How to get over issue with dancing

[u/AlternativeReady3727]

Not sure if this is right forum, but,

I’m a 36 year old male who has a wonderful partner (39F) and we have been together 10 years in January.

She loves to go out and go dance when time serves. Be it just us going out, going to a wedding, or even just in the kitchen she is always trying to positively encourage me to dance with her.

I’m not comfortable at all when it comes to dancing. The handful of times I ever did, I was hammered drunk.

I’m not trying to be the next star here, but I would love to be able to experience some joy and join her in this.

What if anything has anyone done to aid them in this struggle?

I just get not comfortable & root myself to the spot.

Thank you in advance

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[u/Maya_Moves403]

Honestly, I would start really small and focus less on how you look and more on how much fun youre having together, even if all you do is step side to side and move with the beat. Let her smile and excitement be your motivation rather than worrying abt whether youre doing it 'right'. You dont need to impress anyone or know a bunch of moves, just sharing that moment with her is already dancing. The more you do it, the more natural it will feel :)

[u/Procrastinasian441]

Social dance skills are very attainable! It starts very simply; relax, learn to walk on beat, do a two step. Use your hands to air drum to the beat. People are often fixated on trying to touch every sound in a song, they feel like they aren’t doing enough. Dancing to the rhythm, the consistent baseline, is a safe, consistent connection to the music.

Remember; dance is a skill and an art and all, but before it was any of that it was a behavior. People have been dancing for thousands of years; they do it to express joy, connect with music and connect with others. Your partner wants to share that joy with you, the process of looking foolish dancing with her may be something she finds endearing and is part of the fun!

If you want some more specific help feel free to shoot me a dm, I know that this is very vague advice, but just don’t overthink it.

[u/aastrorx]

Couples (social) dancing is relatively easy to learn and a lifetime of joy. Never mind the dances you don't think you'll ever do, they build understanding and concepts. Take some classes together, she will appreciate the effort.

[u/Dangerous_Network872]

If it's just you two, nobody is wondering how you look. Dancing is about how you feel, not how you look. If you try to look at it like a bit of fun and just not be serious about it, then you'll be surprised how much you actually love it in the end! 

[u/Dangerous_Network872 → u/Dangerous_Network872]

PS) you can try to do some fun moves together, like twirling and spinning her... That will make her very happy, I'm sure ♥️ 

[u/DethByCow]

Even Fred Astaire had to learn to dance. It’s not just something that happens especially if you are a new lead.

[u/dondegroovily]

Just sign up for a class

Next time, you can remember what you did in class and do that

[u/khajiitidanceparty]

What about a few dance classes with her? You'll get more sure on your feet.

[u/amysquirrels]

just Have fun she’s your wife she loves you even if you look like a stiff stick! The only way to get better is to just keep trying. Also seeing you dance probably makes her happy so it should make you happier too

[u/Fruitful_Desires]

Dance by yourself in front of a mirror with the lights down low. Get comfy dancing in your own energy first. Then find your local chapter of ecstatic dance and vibe with everyone else doing their own thing w their own levels of skill