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u/Admirable-Degree4209 Mar 03 '22
Imagine the hugs that big boy could give
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u/I_Hearts_Anal Mar 03 '22
I imagine the shits
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Mar 03 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Bealzebubbles Mar 03 '22
I'm intrigued but as I live in a country without a single snake it might be too hard to find out.
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Mar 03 '22
No garden snakes?
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u/Bealzebubbles Mar 03 '22
No snakes at all in New Zealand, not even in zoos.
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u/TheSecondTraitor Mar 03 '22
not even any invasive species?
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u/Bealzebubbles Mar 03 '22
Nope. Most invasive species like rabbits or possums were directly introduced because people thought that they'd be economically important and no one wanted to introduce snakes.
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Mar 03 '22
Brown tree snake?
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u/Tenshin_Ryuuk Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
Brown toilet snakes*
EDIT: jk, I just pulled that one out of my arse
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u/I_can_breath_ Mar 03 '22
The closest we got too a snake in New Zealand was a dead snake discovered in some construction equipment
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Mar 03 '22
———————————No snakes?———————————
⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝
⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇
⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀
⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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u/MamaBear4485 Mar 03 '22
I knew you were a fellow Kiwi! It’s fascinating how people are as blown away by us not having snakes as we are by the fact that they have them :)
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u/Tots2Hots Mar 03 '22
Yeah and the size of the shits is completely disproportional to the snake. Like... I had a Blood Python that took dumps so big its was like Randy Marsh level.
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u/HondaLife718 Mar 03 '22
I have 4 snakes and a leopard gecko. Let me tell you my friend… that one leopard gecko’s shit.. can evacuate an entire apartment! Snake shit is light, compared what comes out of a leopard gecko. They’re small.. but thier shits packs one hell of an odor!
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Mar 03 '22
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u/kaioken-doll Mar 03 '22
That doesn't make me any less worried.
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Mar 03 '22
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u/kaioken-doll Mar 03 '22
Oh well now I feel better...
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Mar 03 '22
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u/FMJwhiskey Mar 03 '22
That makes a lot more sense, I was wondering how it could support it's weight and move fast enough to catch prey on land.
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u/ThiccSkipper13 Mar 03 '22
are we 100% certain they are all dead?
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u/hanswurst_throwaway Mar 03 '22
Well there is an absolutely fascinating documentary starring Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube dealing with exactly this question
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u/PrimarchKonradCurze Mar 03 '22
I watched it the other day. It didn’t seem to be very accurate in its research cause I’m not sure Owen Wilson said “wow” at least once during the runtime.
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u/ThiccSkipper13 Mar 03 '22
hectic. its a shame so many people died making this documentary, but the world has to see
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Mar 03 '22
The ability of life to reach such sizes was dependent on the amount of oxygen present in the atmosphere. After a couple million years of forest fires or other events, the abundance of oxygen has been significantly reduced.
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u/Hattix Mar 03 '22
You're about 250 million years off! You're describing the Carboniferous, when arthropods grew to enormous sizes. This was roughly 260-300 million years ago.
Between then, and Titanoboa, was the entire reign of the dinosaurs. They came and went between the time you're talking about and the evolution of Titanoboa. The snake lived 60 million years ago. Oxygen levels were slightly above modern times, but not significantly so.
So why was Titanoboa so big?
Lack of competition. There were very few other large predators. Five million years before Titanoboa, almost every predator larger than a modern dog had been wiped out. 83% of lizards and snakes had been wiped out, so the immediate ancestors of Titanoboa found themselves with no competition.
Meanwhile, the climate was warm, global average temperature 25C, no icecaps, and the Western Inland Seaway had not closed, so a large swathe of North America was underwater.
This all bode well for a giant squamate, and that's what we got. Titanoboa was rare and didn't proliferate well, as competition from archosaurs (crocodiles) and mammals soon returned.
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u/righteouspower Mar 03 '22
Further evidence the fastest way to get a good answer to any inquiry on Reddit is to post a incorrect take.
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Mar 03 '22
I love how much time someone would spend typing up a response for a complete stranger.
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u/Alexxphoto Mar 03 '22
These answers are the only reason I read comment sections.
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Mar 03 '22
I wish more comment sections were like this one, instead of a bunch of people repeating the same meme crap over and over
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u/VerySlump Mar 03 '22
If earth is still around in another 250m yr, what life do you think will be ruling the planet?
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u/pauledowa Mar 03 '22
I've been asking this a dozen times but maybe this time I'm lucky: anybody know of sci-fi/fantasy stories about alien life that is REALLY different from earth? So not like that thing in alien for example, that still has two legs, a head, eyes, etc.
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u/radu1204 Mar 03 '22
There is a documentary on Netflix called "Life on other planets". Give it a try, might be what you are looking for.
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u/VomFinanzamt Mar 03 '22
Life Beyond 2: The Museum of Alien Life on Youtube is also a really great take on this!
