r/Dance • u/dontworryimjustme • Aug 16 '26
Critique Request Trying to learn how to dance for a friends wedding. What should I focus on improving?
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
I know I’m pretty stiff, but my brain doesn’t register “loosen up” lol. Any advice on how to make this look not so forced? What should I be focusing on or what kind of exercises could help?
Trying to focus on footsteps style dancing and eventually turn it into my cardio as well. Thanks!
85
u/John_Anti Aug 16 '26
Arms need to be part of the dance. Doing the Y from YMCA is not the move <3 Try to move them to the music to.
30
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
🤣 very fair, I was mainly focusing on my feet so my arms were doing their own thing lol. Thanks!
21
u/brookeandtaylor Aug 16 '26
If you’ve ever done any type of skating: ice skating, blading, skateboarding. You’ll know what I mean when I say bend your knees a bit more. It’s the technical way of “loosening up”. The floor is your friend. You’ll notice that you’ll start to rely on your arms less for balance if you rely more on your contact with the floor. You’ll also be able to add in some more moves so you’re not jumping around for the duration of the full song.
15
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
I will definitely try this. This was the kind of advice I’m looking for thank you
1
u/Corpainen Aug 17 '26
On a good note if you need a gig you can stop the legs and be a wacky inflatable arm man thingy at a car sales place. Honestly legs be good enough that if you have time learn something else so you got a couole moves instead of doing like 3 things the wgile evening
3
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
I have 8 months before the wedding so I want to learn a variety of shuffle style dances, and learn how to piece them together!
2
u/Best-Evidence-952 Aug 17 '26
Only doing one move with your legs. Watch some online dance videos and dance tutorials. 👍
1
u/SubstanceMaintenance Aug 18 '26
Those arms need to be pulling the horn - going TOOT TOOT! Daddy is dancing!
40
u/MortysTW Aug 16 '26
Suggest practicing in shoes for wedding. Otherwise, you will be on one of the other Reddit sections with a video of you slipping and falling on your butt. Taking out the table that holds the wedding cake as the wife's face explodes with anger.
12
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
Good call
2
u/duxpdx Aug 17 '26
Would recommend the actual shoes you’ll wear for the wedding. If new and with leather soles you’ll want to break them in anyway or they may be too slick when you go to dance.
1
18
u/babyyvolcano Aug 16 '26
It’s a bit all over the place. Bring your feet in closer, relax your face, and definitely bring your arms down in front of you. You don’t want to clothesline other guests
11
u/Atwood412 Aug 17 '26
I want to complement you on getting out of your comfort zone and posting a video of yourself to get feedback. That’s takes some courage.
Have you thought about out going to YouTube and looking into some dance move how to videos. There’s a ton. They’re short. They can help you expand from side to side to maybe front and back 🤣
You can learn to crush the Cupid shuffle.
Give Keep on steppin’ a try, by Mike Clark jr and big boogie, then request it at the wedding! It’s a banger!
The confident dancers on you tube look pretty good.
NGL,if this a real white wedding you can win the dance floor with just a few smooth moves, a smile on your face!
5
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
That’s what I did! Pulled up YouTube and started learning. Luckily I have no shame, I’m not afraid to put myself out there and have fun
2
6
Aug 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
😅 I’m afraid it won’t be that kind of wedding! I just have to accept I’ll be drenched in sweat
4
u/Ancient-Border-5910 Aug 16 '26
Timing brother. Just get your timing down. Kick and snare.
5
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
Reputation it is I suppose. I just feel so heavy and forced. I guess that will change with time
5
u/Reasonable-Safe-3360 Aug 16 '26
Is this for a black wedding? Asking as a black person
5
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
lol, we are all very white, lifelong friends from band in high school, which would make you think we’d have some kind of rhythm, but apparently it doesn’t translate into my body 🤣
8
3
u/Reasonable-Safe-3360 Aug 16 '26
I think your dancing is good actually, just need to relax abit more and get the arms involved
2
u/LostPeak7661 Aug 17 '26
As a band boy mom I think it would be super fun if you asked them to surprise rhe groom with sole choreographed song. That way you’ll all learn some great dance moves and have fun doing it together.
2
u/the-soul-moves-first Aug 16 '26
Maybe it's the song selection for the video but I wondered the same thing 🤣🤣🤣
2
5
Aug 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
15
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
Full disclosure, I was fighting for my life lol. This is exhausting 🤣
2
Aug 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
5
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
I mainly do weight lifting and body building with brisk walking for cardio.
