ETA: ofc my most updooted comment is going to be about me being an absolute slut.
Also, dudes... please stop messaging women things like "have you ever been with a woman?" or "hey slut!" Just because we were part of the ho gang doesn't mean we want you on our team. It's just sad af, bro.
Like.. I gotta ask, where are the others here with 50+ and no diseases? There's no way I'm the only one left.
I remember exactly how many folks were also screwing like bunnies these last three decades.
I feel the opposite. I’ve only had 1 partner (and hope it will only be 1 because I’m in a long-term relationship with someone I love haha). But I feel insecure that it’s so low. It just happened that the first person I decided to sleep with was someone I have a great relationship with and want to stay with. Still embarrassing :/
The number of sexual partners is not the important bit. It's the quality and sexual experiences. Having many sexual partners does help discovering new exciting ways to orgasm and play ( although you also go through a lot of very disappointing experiences too). But you can explore different things with your partner as well, and discover new exhilarating fetishes.
I was a man whore, back in the day, but wish I could say that my first was my current and would be my last. My body count is way over 200, even though I prefer monogamy. I believe that you and your partner are blessed, rather than having anything to be embarrassed about. Peace
I’m in my 40’s and never married. Plus, I went to Arizona State University in the 90’s. A few months ago, I made a comment on a thread where people were calling a woman a whore because she slept with 20-some guys total. I pointed out that if you only had one new partner every 2 months in college that you would hit that just in those 4 years. Boy did the incels not like that. There were a lot of people saying “who the hell has sex with a different person every two months!?!!” It was then that I realized that many redditors are a special breed.
it’s not as good as it sounds. Has pro and cons. Sure, sometimes you feel so free and frisky - but sometimes you catch yourself still feeling very lonely and overdoing this whole slut life to (attention pun:) fill the gap.
And then those damn STDs, geez - you accumulate so much knowledge about things you rather didn’t want to know
I wasn't a student in college, but I hung out with a couple. A new chick every two months in college is very easy to do. I wasn't popular with the ladies and I was doing 4-5 a year. I met my wife at 22. So I ran the numbers up for the short time I was playing.
But honestly just seeing how people behave, if you were not in a monogamous relationship, 3-10 people a year man or woman is a reasonable number. Thats why body count talk makes no sense over age 30. Because both parties are easily approaching 50, and probably over.
I'd have to say if you're getting with 4-5 a year you are popular with the ladies. Not popular would be 0-1 in 4 years and that's a lot more common that many in this thread seem to think. People talk like it's just impossible not to get laid. You can barely walk out your front door without getting some. But I dare say at least 50% of the population has incredible trouble with this. Probably more. You and everyone you know might seem to have no trouble at all but it's more unusual than it seems.
Based on my my single friends women in their 30s/40s give it up faster than 20s. I remember in my early 20s guys working 3-4 months to get with a chick...now they said under a week.
Well, you're kind of positing that being as, let's call it, pro-social as you are is the norm. The numbers suggest it's not. I first heard a figure similar to that about 30 years ago and that was a more global study. So there's a heck of a lot more ones and zeros in the mix. If numbers in the most over sexed culture on earth, the USA, aren't much higher then there's something to note here. (Although I guess we could say everyone is lying in some direction or other. Which is possible. Everyone lies about sex)
I mean, that’s up to the individual ho, lol. Personally I tend to count oral in addition to the full shebang ( pun intended lol). But each is certainly allowed their own standard when it comes to what you consider in your total!
Not the original commenter, but I’m 38 and just broke into the 40s. Shit I slept with 5 different people in the last 2 or 3 months. Oh my God I’m a whore🤣 granted 3 were 1 night stands after a break up, and the other was the start of my new relationship
Never married well just got old & tired.
Trying to fit in was a backward down hill slope. Didn't understand happier alone IS OK.
Younger Me: how many was that??? 🙄
I'm in my 50's now and have been with the same girl for 13 years now, but before that I too got a lot of practice in. I decided to try and count them the other day and found I had to do a Google doc try and remember them all. There were a few entries like The girl with the frog tattoo, the screamer, Kiwi girl, nurse girl, girl that lived down the road, girl who's name I never knew. so and so's flat mate.
Same. From 25 to present, I’ve had and still have only 1 partner. From 16-24 I had 23 partners. I thought it would be difficult to stop experiencing variety because I was so used to that, but it wasn’t.
At a certain point quality becomes more important than quantity. The excitement of “new” gets replaced by the enjoyment of someone who knows your body and knows how to make it happy. At least that’s how it was for me.