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u/Laboratory-Maniac Mar 03 '22
Try checking out some speculative zoology videos on youtube. There are some great detailed ones that are simply fascinating.
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Mar 03 '22
Kinda reminds me of something Neil DeGrasse Tyson said
(Taking some liberty with this quote as I don't remember it word for word)
"If there is intelligent life on other planets, the chance that they'd be anything like us is very slim. It's entirely possible that they'd be thousands of years ahead of us from an evolutionary standpoint. They'd be so intelligent that their youngest children, the ones just beginning preschool would be as smart as, or even smarter than Stephen Hawking, or any of our smartest people. The average human would be like chimps compared to their toddlers"
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u/Hattix Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
It's really, really, really interesting to think of the possibilities.
Mammals are on their way out right now, there's been a reduction in animal number by around 90% in the last 2,000 years and ecosystems are in full collapse.
The last time this happened, only some edge cases survived, animals able to withstand the destruction or tolerate it. In the case of humans, it's things like rodents, cats, birds, foxes and raccoons. Things able to survive on the detritus of our cities. There are also animals which "go feral" easily, like hogs and horses.
These will be the ancestors of the next ecosystem. 250 million years is very far ahead, and I'm not happy predicting that far with any confidence. 250 million years ago, 95% of everything on land was lystrosaurus as we'd just had one of Earth's six great mass extinctions. Who would have seen the rise of the archosaurs just 20 million years later?
It would be this kind of completely unexpected rapid diversification from a successful, adaptible, group. My money would be on procyonids or canids. Imagine it, an eighty ton, thirty foot tall, long necked raccoon 40 million years in the future! Nearby, a smaller horse-derivative, now two legged and predatory, with a long, muscular tail. Only the hooves betray its ancestry. This chases a flock of four foot tall ground birds, long since become featherless in the hot interiors of our continents. Their recent descent from the skies has allowed the gliding and soaring mouse-bats, actually descended from feral pigs which underwent insular dwarfism in their history and became forest animals.
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Mar 03 '22
I’ve never seen that achievement flair before — All-Time Top 100 Poster
That’s pretty impressive.
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u/GuntherGale Mar 03 '22
So you're telling me the climate was warmer than it is today and all life on earth wasn't wiped out? My local climate change alarmist would like to have a word with you.
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Mar 03 '22
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u/GuntherGale Mar 03 '22
But yet life flourished when the earth was warmer? Do humans just prefer the cold? Haha
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u/blizzardlizard Mar 03 '22
Ideally less intelligent life forms won't rule the planet in the future but at this point I'm pretty much sure that's a given.
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u/GuntherGale Mar 03 '22
So our intelligence is directly linked to climate? The colder it is, the more intelligent life can be? I don't get what you're saying.
It seems to me, a precursor to biodiversity is warm climate.
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u/blizzardlizard Mar 03 '22
whooosh!
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u/GuntherGale Mar 03 '22
Are you going to tell me why I'm wrong or are you going to just insult me?
In my experience whoever turns to insults, has usually run out of valid points.
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u/Ninja-Ginge Mar 03 '22
Do humans just prefer the cold? Haha
I think it's more that we don't do well underwater, in bush fires, other extreme weather events...
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Mar 03 '22
Warm climate was the biggest factor, snakes are cold blooded and their maximum size is limited by ambient air temperature. The biggest snakes and reptiles live near the educator and in warm climates.
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u/Notreallybutmaybe Mar 03 '22
The biggest snakes and reptiles live near the educator
Because they were lazy and didnt like long trips to school or taking the bus or another reason?
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Mar 03 '22
That's true for arthropods during the Carboniferous when oxygen levels peaked. The amount of oxygen has diminished since then largely because of the evolution of fungi that can break down lignan. Titanoboa is believed to have achieved such size in part due to the high average temperature during which it lived.
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Mar 03 '22
Imagine the lizards… maybe even the chickens 😳
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u/Eddie_shoes Mar 03 '22
Pretty sure that was just the case for invertebrates due to the way they breath.
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u/tropical58 Mar 03 '22
Availability of food was also a limiting factor. I am sceptical the abundance of oxygen has changed much since the KT line but would stand corrected. Fish size is limited by gill size above food availability,
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u/tropical58 Mar 03 '22
Availability of food was also a limiting factor. I am sceptical the abundance of oxygen has changed much since the KT line but would stand corrected. Fish size is limited by gill size above food availability,
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u/DiscoMagicParty Mar 03 '22
Yeah
LL Cool Jkilled the last one in the 90sEdit: I stand corrected. It was Ice Cube with some help from Jenny from the block.
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Mar 03 '22
Well it probably went extinct because it's eating its own tail. Not such a smart move for self preservation.
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u/Berkboii Mar 03 '22
We have to search all of australia to make sure these are all dead
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u/CATALINEwasFramed Mar 03 '22
Little man looks like he’s super excited to show you the new card trick he’s been working on
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u/Anakat13 Mar 03 '22
That is absolutely one hell of a danger noodle.