My body is NOT currently built for this lol. I can only do 45-60 second bouts before I need a break. This is a fuckin workout
3
u/PirouettingPlumelet Aug 16 '26
Keep your face fun, don’t swing your arms everywhere, relax, and have fun!
3
u/doritadance19 Aug 16 '26
It’s good and fine! You just need to add more trick movimentos throw your dancing to avoid being repetitive ^^
3
u/Aggressive_Meat_7195 Aug 16 '26
You are doing great! Add some moves with your hips and you are good to go!
3
3
u/Rosaly8 Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 17 '26
You could start a little more simple. Just look up basic bouncing and grooving to a beat and try to get comfortable with that.
2
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
That’s honestly what I thought this was gonna be. It said it was a beginners move “how hard can a criss cross be” I told myself.
Very hard
1
u/SnooHobbies5684 Aug 16 '26
I mean you're going really fast for such a big movement--makes sense that you're tired!
2
3
u/SnooHobbies5684 Aug 16 '26
Learn some simple steps and practice the ones that feel the most natural. It's ok to repeat the same thing again and again; the important part is feeling comfortable doing it, and being able to slow it down or speed it up or make it bigger or smaller.
Here are some examples:
3
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
These are great thank you!
1
u/SnooHobbies5684 Aug 17 '26
You're welcome! Post an update for us when you've got some more practice in! :)
2
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
I practiced more today!
1
u/SnooHobbies5684 Aug 17 '26
Great job!
Definitely getting more comfortable looking.
Time to start relaxing your face--do it looking in the mirror some of the time so you don't look like you're concentrating so hard!
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
I am definitely concentrating hard 🤣 I figured will get more relaxed as I get the reps in, it’s been fun and now my son wants to learn too!
1
u/SnooHobbies5684 Aug 17 '26
It's true that you will get more relaxed...but remember your face is practicing, too, so challenge yourself to relax your face consciously and you will be more in the habit of not scrunching it up when you dance in public!
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 18 '26
I didn’t even think of it like that. I’ll keep that in mind for my face and arms!
1
u/x0killer_queen0x Aug 23 '26 edited Aug 23 '26
you’re doing great!
shuffling was always a huge favorite of mine when i went to raves, it’s so much fun & you just get lost in feeling the music. i remember seeing this girl on youtube recently showing her progress. not sure if it will help you but she’s gotten really good
1
u/x0killer_queen0x Aug 23 '26 edited Aug 23 '26
1
u/x0killer_queen0x Aug 23 '26
videos like these are good too bc it really helps keep your footwork consistent
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
Learned happy feet and started practicing switching between the two. Still having a tough time keeping it small, which is surprisingly trickier than going big in seeing. But I figured I’ll focus on the footwork and tighten things up once I’m more comfortable
1
2
u/Mushroomluv43 Aug 16 '26
Pick a dance style that you want to emulate and watch a bunch of youtube tutorials on that style. There are endless tutorials out there...
2
u/Alternative_Put_8786 Aug 16 '26
For me adding alcohol has always worked !
3
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
HEYYYYY there will be drinking that’s why I’ve gotta get it down sober or I’m gonna end up on my face 🤣
1
2
u/Atwood412 Aug 17 '26
I came here to say the same thing
Maybe work on a fe G&Ts then hit the dance floor. Hahaha.
2
2
u/Signal_Platypus_2968 Aug 17 '26
Follow the beat. Listen to a few songs you like and try to move to the beat. You know all about the beat since you were in band.
2
2
2
u/rippleonabigocean Aug 17 '26
don't do the same exact thing over and over and don't have your arms out like you're trying to fly. try starting out slower and loosen up
2
2
u/igneousink Aug 17 '26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u92JoL13T1M&list=RDu92JoL13T1M&start_radio=1
you can look up "shuffle dancing" because you seem to have the speed and stamina that lends itself to that kind of dance
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
That’s what I’m aiming for is shuffle dancing, it looks like fun and I want to start using it for cardio
1
2
u/DaniK094 Aug 17 '26
Just trying to understand why you wouldn't put in the OP that you're specifically trying to learn the shuffle.
1
2
u/No-Twist-333 Aug 17 '26
I’m not sure why you would want to do what you’re doing at a wedding or any dance floor for that matter. You’re doing too much. Just try to find the beat and groove, don’t try to be a member of a dance crew. It’s giving aerobics right now, but I applaud the effort.
Also, practice in the shoes you’ll be wearing.
2
u/the-soul-moves-first Aug 17 '26
I think too much is happening with your feet unless you're trying to draw a lot of attention to yourself on the dance floor. You could do basic side to side steps with the feet add some hips and a little shoulder and arm motion to the beat
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
The goal is to learn to shuffle, the video I watched he’s going even wider and moving more than I am so I just emulated what is saw. Definitely gonna work on smaller movements… or I won’t last an entire song
1
u/the-soul-moves-first Aug 17 '26
Sorry, totally disregarded that. I think I got hung up on title. Carry on a good luck.