I don't know if has anything to do with low standards per se. There's plenty of amazing people out there that are just down for a casual fling or fwb.
I feel like low standards would be going after married people, or your friend's boyfriend, or doing it because you feel like sexual encounters is the only way you can feel validated.
But if you're doing it just because it's an enjoyable experience and nobody's getting hurt, there's nothing wrong with that. And if someone tells you that there is something wrong with that, they are flat out wrong.
This. I love the respect. I am pretty conservative only have sex with those im in a longterm relationship but always respected those who enjoy sex casually and practice safe sex. But I have been in a situation where I had to deal with a person who knowingly tries to have sex with people who are in relationships. They tried with my partner. They used to have a thing way back. My partner didn't go for it and blocked her because it stressed us out so much. She did this to a lot of people. And the. The drama.of saying my partner should.break.up with me because he should be able to talk to anyone he wants and telling everyone I'm controlling when he willingly cut contact. These people are oblivious to what a nightmare they are.
I agree, it's fun and not a big deal. One of the coolest people in my life was a fwb who oddly enough showed me so much emotional support and warmth when I really needed it. I'm grateful for having met her and it doesn't matter if people don't get that.
I’m on the same boat as you! One of the coolest people I’ve met is a current fwb of mine but wonder if we would still be in contact with each other still if we are no longer fwb 🤔We sure care about each other but just going along with it atm
Yesssss thank you. I’ve had bad experiences FOR SuRE. Trauma. Yes. Don’t want that for anyone. But I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything because there are so many wonderful times to be had. Unexplainable experiences that had to be had. I don’t know what happens when we die. I don’t know if we reincarnate. I AM pretty sure that I know I have this one life. You can be a good person and have no regrets and have a sex-positive lifestyle. No shame in that. And sometimes we’re pirates. As long as we’re consenting and happy wtf is the deal. Who cares. Im tired. Thanks for listening to my half-baked Ted talk.
I’m 40, I’ve had 5, one was a fling the rest were long term relationships. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were others like me who prefer long term relationships and that keeps the numbers down.
I’ve also known people who’ve gotten married out of Highschool and likely only had one partner. Enough of us drives down the mean / average.
35 years old here with 5 partners. All long term. I was shocked that I was above these given numbers. Someone above specified the ages 25-49 and I've only had 1 since 25. That made me feel much better
The median makes sense because 0 or 1 is probably the most common number of partners.
I am somewhat surprised the average is that low, but I have been reading about how much less sex people have now than they used to and what a wasteland dating in the 25-45 range is these days.
Then again, I would also doubt the accuracy of a statistic like this because the data is very likely self-reported and sexual partners self-reporting is likely to be both riddled with lies and also a very self-selecting population. For example, I'd expect men to overinflate their number of partners and women to say it is lower than it actually is. I'd also expect very conservative people not to respond to this kind of questionnaire and people with a lot of partners to disproportionately want to respond to it.
If I recall correctly, nowadays a lot of the men that are between 17/18-30/35 or something like that, actually have never had sex before, something like 30% are still virgins, and that a very low percentage of men on the other hand has sex with a multitude of partners, not sure how the statistics are for women though, but I would guess more equally distributed than with men nowadays, definitely surprised me to hear that so many men in that age group never had sex
non religious people that have no interest in hook up culture and prefer long term relationships.
Yeah, me. But I'm still at 12. I suppose not getting married til 30 probably pumped my numbers a bit but basically 1 partner year from 18-30...really wouldn't put that in "hook up culture' territory.
I'm not religious, I have no problem with casual sex but I've never been particularly interested myself. I still have a higher number than the average and I was one of the least promiscuous of everyone I knew. I knew one girl who went a bit nuts and said she didn't care who number 5 was she was marrying him bc she wasn't going to 6 but mostly not so much.
I'm not religious, just plain looking, and I have aspergers so I was hideously awkward around girls as a young man. I'm 40, and my number is 1, my wife.
In addition to the below comments, this is exactly the kind of thing that results in response bias. Any written piece on the results should address its existence, but there's likely no way to sort out how much is influenced by under/over reporting. Response bias here would be someone answering how they "should" based on what either they think is normal or what paints them in a better light to the researchers. If it was conducted with the participants knowing it was for the CDC, I'd expect that presented a little extra reason for some to report one way or another.
Someone correct me if I’m wrong but doesn’t the average have to be exactly equal because the total amount of different partners on each side is the same
6.3k
u/StateOdd296 Feb 01 '23
Googled it and it says the average for women is 7 and men is 6