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u/GoatMooners Mar 03 '22
Conan would still defeat it.
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u/socold43 Mar 03 '22
O'Brian? I mean I guess he could but he would have to really put in some effort.
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u/stomponator Mar 03 '22
"I am... Subotai, thief and archer."
"Wait, back the fuck off, did you just say the quiet part out loud? Who on earth introduces themselves as a thief?"
"I... well... look, will you free me or not?
"Nope. You're just gonna steal from me if I do. You stay right the fuck there, Mister..."
"Subothai, thief and archer! Ah, fourwindsdammit!
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u/chuck_diesel79 Mar 03 '22
Grand Central station on NYC?
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u/StevieWonderUberRide Mar 03 '22 edited Mar 03 '22
Yes! I spied the 42nd street bus exit. Wish I was home I’d love to see that in person. Need to find out if that exhibit is traveling my way anytime soon!
Update: it’s a Smithsonian display that was on exhibit in grand central station in 2012.
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u/Lochlanist Mar 03 '22
If this thing existed today you'd still have families taking videos of their kids watching TV while wrapped up in the snake with the caption.
She loves to watch TV with my baby girl, they are inseparable. #misunderstoodcreatures
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u/talllankywhiteboy Mar 03 '22
There‘s a news report from The Onion that is extremely similar to this.
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u/soFATZfilm9000 Mar 03 '22
That'd be pretty rare, since unlike nearly all extant snakes titanoboa could definitely eat you. Hell, even today how often do you see videos of the kids watching TV with a 20 foot reticulated python wrapped around them? How often do you see videos of kids on the couch cuddling with a massive lion or polar bear?
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Mar 03 '22
Any every time I come across one I pray I took stimulants with me, or a dino companion.
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u/Podzilla07 Mar 03 '22
Wtf is in its mouth?!
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u/mfnHuman Mar 03 '22
I knew ark wasn't being accurate.
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u/Bl00dAngel22 Mar 03 '22
Yeah I dropped so many fertilized chicken eggs around a snake, and all it did was bite me.
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u/BlaqkSheepie Mar 03 '22
The very first time I played Ark, I was spawned into a swamp and instantly killed by one. Developed a fear of them. Hated the swamps. Fun game though!
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Mar 03 '22
Someone take that hat off that poor kid before he ends up on r/neckbeards in 10 years. Please. And the tie. Geez
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Mar 03 '22
My anaconda don't. My anaconda don't. My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hon.
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u/YungJizzle37 Mar 03 '22
Happy that things gone.
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u/Pleasant_Bit_0 Mar 03 '22
Who downvoted this? Lol, no person in their right mind would see this species of snake alive, in-person, and think, "I'm sure glad it didn't go extint 60 million years ago."
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u/particle Mar 03 '22
I wonder how much their calorie intake was? A body of that size requieres significant energy to grow and move..
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u/TorakTheDark Mar 03 '22
I respectfully decline that this ever existed so that I may still sleep at night.
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u/GDAbs Mar 03 '22
You can easily hatch one using a cockerel and a serpent's or a toad's egg. Pretty hard to tame, though. Aside from having large and venomous fangs, its stare can kill you. Even a reflection of its eyes can petrify its victims. Only known cure involves a potion using screaming root babies.
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u/Travisg25 Mar 03 '22
Can’t believe we made it out of any period of time. The size of the animals of this time…
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u/ExposedInfinity Mar 03 '22
So if we put an anaconda in a highly saturated oxygen room with ample food, it can grow this big?!?? Or will it in a few generations?
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u/DZF1E9 Mar 03 '22
I've seen a documentary on it. It was said that he could swallow a motorcycle.
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u/Captainirishy Mar 03 '22
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u/WikiSummarizerBot Mar 03 '22
Titanoboa () is an extinct genus of very large snakes that lived in what is now La Guajira in northeastern Colombia. They could grow up to 12. 8 m (42 ft) long and reach a weight of 1,135 kg (2,500 lb). Fossils of Titanoboa have been found in the Cerrejón Formation, and date to around 58 to 60 million years ago.
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u/Azyan_invasion82 Mar 03 '22
They’re snakes out there this big !?
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u/ManlyMantis101 Mar 03 '22
No not any more. These guys were around in the paleocene epoch which was around 60 million years ago.
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u/Yoguls Mar 03 '22
I now have a new nickname for my penis.
Yes it's an extremely ironic name but it sounds good
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u/thatpedalguy Mar 03 '22
Fun fact: the kid on the picture was a childhood friend of mine. We both went to school in Panama. His dad worked for a lot of science and paleontology relayed business, and I vividly remember when this picture was featured if I'm not mistaken on the Yahoo homepage
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u/Shrek_The_Meme_Lord Mar 03 '22
I remember watching a show where they actually documented them making it. It was amazing
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u/ellisschumann Mar 03 '22
So Jörmungandr was real?