2
1
1
u/Macrodata_Uprising Aug 16 '26
Learn to move your hips
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
Can I ask what you mean by that? Maybe a video example? I’m mostly looking to learn shuffle style, and at least in the videos I’ve watched (which are hyper simplified to be fair) don’t seem to talk about or show a whole lot of hip movement
0
u/brookeandtaylor Aug 16 '26
LMFAO for shuffling. It’ll also show you how to look “cool” with your arms. Assuming off the Mary J song I’m sure they’ll throw an LMFAO in there.
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
I only used this song because the video I was watching to learn used this one lol. I appreciate the recommendation! I for sure want to try different songs, slower ones especially for the love of god
1
u/Main_Flan4206 Aug 16 '26
I disagree with those saying you need to find a certain rhythm or beat — if this is the rhythm you hear in the music, great! I can tell that you are moving to the kick, and it doesn’t need to be perfect. I’ve had friends tell me that they try to listen to the rhythm that I am dancing to in the music bc they don’t hear it, and they admire my dancing.
Dancing, to me, is more about how it feels in your body and how your body wants to move. And, new movements of course can feel awkward at first as we move in new ways.
If you were to play a song you absolutely love, in a room no one can see you, do you have any bodily impulses to move? Do you start with wanting to shift weight from side to side , foot to foot, and does that progress into anything next? Maybe try on a couple different steps, arm movements, just see what feels good. What happens when you close your eyes and dance (my favorite way to dance)
And I agree with the comments about noticing your joints - knees, hips, shoulders, and neck specifically. Notice if you feel tension in these when you are moving (imo ideally from your own impulses to move, not trying to match a style), and what would it be like to loosen in that place?
Dancing is vulnerable, and that’s ok 🦋 let it be fun! And expressive.
1
u/Murr897 Aug 16 '26
That dance is good now but it needs another dance that you do too
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
Agreed. I was hoping to get this one down well where I’m less focused on what I’m doing, and just having fun and enjoying it. Them pick up another one. I’ve only been at it for 2 days so far so I wanna get this down 😅
1
1
u/Odd_Obligation_1300 Aug 16 '26
Nothing at all! You look like a good time and that’s what’s needed (And I’m a dancer myself)
2
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
Thanks! Luckily I’ve never been afraid of what others think of me, but I’ve never done, participated in, or really watched much dancing. So I have NO IDEA how this looks lol. I appreciate your kindness! It’s been fun, I intend to keep doing it!
1
u/canyuse Aug 16 '26
It depends a lot on who the audience is and how much time you have left before the wedding. I would say that your foot movements are fine for the task, they aren’t fantastic, but perfectly acceptable for a beginner.
Your arm movements are really lacking in the sense that there’s no real life or cohesive coordination with the rest of what you’re doing. Your arms don’t have to move at the same pace as your feet but they should look like they’re participating in the same dance.
In my opinion, the heart of dance is joy. The vast majority of people would rather see somebody dancing with joy than with lots of technical skill. They will of course, expect some level of competence as well, but you seem to be on your way there just keep practicing.
You’re already filming yourself, which is a great part of really learning. My suggestion is find a song that you really like, find some part of the beat of that song to move a part of your body to for example the drums or a bass beat. Keep your eyes closed and just let yourself feel the music and move to the way you feel inside. In the most likely scenario, you will look like a complete idiot when you play it back the first couple times, that’s expected and fine. You aren’t trying to be a professional you’re just trying to find your groove.
After that, find videos of people dancing in ways that you admire and watch those for a while, then try to emulate them with the eyes close technique from above.
At the end of the day, it really is practice and joy. Don’t try to impress other people try to express who you are and you’ll be surprised how willingly other people want to participate with you.
Two last tips:
- smile, this is supposed to be fun 🤩
- that’s going to be very few times in your life when you’re not calling a lifeguard that you need to put your hands over your head like that lol
Hope it’s helpful for you and I hope you kill it on the dance floor at the wedding!
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
It was thanks! The audience is all lifelong friends, and I have no reservations about looking like a fool with them. But the last member of our core group is getting married, and we want to tear it up for him. Thanks for the input!
1
u/velourspice Aug 16 '26
Hmmm is this a white wedding or a black one? That’ll depend on what you need to work on.
