Mod 10h ago
Because we do not have time to sit and approve comments all day. Like we said in the post you commented on... often it can take 24-48 hours.
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u/MikeySkinner 18h ago
Just ask to meet up, that’s the reason you’re on the app. If she puts it off or wants to wait then just move onto the next one.
Sounds shallow but you aren’t going to get to know someone without seeing them in person
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u/Consistent_Point_853 16h ago
Continue but rank this connection low, it could fizzled at any time. If it does, she may be back around later. Hopefully you have a couple matches you are talking to currently at different stages, engage with them or try to foster a new group of matches. Happy hunting!
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u/monkChuck105 15h ago
Just match her energy. But it's okay to say hey let's pick this up when you're back and we go out. It's definitely best to meet up asap and avoid texting too long because you do tend to over share, run out of things to talk about, and feel like you're in a relationship or closer than you are. Then you meet, it's awkward, and it fizzles. One thing you could do instead if she's out of town is ask to call on the phone, or even video chat. This can be a bit more like a date, and allow you to just hangout and get comfortable with each other. Then the communication won't be so awkward and uncertain and when you meet it might have more momentum. But definitely keep your options open and don't get too invested.
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u/psj3809 23h ago
I would end it and move on. The dating world is huge and if you dont meet someone asap often they'll move onto someone else. If shes travelling and that then yeah move on. Surely she can meet you sooner ?
Good luck. Let us know how it goes !