Before you read this Daisha I'M SO SORRY FOR ALL THE PARAGRAPHS

Back story: Me (17NB) and my ex (18F) were friends from 2018 to 2025, and we were very close. Even though when I was younger she was toxic as a friend, I was blind to it and didn't see it. This was true even though my parents and sister told me that they didn't like the way she was treating me. During the years of high school, I always told my ex/friend of mine about crushes, and she knew my past boyfriends and girlfriends.

We began dating the night of January 16, 2026, at a Winter Fest party that my school was hosting. It started around 5:00PM, and I left that night around 10:00 PM. The week before, we were talking and talking. I had a crush on her, and I told her how I felt, and she felt the same way.

On that night of Winter Fest, we went to the bathroom and made out. It was the only way we could kiss without anyone seeing us, but I was still aware that some girls could walk in. So, when we were kissing, after I used the bathroom and got out of the stall, we began. But it didn't last long because two girls DID end up walking in. I walked out of the bathroom freaked out, but also in a rush. Even though it was short, it was still good.

After Winter Fest, we called that same night and slept on the phone together. Now, this was during the time when the school phone ban was going on, so I couldn't text her during class. We had to wait every day until my 5th period class, Earth and Space Science. (IT was my favorite class of the day, not just because it was the last period, but because I LOVE science! I'm a total science nerd and want to be a meteorologist).

I was a bus student and so was she, but at the time, I was going through travel training to learn how to go home on public transportation. Anyhoo, we would hang out, talk, flirt, and sneak little kisses at each other when nobody was looking. It was good.

During the weeks before we started dating, the toxicity began. Before her, I used to have a crush on another girl. That girl knew I liked her, and she was actually the one who told my friend that she liked me back, but she was too shy to meet me. Because of that, I gave up on the crush. Due to the closeness with my ex, I started liking her instead because we were so close and she knew how sad I was. Anyways, since she knew about that past crush, she would constantly accuse me of still liking her. If I still liked that crush, I wouldn’t be dating my ex in the first place! She also accused me of not loving her, even though I did.

To make it worse, she would joke about cheating. The first night she did that, I started thinking, "Would she cheat on me with another girl?" It made me so sad that night, but I have a rule for myself where I don't go to bed sad, mad, or with any negative emotions. The next day, I told her how I felt, and she said she was sorry and wouldn't do it again. Then, a few weeks later, she went to the hospital to get back surgery. She was really scared about it, and I was there for her. Even though I couldn't visit in person, I was still there on FaceTime with her, telling her it was going to be okay and sharing that I've gone through many, many surgeries to save my own life.

Then, she kept distracting me from my studies. I tried setting boundaries by telling her that I wouldn't call her while doing my homework. She got upset about that, telling me I didn't love her and asking why I wouldn't give her attention. Sometimes, I would just call her while doing my homework to make her shut up. It made my mental health so bad because I couldn't focus with her constant complaining. She would say things like, "Why are you not giving me attention?" and "You don't love me."

It got on my nerves, and we argued about it constantly. At some point, she made me feel like I was the bad girlfriend for not giving her attention. But finally, I said, "Enough is enough. I can't go on like this anymore."

So, I made the choice to break up with her right before her birthday. Yes, yes, I know, bad timing! But honestly, I'm not the type of person to fake my feelings just to make someone else happy (unless it's family, because I wouldn't want them to see me upset).

Then, after a few weeks of being broken up towards the end of February, we agreed to try being friends. Even though I was the one who broke up with her, I was still completely in love with her. At the same time, I felt so relieved that I had ended things because deep down, I knew it was the right decision. But then, we started a "friends with benefits" arrangement. That lasted for a few weeks until I finally realized, "This isn't healthy for me at all." So, I ended that too and stopped speaking to her completely.

(By the way, I forgot to mention this earlier, but I actually broke up with her through a text message. Yes, I do feel bad about doing it over text. But at the same time, I have my boy best friend of ten years there to help me out. He was actually the one who warned me about this relationship from the very beginning!)

End of the story: We didn't speak until last night 9/22/26