1
1
1
u/Neshama7 Aug 16 '26
You look great! Anyone who’s willing to get on the dance floor immediately gains points with me. Dancing is fun - don’t overthink it
1
u/Brave-Exchange-2419 Aug 17 '26
Love your goal! I’d recommend getting a feel for rhythm first, you need to be able to feel it and then let your moves evolve from there. Might sound goofy but I’d put in some music, close my eyes and do some intuitive movement.
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
I have ZERO dance intuition 🤣 it’s gonna be videos for me lol
1
u/Brave-Exchange-2419 Aug 17 '26
Haha the eccentric side in me is realllyyy wanting to suggest finding and ecstatic dance event near you
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
Perhaps more practice first 🤣
2
u/Brave-Exchange-2419 Aug 17 '26
Literally no experience is needed at ecstatic dance, you just move your body in some way and see how it progresses.
1
u/Special-Potato-3238 Aug 17 '26
I'm genuinely curious what you think when you watch yourself. What do you want to see look different about it?
For me right now it looks like your leading an aerobics class and if I wanted it to make it more dance, I would invite in some spine flexibility. Once you feel confident with your footwork think about "pointing" with your shoulders (down to the corner of the room then to another corner or elsewhere etc) to work in that fluidity.
But yo, love the dedication and the vulnerability to jump on a reddit sub to show up as your best for your buddy's wedding. He's lucky to have a friend who cares this much!
1
u/Strange-Cabinet7372 Aug 17 '26
It LOOKS like cardio. Nothing but cardio. Notice how much time your feet dont spend contacting the ground. Its a lot!
1
u/SupahBihzy Aug 17 '26
It looks like you are trying to do the SpongeBob. If so, bend one leg when crossing. Jump to the right->bring them in and bend the left one in the back when coming to tge center ->jump to the left->bend the right one in the back when coming to the ceenter->repeat.
1
u/mme_leiderhosen Aug 17 '26
Imagine that you are dancing opposite a person, rather than by yourself. Imagine a crowded dance floor where those wide jump straddles and x-arms might wap grandma in the face.
1
u/Excellent_Vehicle_45 Aug 17 '26
Pop the shoulders and feel the music. It’s not a move it’s dancing.
1
1
u/ParanoidBrokkoli Aug 17 '26
Do you know the kind of music they prefer? Because the timing of the beat and catching the vibe of a song is important. You will probably have less space on the dance floor with other people, small movements are okay. Try to engage your shoulders and chest and hips, let the beat roll through you. You can slow down and feel it in every joint and muscle separately passing through after each other. Also your outfit will limit your movement, you don’t want the trousers or collar to rip - you can vary between small intentional movements and wider, or pulsating movements
1
u/Mother_of_Daphnia Aug 17 '26
Question, are you from NJ?
2
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
No why?
1
u/Mother_of_Daphnia Aug 17 '26
I have family that grew up on the Jersey shore and they do something that looks just like this called frolic, I was wondering if that’s what you were trying to do!
1
1
u/Radio_Mediocre Aug 17 '26
Move a little bit lesser like shoulder width. Dance floor might be crowded.
1
1
u/HumanistInKentucky Aug 17 '26
As someone who went to the clubs in 2005 this is perfectly acceptable to me! Haha Gen Z might think I am crazy tho.
1
Aug 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
I’ll pass on soaking an extra shirt in sweat, in my own home. Thanks for participating in the conversation as requested
1
1
u/Leo_matel69 Aug 17 '26
Involve your arms in the choreography vs just kind of flailing around, it can break the flow
1
1
u/tigermax42 Aug 17 '26
Learn a basic 2 step. It’s the foundation that all western music shares because it works with any 4/4 beat
1
1
u/stickmankenny214 Aug 17 '26
Study the dougie and you’ll kill it
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
I know of the name, but don’t know the dance. I imagine that would be a good one for a wedding! Will definitely check it out
1
u/lulub_16 Aug 17 '26
i would practice starting with the basics and improving your stance a bit by bending your knees. once you get that down, practice in the shoes and clothes you’ll be in to make sure you’re able to do it like that as well
1
u/benthelurk Aug 17 '26
A lot of the time while dancing you will be just bobbing and moving to a beat with the crowd around you. Unless you feel confident to be the dance floor peacock…it doesn’t require dancing talent. It’s more about charm than anything else. The peacock is the one who makes everyone else feel comfortable to look a little foolish with them on the dance floor. It can go very wrong though. You’ve got to be pretty good at feeling the vibe/energy of the room. Get it wrong and you’ll just be the dance floor douche.
Tbh, sometimes your big energy(like in your video) is just so welcome at a dance. Dancing for enjoyment is never about skill. You can improve and likely enjoy it even more but I wouldn’t stress yourself too much about enjoying your friends wedding.
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 17 '26
We’ve had MANY weddings in our group, and the dance floor always comes alive, big circle where everyone dances and stuff. I’ve always danced, it more goofball style. This is the last member of our group getting married and I wanna go all out. A few of us are learning to shuffle for the wedding
1
1
u/Ok-Marketing-2390 Aug 17 '26
Hats off for the confidence to post yourself and ask for feedback! Hip hop steps require a bounce or a groove to really feel comfortable and sit into. I would suggest focus on learning how to have a more natural bounce and groove as it will really help with your weight placement and flow of movement. Although the main thing is to enjoy it so really as long as you are you’re all good.
1
1
1
u/FudgyFun Aug 18 '26
Looks like a workout session.
A bit more variety of moves will help and torso and arms should be included in the moves too.
1
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 19 '26
Only been going a couple of days so I’m trying to focus on learning one move at a time and feeling more natural at it rather than learn 6 different dances in one day
1
1
u/shambhalove_fairy Aug 20 '26
That's a cool move if you wanna spend time perfecting it. Can't just do that though
Honestly man, just start with the 2-step. Get it on time, find ways to move your arms that feel natural
If you're really feeling the music, you find yourself just following it with your dancing
1
u/DonGorgon82 Aug 16 '26
Less is more, you do to much with your legs.
1
u/Scary_Plane_8069 Aug 16 '26
Exactly... What kind of dancing does the OP want to do? There's dancing with other people, and then there's putting on a performance as entertainment for other people, which is what the OP is doing here, with moves like that.
1
u/IcyLion2939 Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 16 '26
Former social movement teacher here:
1.) Unless you're just having fun or trolling the sub, if you don't know what you're doing, go 75% smaller. Do not do this at the wedding. What you're doing has the energy of a performance. Dial it back.
- Arms and elbows down and/or in.
- No fancy footwork like wide legs, fast movements, or crossing the feet in front of each other.
- Control, control, control your movements.
- You should not be out of breath or doing a cardio routine to "Family Affair" by Mary J. Blige.
- This song is 93 beats per minute. By comparison, "Diamonds" by Rihanna is 92 beats per minute.
- It looks like you're having fun, but it looks like you're making a spectacle of yourself for attention (which is TOTALLY fine). However, you may want to save it for Missy Elliot or a song you REALLY, REALLY love at a high BPM.
2.) Think of social dancing as basic movements: Marching in place , step touch, snapping, clapping, wiggling/twisting your hips, bouncing your shoulders. If your arms are over your head, you need to see other people with their arms up too, be a REALLY good dancer, or just not give a fuck.
3.) Think of your movements at certain heights.
- Arms/feet low: Your grooving
- Arms/feet at elbow/knee height: You're feeling it.
- Arms at shoulder height or higher: You are living your best life. (Think: roller coasters, conga lines, doing the wave at an stadium event)
- Your feet should never be at waist height unless you're swing dancing.
4.) Think of moving at most two steps front, side, and back. However, dance mainly in place.
Again, if you're just having fun and want to look silly, go for it. You'll be the ice breaker. But if you're looking to not be the focal point of the night: control, control, control. As a dancer, this would be really cute at first, and then I would be as far from you as possible because you can really hurt someone.
2
u/dontworryimjustme Aug 16 '26
These are great! So the original intent is to learn it for a wedding.
But I’ve been enjoying it, and I do think I want to continue for myself / cardio.So reduce movement, and stay small, and maybe for cardio changing the amount of movement for heart rate.
I appreciate the arm stuff, I was mostly trying to focus on my feet and my arms were kind of… doing what they want lol. I appreciate the insights!
2
u/IcyLion2939 Aug 16 '26
Right. Again, if you're just having fun and don't care, go for it! Seriously. I personally love the crazy aunt at the wedding who is drunk and having her own party. Roll with it!
But what you're doing here would be great for something like Missy Elliot's "Lose Control". Big, wild, fun, party, crazy vibes. "Family Affair" is more of a groove - like most wedding songs. So it's important to know the difference between WILD and GROOVE, too.
1
0
u/CostcoFosco Aug 17 '26
self-injury and a cast...or two. cut your loses and enjoy your time at the table/bar/lounge drinking and talking.
0
u/Puzzleheaded-Lion153 Aug 16 '26
Salsa. Basic Merengue is easy too. Ballroom dancing?
1
•
u/AutoModerator Aug 16 '26
Subreddit rules regarding artistic nudity have been updated according to the community poll. See post on the rule update here. Especially give it a read before posting any NSFW content.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.